bulling on mumsnet.

[threefeethighandrising]

Yes, this is a thread about a thread. Or lots of threads in fact. So shoot me.

I'm shocked saddened by the level of bullying that goes on, particularly in AIBU.

I'm not complaining about people speaking their minds. One of the things I love about mumsnet is frank exchanges, that people can say what they want.

What worries me is a nasty group mentality - people ganging up on a poster - usually a new one - and picking apart their story and being absolutely, unforgivably nasty to them.

We teach our DCs to stand up to bullies. Well, how do we stand up to these ones?

I've recommended mumsnet to many people over the years, as a place you can find fantastic support, frank and honest opinions. Those kinds of threads make me question whether this is a place I should be inviting any one other than those with a very think skin. Which is a real shame IMO.

I'm not really asking AIBU. I am asking how we can stand up to bullies on mumsnet. I've posted it here because it happens here a lot.

bibbity- I would have asked the same question to find out what level of response the OP would want. If it's just a general outline then obviously they may not need as much or as detailed info as someone who needs specific info.

It's basic communication. Which sadly, some people don't want to engage in.

To be honest, I think I'll just agree to disagree with you, TSC. You have your opinions, I have mine. Neither one of us are 'right' really are we, as they are personal viewpoints.

I do think there are some people who post purely to be viscious. But i get the impression they are the sort of people who were biullied themselves and feel that they are able to post vile things on the boards as it is "safe" in Rl they are probably very meak and mild who rarely look up from the floor.

far from feel bullied i pity them. It is a shame they have been so damaged by life that they feel the need to abuse others.

But then you also have the others on here who deliberatly post provocative posts over and over and over. Who get flamed in rather dramatic style and yet come back again with yet another thread in a similar vein.

They just want to be seen as a victim. They want to feel as though they are being picked on.

They will go and namechange and then post the exact details of their life again. they make it so obvious that a blind man in fog could see them.
Then when someone comes along and says "aren't you xx? yo posted yy before" they claim they are being stalked and followed, that there are poeple calling in the troll huunters on various other sites.

NO, they are just so bloody pathetic that they feel the need to gain attention any which way they can. and if getting a flaming from the large proportion of the site means that the odd one or two will pat them on the back and say "there there" then they are happy.

It is almost like self harming, they deliberatlyt post to get flamed im sure.

But both the former and latter type of poster are weird and should probably spend less time on here and more time with a therapist tbh

Who was 'bullied' on a meet-up? I thought that people just went out for a drink?

I have never in my 8 ( fuck me its been 8 years) years of mumsnetting seen anyone claim they have been bullied at a meet up.

There has been the odd incident where someone was unhappy by someone elses behaviour, but never any bullying to my knowledge.

I've just read the thread about the teacher and although I am quite hardened to Mumsnet and its funny old shall we say straight-talking ways, I do think op was treated pretty unfairly there. She made the mistake of having a provocative thread title, I think, which sort of detracted from the real point of the adult being in charge of the children leaving them on their own.

Surely if you don't want frank opinions, don't ask for them? (Not in response to this thread, but in response to the ones in question).

Or just avoid AIBU, as all some of the other threads are full of nice people.

I namechanged for good reason, yet the same few faces immediately pop up on every thread to out me and have another bitch.

Are your lives really so sad?

yogididabooboo said
They will go and namechange and then post the exact details of their life again. they make it so obvious that a blind man in fog could see them.
Then when someone comes along and says "aren't you xx? yo posted yy before" they claim they are being stalked and followed, that there are poeple calling in the troll huunters on various other sites.

NO, they are just so bloody pathetic that they feel the need to gain attention any which way they can. and if getting a flaming from the large proportion of the site means that the odd one or two will pat them on the back and say "there there" then they are happy.

stands and applauds , absobloodylutely spot on!!!!

and the more we (a) give positive responses
or (b) yell troll it doesnt matter cos like a disturbed naughty attention seeking child, any attention is better than no attention.

I've not read all the threads about it but iirc someone was picked on at a meet-up with the shiney crew - about a year ago iirc.

See, who on earth are the shiney crew? This is one of the things that irks me about MN.

Aren't the shiney crew friends of rastamouse?

Nobody has EVER been picked on at a Shiney meet-up, and I have been to all of them and had a marvellous time with women who have become close friends. Why on earth would anybody 'pick on' somebody that you like and have invited to meet? We might have picked on a waiter once though, but he enjoyed it.

alpine aren't you thinking about TDWP-gate? that was on he boards, not t a meet-up. regrettable as diplomats say....

the boards..at a meet-up..

cocksucking keyboard.

the "shiney crew" are a group of ladies on a weight loss thread that is actually about sex and gossip from what i can make out from my odd invasions

they organised a meet up and someone who had not posted on their thread for a while decided that they would like to gatecrash.

the group asked if the poster would perhaps take a rain check as a couple of the posters had some self esteem issues and felt uncomfortable about meeting people they didn't "know"

so the poster started loads of threads bad mouthing them all over the site and has continued to create some weird "they are picking on me" act.

Don't worry Frosty, its not a big barney. Just someone who misunderstood the issue.

They thought that people had been bullied AT a meeting and that fact had put them off. Which is a shame as no such bullying has ever taken place to my knowledge

haha, well yes maybe.

We are all sisters! (or brothers)

We shall hereby agree to disagree!!

and all round!!

i think people need to stop being and taking things so personal.

if you don't like someones opinion then challenge that, there is no need to comment on your suspicions of the posters home life.

challenge the post not the poster