bulling on mumsnet.

[threefeethighandrising]

Yes, this is a thread about a thread. Or lots of threads in fact. So shoot me.

I'm shocked saddened by the level of bullying that goes on, particularly in AIBU.

I'm not complaining about people speaking their minds. One of the things I love about mumsnet is frank exchanges, that people can say what they want.

What worries me is a nasty group mentality - people ganging up on a poster - usually a new one - and picking apart their story and being absolutely, unforgivably nasty to them.

We teach our DCs to stand up to bullies. Well, how do we stand up to these ones?

I've recommended mumsnet to many people over the years, as a place you can find fantastic support, frank and honest opinions. Those kinds of threads make me question whether this is a place I should be inviting any one other than those with a very think skin. Which is a real shame IMO.

I'm not really asking AIBU. I am asking how we can stand up to bullies on mumsnet. I've posted it here because it happens here a lot.

Why do some people get a 'kick' out of hurting or insulting others. I would really love to know why!

I think there are very few who deliberatly cause pain or offence though.

Of the few that do i would suggest they are usually trolls.
and the rest are quite damaged and feel that they in some way reafirm their superiority by making others feel small.

there are some that almost enjoy playing the victim and will proclaim offence when there really is no need though.

There is definetely bullying on here. I can't stand the passive aggression, all it enables people to do is backtrack when they get called on it, and say they didn't mean it etc. Very snidey

I dont think it is bullying per se.

There is an issue on MN about regulars who dont namechange and the way new names are treated - as I namechange a lot and a rhadegunde says it is interesting what you can get away with or say as a regular and what as an unknown name - its not bullying though.

Looking through those specific threads its tricky as the tone of them is a little bit close to recent trolls and people are now very unwilling to engage on an openminded level with threads like that - and it was AIBU by stealth so...

I have been a regular here on Mumsnet for almost 5 years .

I have seen some shameful, hateful posting and some really awful bullying behaviour.

But, honestly, only two names stick in my mind as being consistently unpleasant and awful. And I am sure these two are not connected to each other in any way. Its just that I keep on seeing them being spikey and rude wherever I go.

Whereas other people simply have good days and bad days.

oh i am a namechanger. it is inded funny to see how some names will react to you one way with pne name and completly different as another.

Is there a hint in that post as to who you mean

Yeah I agree, but then again you do get some that seem to enjoy shocking/swearing etc.
Are they just attention seeking?

I have seen shoutouts on other MN threads and called folks on it

not often, praps five in all in all the years I've been on MN, but it does happen

Folks being a bit stoopid or inflammatory get a drubbing

I post my opinion when someone asks for it. Sometimes my opinion is very far from theirs and this can sometimes lead to me being accused of bullying as in one of the above mentioned threads. But they asked for opinions in the first place... Sometimes I will elaborate on my opinion with other bits and bobs, if something makes me giggle in my head I'll post it. Nothing I wouldnt say in real life though.

I know that the first thing a bully would say is "I'm not a bully" so I'm not gonna rise to that one. But I will say that going on about how a certain poster is a bully based on something they said on one thread IS bullying. As someone said earlier, bullying follows you around, and thats exactly what you are doing OP, with your links.....

I didnt realise about the FB shoutouts - that is really sad - as sad as sock puppetry (a term I learnt during the latest round of drama and will now use all the time).

Do we really believe that there are calls on facebook for people to support though? or do people just want to believe that it is some conspiracy to make them look bad rather than accept the truth, that actually the majority of people think they are being daft

where does the bullying start on the 70 year old god father thread? can't be bothered to read it all....

Well 'Cheers' to all of you that can be sensible and sensitive. Might need advice soon and it is quite comforting to know that you can different angles and options.

Ha ha ha! of course there are definitely calls on facebook, twitter and indeed via mumsnet pm.

Appologies if I shouldn't ask but as a relative newbie I am still learning , but what is a sock puppet? Well obviously I know what a sock puppet is but in the context here and on another thread it was used I am baffled

anyone??

But surely even if a MN Pal came on and said "hi im getting stick on a thread" would you just dive in and be abusive just to support them?

I know i wouldn't. I would read the thread and respond whichever way i would normally. and if i disagreed vehemently with said Pal i would probably just ignore it entirely.

I think it would take a special level of childishness just to pile in for the sake of it.

the poster gets a pasting so namechanges and comes back posting in support of herself = sock puppet

pmsl.... who thinks of these names ... brilliant !!

Dont look on urban dictionary though....

Always love being accused of being a sock puppet for having a contradictory viewpoint.....

but touching on schizophrenia

and before I get lambasted for joking about MH ...I work within that field . Its just a tongue in cheek jokey response tis-all

i have thousands, cos everynoe agree's with me

that was an add on to my post , not your comments squareknickers