Benefit Bashing

[Kendodd]

A mum I know and her DP with two children live in a two bed (nice) HA house. Neither of them work and have not worked for as long as I've known them (two years) I don't know about before then. She has told me they are trying for another baby, not to get a bigger house or anything, just because they want four children eventally. I would love four children but can't have that many because for one we just can't afford four.

AIBU to feel a bit pissed off that they can have more children and I can't or am I just a jealous benefit basher.

ps They are both nice and don't have a flatscreen TV.

'and contribute to a private pension that will enable them to enjoy retirement. I know they are entitled to state pension but they will not have to rely on it.

'

Good luck with that; Dad did same thing, well company pension- advisors from decent independent sources said excellent investment (not state) got sold to an American company who were allowed under USA law to strip it to pay debts and they have atotal income of £2k as compo nowq.

Hopefully nobody will ever suffer that again; but the tehre but for the grace of God go I aspect odf that is for me huge.

What exactly have I posted wrongly?

And who is going to read mumsnet??

Are you referring to my views? Or the fact that I said my parents pay into a private pension?

Baffled!

Er..Giraffe - women who have children generally are NOT on JSA.

Those that ARE on JSA have to show they are looking for work - at least my DH did when he was made redundant for a short time. (mercifully only out of work for a short time).

I don;t think 4 months maternity is anything but fair; it was all that was available when I had my two eldest, well 12 weeks, and having to go back at nine was really quite an awful experience. I am glad that ahs changed.

Wi wonder how people sitting laughng at benefit claimants would view us? When I was doing my degree ds1 and ds3 were both diagosed with autism, and ds2 another, milder SEN. I ahd no options but eventuallynto become a carer and a year into that DH was amde redundanty- not from a failling business but one that chose to change direction.

I have managed top gradutae and am doing an MA in Autism; the plan for me is to do my PGCE and specilaise in SEN. DH works pT (well I do as well but am braking even on self employment and no more- is a smuch for experience for application forms as anything else tbh).

THis last month it has become evident that our youngest and alst, conceived and born on a good salary, also has a form of autism. TBH I am more than a littel fucking sick of the damned disorder now .

DH will combine his PT work on graduation so I can qualify but right now we cannot see any way but dependence. I spoke to our lovely CM yesterday (she ahs ds4 2 morning a week to provide me with repsite, sleep, study time etc) and whilst she'd love to ahev ds3 and ds4 on her books, ds3's SNU taxi drop off at exactly school kick out time precluedes her and everyother CM she knows from helping. I knew this but wanted to check I wasn't looking to excuse myself.Theyc annot do nursery care aprtly becuase of the ASD but asllo becuase the only school clubs locally are up until 11 or 12 and ds1 is already 11; we will get a Nanny when we earn enough, until then it's a juggle,

Financially we're OK enough usually; much of that is SN benefits not available tomost though, clearly we are lucky to get them in multiple (DLA, not CA- thats paid once and once only; not complaning, just explaining). Lucky should be accompanied by a deep sarcasm emoticon obviously. We are glad of them but there's no luck.

If anyone is jealous of us though then truly I would suggest rhey seek psychiatric help. Quiet weekends? Please! I have DH working in the kitchen, after a week of 16 hour stretches on an assignment. DS4 hanging off me covering his ears becuase of the noise of DH's drill. DS3 naked ans pinning becuase that's what he does. DS1 repeating froggy and jumping over everyone, ds2 seems clamish though thank goodness. When DH fibnishes this run of assignments I have a critique and presentation to be ready for MArch 1st. I am also likley to end up having to look after DH as his recurrent MH issues are making themselves known again: they ahve enver made him give up work and we never tuched a penny of IB or ESA, they just triople my work.

Grateful for benefits? yes, though we paid in for many years oursel;ves. Grrrateful for the life that has caused us to need them? get real! This is most people's Hell.

Scram I am referring purely to the fact that no matter how ahrd we try, situations that can change everything can occur and quite often people think they ahve a safety net that vanishes- such as my dad.

I don;t know why people are laughing at your film degree though: my RE one gets a lot of that (world faiths, made sense given I wanted to specialise as an RE teacher).

Oh FGS me!

Not scram obviosuly thats me (Actually that's ds1's gerbil LOL)

Giraffe

Giraffe gosh you might think that someone who works in TV might be just teeny bit media savvy, and might even realise that MN has a lot of readers.

You really are struggling. I have thought about sending you a PM to enlighten you further but I think you just need to figure it out.

But here is a hint - don't give away so much next time.

