bulling on mumsnet.

[threefeethighandrising]

Yes, this is a thread about a thread. Or lots of threads in fact. So shoot me.

I'm shocked saddened by the level of bullying that goes on, particularly in AIBU.

I'm not complaining about people speaking their minds. One of the things I love about mumsnet is frank exchanges, that people can say what they want.

What worries me is a nasty group mentality - people ganging up on a poster - usually a new one - and picking apart their story and being absolutely, unforgivably nasty to them.

We teach our DCs to stand up to bullies. Well, how do we stand up to these ones?

I've recommended mumsnet to many people over the years, as a place you can find fantastic support, frank and honest opinions. Those kinds of threads make me question whether this is a place I should be inviting any one other than those with a very think skin. Which is a real shame IMO.

I'm not really asking AIBU. I am asking how we can stand up to bullies on mumsnet. I've posted it here because it happens here a lot.

ageing - people who are having a 'ruck' on here go to facebbok/twitter etc and 'shout out' for help. Yes, really. All their 'friends' then come and rally on the thread.

Gawd! Really? Thanks, Brian

I thought I was dangerously addicted to Mumsnet. Now I realise I'm a mere dabbler

ha the 'shout out' sounds lame! how pathetic that they have to call on supporters

There are definitely MNetters shout outs - on other threads on MN as well as on FB and Twitter.

Oh yes - they definitely work! I've witnessed several and it's not nice when it happens.

Agree with OP

And not just in AIBU

You can post for advice in a different topic and get loads of people jumping in to be rude to you rather than give advice

Mostly lurk now (apart from Style and beauty which is still fragrant)

I just saw this thread. I am so fucking pissed off.

I was on one of the other threads about the mum who wanted to get a teacher fired. I have said loads of times on that thread that:

1. I don't agree the teacher should be fired, I think the parent should accept responsibility for being late, and I hope there's an innocent explanation for the 'lying'.

Despite this, the OP and the other posters going on about bullying completely ignore my posts and go straight back to the 'ahh, no one agrees, you are all horrible, can't believe no one agrees it is wrong to leave a child alone'.

I am fucking fed up with people doing this. I don't like bullying and I really don't like threads when people just take the moral high ground with no sympathy for the OP. But it is crap when an OP or a group of posters just want total agreement and pretend that anyone who is partly sympathetic, is a bully and unreasonable.

And yes, this is self-centred but I do feel crap.

I have said loads of times on that thread that the OP is not inconsistent, that the teacher was wrong not to stay, and that it's not ok to make a child lie.

The OP and other posters never acknowledge this. In fact the OP posted right after one of my posts saying this asking why does no-one agree that it is wrong to leave a child alone?

READ THE FUCKING POSTS AND THEN DECIDE IF IT'S BULLYING OR SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Well looks like I must concede I am naive - had no idea about facebook/twitter shouts.

Bizarre.

Not sure I'd define it as bullying
Though the recent thread where a poster tried to discredit another's opinion by saying they looked like a porn star or a pole dancer in their picture was distasteful at least.

It did remind me of the nasty girls at school who tried to damage other's self esteem with bullying remarks about their looks.

TSC I am talking about you, btw.
It was bang out of order.
Fortunately the poster you chose to humiliate was dignified in her response.

most people aren't mature enough to post on MN

and that's not always a bad thing.

the point is - why post something in AIBU ?

if you have been on MN for more than a minute, you would have to be a fucking nobber of the highest order to post in AIBU regarding a serious subject that warrents some kind of tactful answer

so to all you posting in AIBU who want tact

you are nobbers

nobbing nobbers

I've seen a small amount of bullying tactics on here but usually they are a minority and easily ignored.

What really irks me are those that jump on an OP when they clearly haven't bothered reading it properly.

Absolutely littlereddragon

OP, I agree with you. I find it depressing, and it's the reason why I keep going away for six months and coming back in the hope that things have changed. They never have.

The message seems to be from some that if you go on AIBU, you are asking for it.

Unfortunately, bullies don't usually know they are bullies. New posters on here must have no idea what has hit them sometimes. There are lots of bullies here who just seem to be lying in wait for someone 'weak' to turn up, like the new kid in the playground. It's vile.

'READ THE FUCKING POSTS AND THEN DECIDE IF IT'S BULLYING OR SHUT THE FUCK UP.' Nice attitude

I agree Custy, obviously aibu is not the place for tact

In my mind there is a gulf between tactless responses and personal attacks about someone's appearance in their profile picture

blah blah blah........
thank you custardo, could not resist lurking but glad you already answered

Thanks captain.

donkey, I know it's not a nice attitude. I don't usually post like that and I don't usually get worked up. It just feels really unpleasant when people are hell-bent on claiming there's bullying going on, and I feel implicated, when I've been consistently posting to say things in support of the OP which the OP then doesn't acknowledge because I'm not in total wide-eyed agreement with her.