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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wanting to get this teacher fired

690 replies

lividbeyondbelief · 19/02/2011 23:08

My dd attends a language class on saturday mornings in central london. This week due to horrible traffic we were 30 minutes late to collect her. We tried texting her teacher to say we were stuck in traffic but never got a reply. Anyway to make a long story short - she left my dd outside the school, alone with another boy, whilst she went out to go buy lunch. To make matters worse she told her to lie to us and say she was in the room next door if we asked where the teacher was when we collected our dd.

Our daughter was really upset and cried whilst being outside alone with this boy. My dh noticed she had been crying but the teacher just dismissed it, saying to dh she cried because he was late.

Obviously the bond of trust is broken and she wont be going back ever again. My question is what else should we do?

OP posts:
JaneS · 20/02/2011 00:52

Just out of interest - someone (Pixie?) said earlier in that thread that the teacher may had to lock the building. If she wanted to go elsewhere to try to contact the OP, and was also not meant to take the children away from where their parents would expect them to be/to take them into another building, how was she meant to do that?

I'm guessing teacher didn't have a phone as didn't get the texts.

Original poster
lividbeyondbelief · 20/02/2011 00:52

Thank you chippin/elephan/hmc etc. I was beginning to wonder where common decency had gone.

Leaving small children unattended and then telling them to lie is unacceptable.

OP posts:
ChippingInFanciesCheeseOnToast · 20/02/2011 00:53

HMC It really does make you wonder about some people doesn't it? I'm flabbergasted.

LRD I think they were both in the wrong - but Livid was unexpectedly held up and it has never happened before (it's not like she's regularly late or went somewhere ridiculous). It doesn't make what the teacher did any less wrong and I think they either need to explain their policy to the teacher or get one in place. No matter how wrong the parents are, the teacher should not leave the children on their own.

Anyway - I'm off to bed now - night all.

GreenEyesandHam · 20/02/2011 00:53

The thread title is 'wanting to get this teacher fired'

Wanting another person to lose their job, because they themselves were late.

I think that's why the OP has recieved some of these responses

Had the title been ' to feel uncomfortable about this', or 'a bit miffed' my response would have been NO

Original poster
lividbeyondbelief · 20/02/2011 00:54

Who said i live walking distance away? I live three zones away!!

OP posts:
hmc · 20/02/2011 00:55

LittleRed - it really does. I try not to read AIBU as a rule, but a bit of insomnia tonight so got drawn in. How I regret it! Some of these attitudes depress me utterly

TheSecondComing · 20/02/2011 00:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hmc · 20/02/2011 00:56

Sorry I meant Chippin Blush

JaneS · 20/02/2011 00:57

Chipping - I agree neither did well, but it's not really for the mum to judge the teacher, when her own fault is the greater, surely?

It is quite possible there is no policy for the 'teacher' and no possibility of putting one in place - I think you're responding to this far more as if it were a quasi-school situation than as a private lesson, which it sounds as if it is.

I do still want to know how the 'lying' happened and if your DD is ok? Sounds as if she's caught in the middle and realizes both you and the teacher are angry. Sad

CaptainNancy · 20/02/2011 00:58

hmc- schools can call SS if a parent is half an hour late collecting a child, yes- it is abandonment of a child.

PixieOnaLeaf · 20/02/2011 00:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

LadyGlencoraPalliser · 20/02/2011 00:58

I'm a Brownie leader. I would never leave one of my Brownies unattended if their parents were late to pick them up. OTOH I would, justifiably I feel, be livid if the parent considered a text was an appropriate way of letting me know that they were going to be late. Why didn't you phone the teacher? It looks remarkably as if you think she is there for your convenience. Surely for your DD's sake alone you would have wanted to phone and reassure her about the delay?

ilovesooty · 20/02/2011 00:59

At some point if the parent doesn't appear and you've no idea where they are you'd have to call someone. Of course you'd try to call the parent, but the parent didn't bother to call the teacher, did she?

And we still don't know how the instruction to lie has happened.

And yes: I'm certainly much more inclined to be cross in response to a parent who's been irresponsible yet phrases her thread title in terms of wanting to get the teacher fired.

phooey · 20/02/2011 01:00

'AIBU to get this teacher sacked?'

YABVVVVVU.

The end.

hmc · 20/02/2011 01:01

hmc- schools can call SS if a parent is half an hour late collecting a child, yes- it is abandonment of a child.

In principle they probably can, but doesn't mean they do! I am quite sure schools exercise discretion - i.e.- is there previous evidence of neglect, a history of lateness etc

JaneS · 20/02/2011 01:01

Agree Pixie, we don't know she went to lunch. If it had been me, I'd have gone to try to ring the parents if I could.

Incidentally, it's quite possible this woman was worried and 'lied' to the DD because she didn't want to say 'I'm going to try to call your parents as they're nowhere to be seen and they're never late; I'm worried'.

curlymama · 20/02/2011 01:02

HMC, calling SS after half an hour with no contact from a parent is more resonable than you might think. Imagine a situation where a 3yo was left at nursery because a parent was in a car accident, and unable to get in contact. Nursery has a policy that two mambers of staff will remain on the premises until the child is collected. They both have to drive to collect their own children from school in opposit directions in 40 mins, and would not be allowed to take the child in their cars anyway. Emergency contacts are unavailable.

What else would the nursery staff do? I can't imagine it happens alot, but it's a fairly common policy for nurseries to do that.

CaptainNancy · 20/02/2011 01:03

I am surprised the tutor did not contact you on the emergency number though.

What about the boy's parents? Why were they so late- same traffic?

Tortington · 20/02/2011 01:04

she shouldn't have left them unattended

you should have phoned not texted - that was daft.

i think its overly precious to get someone fired and ruin someones career oer this tbh

PixieOnaLeaf · 20/02/2011 01:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

PixieOnaLeaf · 20/02/2011 01:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ilovesooty · 20/02/2011 01:06

So here we have:

a parent who's sufficiently anxious to deflect blame/vindictive to want someone sacked when she was late. She texted and didn't bother to ring to say what was happening. And she still hasn't explained how her daughter was "told to lie".

CaptainNancy · 20/02/2011 01:07

hmc- my children's school states in their policy that they will contact SS if you are >30 minutes late to collect your child from after-school care.

I have no idea if they've ever done it though!

I do however know schools that have called SS due to late pick-up of child, though obviously as you say there are other issues, and the late pick-up is just the trigger for referral.

hmc · 20/02/2011 01:07

That would be fair enough Pixie (concern that the parent had been in an accident as a motive for contacting SS) but the posters mentioning Social Services in this instance were being snippy and adversarial to the OP rather than concerned that she had been involved in a car accident

JaneS · 20/02/2011 01:09

hmc, I imagine the teacher may have been concerned the OP was in an accident.

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