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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wanting to get this teacher fired

690 replies

lividbeyondbelief · 19/02/2011 23:08

My dd attends a language class on saturday mornings in central london. This week due to horrible traffic we were 30 minutes late to collect her. We tried texting her teacher to say we were stuck in traffic but never got a reply. Anyway to make a long story short - she left my dd outside the school, alone with another boy, whilst she went out to go buy lunch. To make matters worse she told her to lie to us and say she was in the room next door if we asked where the teacher was when we collected our dd.

Our daughter was really upset and cried whilst being outside alone with this boy. My dh noticed she had been crying but the teacher just dismissed it, saying to dh she cried because he was late.

Obviously the bond of trust is broken and she wont be going back ever again. My question is what else should we do?

OP posts:
GoldenGreen · 20/02/2011 14:48

oMG - read the first few replies and was flabbergasted that you kept getting YABU! Now I see a handful of people have posted something sensible...of course the teacher had responsibility for the child.

Similar thing happened to me when I was six -my parents forgot to pick me up from Saturday school and I was left standing outside the school - only in that case the teachers all went home - smiling as they went, saying they were sure my parents would be there soon. I was on my own and terrified when they turned up - probably only ten mins waiting on my own but it felt like hours.

Butterbur · 20/02/2011 14:51

I am with Livid.

This teacher was totally in the wrong. It doesn't matter if she is a qualified teacher, a tutor, a Brownie leader, a parent looking after a friend's child, or anything else.

If you are an adult in charge of a child, you ARE in loco parentis, and therefore should not leave that child unattended.

Unforeseen things happen, and I would not have been happy leaving my child with adults who would just abandon him or her. Why the teacher needed to go out is irrelevant. Why Livid was late is irrelevant. Stuff happens. But leaving two small children alone while you get yourself food is irresponsible in the extreme.

I would be looking to get this woman sacked.

JaneS · 20/02/2011 14:51

Golden that's awful! Sad

I do think though, that because little kids do that think of thinking time is far longer than it is when they're upset, might suggest the OP's little girl is overestimating how long she was left alone, maybe?

The important thing here is that there's an upset girl who thinks she's going to be punished, and presumably the boy she was with won't have been too happy either.

hissymissy · 20/02/2011 14:54

YANBU to be annoyed, but YABVU to want the teacher sacked.

elphabadefiesgravity · 20/02/2011 14:58

I agree with Blu, anyone who has charge of children should be responsible for them.

i am not a qualified teacher in the sense that I don't have QTS, thought some of my colleagues do. I have a degree in performing arts.

But I know never to leave a child unsupervised and have a procedure for what to do in the event of a parent not collecting on time.

Bucharest · 20/02/2011 14:58

I'm a course leader at a large language school with responsibility for about 200 minors and 10-15 teachers. As our organisation is part of a widely recognised and well-known approved umbrella organisation we have strict rules regarding conduct of teachers with said minors. Including being in loco parentis, always having adequate cover arranged, never taking any student in our cars under any circumstances, never taking them off the school premises for any reason and being 100% totally responsible for their welfare during the hours that their contract says they are on school premises. Our kids leave at 4.15. After which, they go under a bus, I'm sorry it's not my problem. (well, obviously, it would involve a lot of paperwork but YKWIMGrin)

My teachers are also well paid and well trained by our group and are never left not knowing exactly where their responsibilities lie.

OP- maybe a paid course in a similar organisation would afford you a greater sense of security in future.

This whole being in a primary school on a Saturday morning thing, smacks a little of a voluntary organisation set up to me, where it's highly probable that the teacher might also be working on a voluntary basis.

Obviously, as far as the inconsistencies, drip drip and wanting to get the teacher sacked is concerned YABU.

Tbh, presuming your daughter is educated within the UK system and her English is as native-speaker-like as is your own, she probably doesn't need this freebie on a Saturday morning anyway, so you won't need to lose any sleep over sending her back.

Hmm at all the bully! cries. Has there been a bus trip over from babycentre or something?

caughtinanet · 20/02/2011 15:04

Not really on topic but I assumed that the class was in the child's native language rather than English and that's why it's important.

The OP suggests that the teacher is from the same culture as the family and that neither is particularly bothered about the 30mins.

Have I got that right ?

Bucharest · 20/02/2011 15:07

Oh right. That would seem a bit more logical. I have friends in London who go to Russian school in the morning. Smile

magicmummy1 · 20/02/2011 15:09

Bucharest, I'm guessing that the class which the OP's daughter was attending wasn't an English class, but rather a class in the OP's native language - there are quite a lot of these community language schools running on Saturdays, I think. It's understandable that expat parents might want their kids to be fluent/literate in the language of their home country.

