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AIBU?

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Original poster

Wanting to get this teacher fired

690 replies

lividbeyondbelief · 19/02/2011 23:08

My dd attends a language class on saturday mornings in central london. This week due to horrible traffic we were 30 minutes late to collect her. We tried texting her teacher to say we were stuck in traffic but never got a reply. Anyway to make a long story short - she left my dd outside the school, alone with another boy, whilst she went out to go buy lunch. To make matters worse she told her to lie to us and say she was in the room next door if we asked where the teacher was when we collected our dd.

Our daughter was really upset and cried whilst being outside alone with this boy. My dh noticed she had been crying but the teacher just dismissed it, saying to dh she cried because he was late.

Obviously the bond of trust is broken and she wont be going back ever again. My question is what else should we do?

OP posts:
hocuspontas · 20/02/2011 18:47

At our Junior School the children are turfed out into the playground after school. If the children's parents don't turn up, the children use their common sense to either wait on a bench in the playground or go back into school and wait in reception. There is no teacher/parent handover.

OP - well worth taking something from this experience. Don't text. If you were texting me, then it's unlikely I would have received it even now! Also when starting new activities to enquire what their rules are for teacher/parent handover.

phooey · 20/02/2011 18:48

'to cover her tracks' ?!

She did nothing wrong. Your children were her responsibility until then end of the class, then they were yours, and she did you a favour by supervising them for longer. Stop giving her such a hard time and PLEASE accept your responsibility.

Original poster
lividbeyondbelief · 20/02/2011 18:49

My DH only found out last night, same as me.

He will be speaking to the relevant department tomorrow when they open.

OP posts:
rainbowinthesky · 20/02/2011 18:50

But you were meant to be supervising your dd not her. You didnt check with her to find out if she could look after her for you. Your responsibility, your child. I agree with others that if you could admit your fault in this you wouldnt get so much Hmm

phooey · 20/02/2011 18:51

And 'left scarred' is ridiculous. You are her parents and should have been there. There is no scarring, only the harsh realisation that when her parents aren't there for her, they will blame another adult!

rainbowinthesky · 20/02/2011 18:51

You still havent explained how you know for sure the teacher asked your dd to lie for her.

smilerwile · 20/02/2011 18:52

I know a nursery where they would have phoned SS so that staff could leave.

She may need to eat for health reasons or just because it is the only opportunity she has to eat for the rest of a very long period or whatever.

Think she should have left a note on the door explaining and taken the children to the shop though (and not told children to lie - what child wouldn't tell their own parents?!). However, she probably thought that might make it harder for the parents and that whoever arrived first would not leave the other child on their own until the other parent arrived and so she did make a bad call but don't we all at times. If only a 2 minute walk I would have turned back with the car and left you outside the house while I set off on foot to get my dc. We all get it wrong at times.

captainbarnacle · 20/02/2011 18:55

livid "Leaving two children unsupervised was negligent in my view" - it was you who left your child unsupervised! You incorrectly made the assumption that it would be OK to be 30mins late.

No doubt if she has stayed glued to your child for the entire time you were late, you would have just taken her home without expresses guilt or gratitude for being so late. I know I would have been mortified to have been so late - I have been an hour late to nursery before now to pick up a 2yr old because I went on a walk and got lost! I phoned the nursery 15mins before I was due to pick up because I realised I would be late. I phoned again once I wasn't lost and knew an ETA. I was very upset when I got there and was so grateful that DS was able to stay.

Stop making assumptions about other people, and be grateful that your DD was unharmed due to your lateness.

veritythebrave · 20/02/2011 19:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SarahStrattonHasNiceBears · 20/02/2011 19:09

Ahh did not know about 6 zones - either I never noticed (entirely possible) or it's more recent than when I worked in London.

I am still struggling to believe that the teacher did actually leave the premises and tell the children that. She would have been found out if either set of parents arrived before her return, when one of the children said something or if something had happened.

Particularly as she did not get your text and had no idea that you would be longer than a couple of minutes away.

