AIBU to think perhaps people should be looking after their children instead of arguing with strangers on the internet?

[youareallgoingtoshoutatme]

Firstly, I fully expect you all to flame me - feel free.
Secondly, I am aware of the obvious contradiction in suggesting that people should have better things to do than be on MN, when I am clearly on MN in order to type this, so please try to resist the urge to endlessly point this out.

I am name changing for this, but this is the second time I have been on MN since my daughter was born 5 months ago.

I used to come on MN quite a lot. It was helpful when I was pregnant and constantly obsessing about childbirth and pregnancy in general. I also think it is probably a really useful source of support for things like feeding, sleeping, special needs etc.

However, now that my baby is here, I find that I have more than enough to do looking after her and trying to keep up with everything else in my life.

I am amazed at the number of people who seem to have a number of children, and yet have time to argue prolifically with total strangers over the internet about their useless husbands/annoying children/vile mother in law/tedious customer service complaints at the supermarket, etc etc etc.

Seriously? Have you nothing better to do?If you have children, I find it hard to believe that you don't!!

does this mean I have to let them out of the cupboard more than once a week and look after them ?

I live with my parents. Makes for alot of MNing time.
I was actually thinking that now my youngest is a year old I actually have less time spent on here compared to when she was a "babe in arms"
I sometimes think fondly of the endless hours of feeding and mumsnetting at the same time!

I didn't have internet access when my kids were babies.
I used to spend lots of time playing tetris and sonic the hedgie instead. They all used to nap for hours and my housework didn't take long. I had to fill the time somehow.

I didn't have internet access when ds was a baby either.

I played Parappa the Rapper, Tomb Raider and Wipeout. I watched (amongst other things) the Larry Sanders show, Seinfeld, Brideshead Revisited, Queer as Folk, The League of Gentlemen and I'm Alan Partridge, and worked my way through the This Life video box set. Sometimes I played with my decks. It were fab.

Every now and then I threw ds a biscuit (fruit shoots weren't invented then, alas, so the poor lamb had to do with a bottle of flat coke)

timewasting has not just come about with the advent of mn. Some of us were experts loooong before

Ooooh, this is so much fun

That little bugger DD asleep again! Tut tut tut. And I'm expressing with one hand. And by accident watching Match of the Day. Better stop MNing now and use this hand to change the channe. Oooh, such fun.

Tsk RedHeels - should you not be polishing the baby as well?

oh me too, Sugar. I was bobbins. Still remember the clangs and the sparks as my wings sccccraped the sides

I am MNetting again as DS1 has been sent packing to my mumss for a couple of days and DS2 is sleeping.

Oh hum this parenting lark is sooooooooo time consuming.

All you with babies, tut tut get off here and look after them

Wow, from the way GMajor was rounded on for simply posting 'YANBU', I would say this thread has struck a raw nerve with some.

Even if no children were neglected (and I don't mean feral children), it is hardly the acme of parenting to be on a computer when there are so many other more worthy tasks, non-parenting included, that could be done in that time.

As with all things, in moderation.

Agree BS - Although I think chat forums are 'of their time' - Internet revolution and all that. overnight you could enter a world where no matter what time of the day or night, or how bizarre your question, you knew someone, somewhere would talk to you - and there began this reliance on strangers for company thing we have going on now. I don't personally think it matters if you're on the Internet 24/7 as long as your family/RL friends/work/ etc aren't being neglected - but that's a paradox isn't it - cos you are neglecting something if you're on the bleeding computer all day.( not necessary MN - F/B whatever ) plus the Internet can be very insidious, which is why there's a media backlash about it, ESP: mothers devoting too much time to it ) no one needs 'advice' everyday etc - plus the Internet is full of masochists - probably why AIBU is the most popular section on MN.

I think the point was it is not customary to just put YANBU without actually some explanation of your opinion especially if it is the opposite of the majority opinion. Hence the rather over blown but obviously sarcastic for comedic effect resonse.