Dilly - perhaps things have changed but aside from going to sign on and 'claiming' to have been on the Internet and posted a few cv's, people on JSA don't actually have to do a great deal.

And a mother I know who's maternity leave has finishes has decided not to go back to work, to claim JSA and use the excuse that the jobs she cam find are unsuitable hours due to her DC's schedule.

Actually.

I am only up to page 14, but here goes.

If I am scrounging scum then I am PROUD to be scrounging scum.

I live in HA property, both me & DH are on full benefits as we are full time carers and therefore cannot work. We have THREE disabled children.

We didn't plan life to be like this, DH worked up until a couple of years ago when it became apparent that the childrens' needs were too complex for a single person to deal with. It was his job or my mental health to put it simply.

Don't worry, we only save the state about £4,000 a week by not working. We sure as hell don't get that much, but if our kids were put into care (as I'm sure the posters on this thread would want) then it'd cost that much. It'd actually cost more than that by the way but I'm allowing for the benefits that we so scummily claim.

Problem is we may end up being caught up in the net with the people that don't want to work. We are definitely in the can't category.

So please do wave at my family in the gutter as you jauntily go by in your completely clueless way.

ScramVonChubby ... Your situation sounds so very difficult. Do you really think though that anybody was casting any aspersions at you and your family? I don't think they were. I posted earlier following you post but perhaps you didn't see it. Your situation is what benefits are for, the entire purpose of them. Why do you feel so got at? :(

Anybody can find themselves out of work at any time, especially in the climate now, that's absolutely not in dispute.

Popcrackle is that some sort of threat?

Is that what this has come to?

'They won't have more money than you. I don't know where this comes from that people who don't work have more money than people that do. When people on income support go back to work they get working tax credits so whilst still claiming a form of benefit they get more money than they would do if they were to stay at home and not work, then the more people earn the less tax credits they are entitled too. Its not rocket science and I really really can't understand why people cant understand this concept!!! '

Thats not true at all because when you are at work all your benefits go on childcare so you arent really any better off

Lying- epoepl often do comment, espeically on here: big thread ages ago about how carers dont deserve any extra help, it's just parenting. And you know, when people at school see DH about a bit more (works from home) they think all sorts, they don't know and I really can;t face explaining.

But forgive me, a lot of what in typed is still very raw so am going to leave thread for a bit. Shaking.

Glitter - the reason benefits are there is for people who find themselves in a situation like you. It's terribly sad and nobody is disputing that...

My issue is with people who can work, but choose not to.

This whole thread is supposed to be about the issue of having another child while already on benefits.

Of course people popping up with sob stories there are going to be exceptions.

But from what I know about Giraffe she can't take a hint as she is too busy laughing at people who don't have work or who are not in her privileged position.

Don't know why I bother... what is the saying?

Pride comes before the fall.

No Giraffe it was not a threat, I was just saying that you reveal too much about yourself on your posts! Do you get it yet???

You were the one who questioned who reads mn anyway. I responded because I was incredulous at your lack of awareness and knowledge.

I'm not laughing at anyone but a few people on this thread.

And I'm laughing in disbelief, nothing else.
It's astounding that you haven't even really made a point.

Popcrackle - what exactly have I revealed that is too much? I'm very aware of what I've written thanks very much.

Oh I made points Giraffe but it is ok I can see that you don't get them.

Sigh. Yawn. Sigh.

Wow Popcrackle you are frustratingly stupid.

Keep your ominously written posts to yourself... I see that you think you're ever so clever, so I'm going to have to just start ignoring you now.

Get your kicks elsewhere.

Giraffe I repeat, this government's policy is likely to scoop people in our situation up with every other person on benefits.

Therefore we get treated like and addressed like those who won't work.

Fucking Hell - Sob Stories?
Life, it's just life.

There but for the grace of God an all that Giraffe.

The vernacular you use just lends itself to offense. Maybe there have been some valid points amongst your posts but it's clouded by an undeniable air of superiority.

A lot of people on JSA aren't actually seeking jobs.

Those people are a complete drain on the country.

These are facts. Link the source of these facts?

The more you write Giraffe, the more I realise you are not actually very clever. Anyone that puts lol at the end of posts when they are trying to debate always ends up looking like an idiot, no matter what crap they are spouting what they say.

isn't it a bit of gamble though

one of my friends, living with her child and her parents, doesnt seem able to get a house, yet her sister has a brand new 3 bedroom house in a very expensive area from the ha for next to nothing

some people get lucky

some don't