IMO it is far more likely that a message has been misinterpreted.

I am also puzzled by the coffee shop being 2 minutes away yet the road there being 3-4 lanes wide. That's a major road/motorway not a road through an estate.

Sounds a load of bollocks to me.

You need to accept responsibility for YOUR part in this and call people in future. Texts are not a reliable means of communication.

veritythebrave · 20/02/2011 19:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JaneS · 20/02/2011 19:26

livid, I understand you were writing the title in anger and you were upset.

And I am sympathetic that you've had a nasty shock, your poor DD is upset through no fault of her own, and the teacher sounds at the very least quite thoughtless and not very aware of what children that age need.

But, I really think you need to calm down and think whether or not you're being fair. It does not sound as if the teacher asked your DD to lie, and it doesn't sound as if she was trying to cover up something she knew she'd done wrong.

ivykaty44 · 20/02/2011 19:33

Perhaps the teacher should have brought a packed lunch - what do you reckon OP...?

PixieOnaLeaf · 20/02/2011 19:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

SarahStrattonHasNiceBears · 20/02/2011 19:39

Why not get your DD to walk to the coffee shop in future? It's only 2 minutes away.

Original poster
lividbeyondbelief · 20/02/2011 19:51

This thread is just getting bonkers.

Teach my child to cross a major junction? IF you don't know London well then why comment? Yes there are 6 zones, some in zone 2 near major junctions/roundabouts/flyovers.

OP posts:
PixieOnaLeaf · 20/02/2011 19:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

vintageteacups · 20/02/2011 20:01

At the end of the day, a responsible teacher shouldn't have left the children unattended -no matter what.

Other than taking the children with her, she should have foregone her trip to get lunch or whatever.......because.............

if the lesson ends and the parents aren't there, then their company policy is not as water tight as it should be. It should:

a) provide enough staff to allow the others to leave the premises

b) charge parents for every 5 mins they're late

c) call SS after 30 mins. If the parents are worried about the traffic, they could wait for their child - how long a saturday morning language lesson last for goodness sake?

So that's 3 possible other solutions than the incompetant teacher leaving the two children.

vintageteacups · 20/02/2011 20:03

Livid at the very least, once you've spoken to the company, you could ask the 'Local Safeguarding Chidlren's Board' to check out the company child protection policy and get them to ensure that they have appropriate procedures to follow.

Violethill · 20/02/2011 20:08

And you're still accepting no responsibility, OP?

What about the fact that your culture of lax timekeeping is at odds with your dd's distress at being left for half an hour after pick up time?

Out of interest, what did you say to her when she asked, 'Did you ring the tutor and explain where you were mum?' as any normal 8 year old would? You mentioned earlier that you spoke to your dd last night and reassured her that she had done nothing wrong. I hope you admitted to her that YOU did something very wrong, in firing off one text and assuming that meant your dd was aware of why you hadn't turned up?

What if your dd had been worrying you'd been in a car accident? It's exactly the sort of thing that might go through a child's head. Yet you still didn't see fit to phone and ensure your child (as well as the tutor) knew what was happening?

Unbelievable.

Blu · 20/02/2011 20:11

SarahStratton, central London is full of 3/4 lanes of traffic near big roundabouts and one way systems that if they get gridlocked can take 30 mins to get through!
The centre of other big cities, too!

ivykaty44 · 20/02/2011 20:13

At the end of the day, a responsible parent shouldn't have left the children unattended i they know it will upset their child

Pixie - It is a shame that the OP didnt answer the question I asked about the packed lunch.

freshmint · 20/02/2011 20:14

is this still going?

blimey

Nanny0gg · 20/02/2011 20:15

You should have been there, but they shouldn't have been left outside on their own.
I think the teacher shouldn't have left them.

BoneyBackJefferson · 20/02/2011 20:16

having read this through, although feel free to point out that I am wrong, but why did it take 16 pages for the OP to say theat DD saw the teacher leave the school premises?

seems that this should have been pointed out earlier.

OP your title is very unreasonable as is your
child being "scarred" statement.

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