On balance, I do think it was wrong for the teacher to leave two children unsupervised, but I still find it hard to understand a)why the parents allowed themselves to be so late and b)why the hell they didn't ring instead of merely sending a text. In any case, we don't really know whether the teacher actually left the kids alone or not, and it's also unclear as to whether the children were really instructed to lie about her whereabouts - could all be a big misunderstanding.

I too wondered if the teacher might be doing the class on a voluntary basis, especially given that the class is offered free of charge. It doesn't make it right for her to leave them, but perhaps she hadn't received any training about what to do in this sort of situation.

Hopefully, the OP has now realised that it isn't a good idea to be so late when picking up her kids, and she needs to factor in a bit more time in future to allow for things to go wrong. She also needs to pick up the phone and talk to someone instead of just sending a text and hoping for the best.

magicmummy1 · 20/02/2011 15:10

oops x post

herbietea · 20/02/2011 15:12

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buttonmooncup · 20/02/2011 15:16

Do people really think that 2 kids aged 7 and 8 can't be left alone for a few mins while a tutor nips to get lunch (she was back by the time the parents got there)? Genuine question as my eldest is 3 and if I was late collecting her from nursery then I would, of course, expect a teacher to stay with her but if after 30 mins I hadn't contacted the school SS would would be called.
At age 7, on the other hand, I was walking to/from school every day and going to the shop for my mum etc. I don't think the world is any more dangerous these days - people are just more paranoid.
I think most schools let junior age kids out without checking that parents are there.
OP if you are concerned about your kids being left alone when you are late you should really clarify what the procedure for lateness is rather than assuming a tutor will wait. I think with primary age children you could make that assumption but not aged 7+.
I do think you are being unreasonable - you assumed that the teacher would wait which is why you thought a text would be sufficient and why you are angry that she didn't.

MoonUnitAlpha · 20/02/2011 15:22

Honestly I don't think leaving a 7 and 8 year old in a playground for 10-15 minutes is that terrible Confused

nailak · 20/02/2011 15:28

why couldnt the teacher just call the parents#? i am assuming the teacher would have had a list of emergency contact numbers#? imo its not ok to leave two kids on the street, if the parents regulalry cam late it would be a diff issue, but this was obviously due to some accident or other issue that caused the abnormal traffic.

Violethill · 20/02/2011 15:30

Op- while this dreadful, unprecedented traffic jam occurred, whereby it took you half and hour to make a 2 minute journey.... How come every other parent apart from you and the boys parent managed to arrive on time.

Or are you now going to 'surmise' that every other child lives locally and is picked up on foot? Just as you surmised that the tutor went two streets away to a food outlet by the river?!

You seem to be an expert at knowing all the details of everyone elses business- while still failing to recognise any responsibility in your own role in this!

Violethill · 20/02/2011 15:32

Also, you never explained why your dd was upset and crying about you being late, when by your own admission, lax time keeping is your cultural norm, and in fact you think half an hours lateness is hardly worth worrying about? Slight contradiction, no?

PixieOnaLeaf · 20/02/2011 15:37

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Violethill · 20/02/2011 15:39

If anything, the biggest attempt at bullying is the OPs thread title.

RunAwayWife · 20/02/2011 15:41

YABU you could have got out of the car and walked if you were that worried.

Bucharest · 20/02/2011 15:46

Runaway, the OP is disabled.

Still BU though.

caughtinanet · 20/02/2011 15:48

I know its a long thread but its been covered more than once why the OP couldn't get out of the car - OP has a disability that doesn't allow her to walk

princessparty · 20/02/2011 15:57

so how does the dd get from her school to the car.does she have to step out onto the street ON HER OWN

janiesmum · 20/02/2011 16:01

havent read whole thread

but why does the whole family (some with "health" problems) need to traipse all over town to take one child to a lesson

why couldnt the driver just go alone

AuntieMaggie · 20/02/2011 16:02

So the teacher has a 1 hour break between classes, of which you took up 30 mins because you were late. Regardless of what culture you're from that's half of her free time and unreasonable of you to expect that to be ok with her. Perhaps she had no means of contacting you - if she usually leaves the premises between classes the school may be locked up again for this hour by the caretaker and she may have to leave.

She also may have been eating her lunch inside the building and your DC may be confused about what happened.

Needing to eat regularly is not a 'freak eating disorder'.

You don't actually know all the facts of what happened and until you do then you are wrong to make judgements about it and assume she should be fired.

Your DH apologised to the teacher when the teacher wasn't there when you collected your DC? How was that?

I'm with those that say you are taking no responsibility for being late.

herbietea · 20/02/2011 16:19

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