I also think it is very judgey to tell other people how they should spend their free time. Just because you are a mum doesn't mean you become a house hold slave and have to spend every minute doing either house work or child related activities. Are you 'allowed' to read a book or watch a film? Is that any more 'worthy' than posting on the Internet? Plus it's rather hypocritical to say that in a post on the Internet isn't it? Just a bit confused as to how anyone thinks they have the right to judge when they have absolutely no clue what everyone elses circumstances are.

There are no customs on the internet.

No one is saying people must spend every minute tending to their housework or offspring.

But profilic posting must mean something else has got to give. Not judgey. Just logical.

blueshoes You're absolutely right of course. But there are a lot of morons on here who do post prolifically and their DC suffer for it.

Any good parent would not allow their DC to be on the computer all day, so it's not rocket science to deduct that the moronic prolific posters are, at best, setting a dreadful example and, at worst, neglecting their DC.

I think it is me that you are referring to, blueshoes - I got the impression that GMajor7 was just posting a glib reply - there was no indication that she was basing her opinion on anything other than simple prejudice. That is why I asked her to back up what she was saying - and got told to take a chill pill.

She then asserted that she hadn't actually said anything and didn't have an opinion on the subject, so I pointed out that she had expressed a very clear and unequivocal opinion.

I think it is reasonable to challenge someone on their opinions - it is lazy to express an opinion without being willing to back it up with some facts or at least some background for your view. If this counts as 'rounding on' someone, then I am surprised. I didn't think I was nasty - blunt, perhaps, but questioning GMajor7's opinion, not attacking her personally.

Clearly there are some people who focus on the internet at the expense of everything else - the Korean couple whose child starved whilst they gambled on the net, are a case in point. However, I doubt that there are people who are spending 24 hours a day on mumsnet (and people spending time on mumsnet instead of caring for their children is the subject of this thread).

Making a huge generalisation, like the one in the OP, is lazy and silly - there is no way the OP or anyone else can see what I or any other poster are ignoring whilst we are on here. I am a prolific poster here - but my children are teenagers, at school more than 6 hours a day, and really not needing much of my input for quite a lot of the rest of the time - so I have time to spend on other activities - and why should anyone criticise if the activity I choose is mumsnet? I am sure that my children are not neglected or uncared-for - and I would tend to assume that most other mumsnetters are equally good mothers, and are very unlikely to be neglecting their children in order to post here.

Sorry - pressed post too soon - I meant to say to blueshoes that yes, sometimes something does give, in order for me to spend time posting prolifically here - but it is not my care of my children. It may be my other activities - I post here instead of going and doing a painting, or some knitting, or watching tv. Sometimes it is the housework - because I freely admit I would rather spend time talking to and reading the opinions of mumsnetters than pushing the vacuum round the house or polishing the dog. Sometimes it is sleep, or at least time in bed - I suffer insomnia and tend not to go to bed until I feel properly tired, so may spend time on here late at night whilst the rest of the family are asleep (and therefore not really needing any care from me).

Gorgeousx - my dses are at school - how am I setting them a bad example? How do my posts prove I am moronic?

SugarPaste do you know, I actually am. Well, was

we never ever said bobbins, though. I nicked it off my BIL from Manchestor, and Frank Sidebottom

oh and Gorgeousx- you are being a twat

tata x

(my dc are on half term and they are currently playing pontoon for money in the living room, in their pyjamas)

& watching a film isn't the same as disappearing into your own little world on the Internet- typing away on here/netmums/ wherever/ is a solitary activity - the family are 'shut out' - your dc could be watching the film with you, or chatting to you while you sew or read, if you're engrossed in a debate/argument on here - the world could end and you wouldn't notice (personal experience)

carminaburana Thank you for expressing that so well. Spot on!

SDTG Perhaps if you went out more (maybe even just for a walk) and got some fresh air, instead of posting prolifically (your words) you would not suffer from insomnia.