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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Benefit Bashing

823 replies

Kendodd · 18/02/2011 16:40

A mum I know and her DP with two children live in a two bed (nice) HA house. Neither of them work and have not worked for as long as I've known them (two years) I don't know about before then. She has told me they are trying for another baby, not to get a bigger house or anything, just because they want four children eventally. I would love four children but can't have that many because for one we just can't afford four.

AIBU to feel a bit pissed off that they can have more children and I can't or am I just a jealous benefit basher.

ps They are both nice and don't have a flatscreen TV.

OP posts:
georgeorwell · 19/02/2011 11:13

quite unbelievable scram you mention your mini breakdown being caused by feeling guilty at being a drain on society. but that guilt's been manufactured by the vile opinions on here and in DM etc. when people gonna wise up and see clearly who the real enemy is?

and quit the snidey "meds" comment. that's just reducing the level of debate to pettiness and is tiresome.

georgeorwell · 19/02/2011 11:16

jeez the haters are back out in force. time to make an exit but not before i tell lyinwitch that as someone living abroad i can tell u the uk is viewed as a laughing stock due to our idiot royal family and the drain THEY are on society. they are the ultimate benefit scroungers so wake up hm?

popcrackle · 19/02/2011 11:17

Because Giraffe keeps telling other people to go to work, why does she not go back to work. She did not understand the reality of statutory maternity pay and how that is government funded and came on here telling others to go get a fucking job.

But hey when and if she goes back to TV land maybe she can have a word with all those supposed freelancers about their individual tax arrangements.She'll know the ones, who get paid as freelancers or through service companies.

ScramVonChubby · 19/02/2011 11:17

Snidey meds comment? I was genuine;ly glad! I thought it wasbloody fantastic something to change his life had been found.

ScramVonChubby · 19/02/2011 11:19

And that guilt is part manufactured but it's also part due to pride and existed long before MN was ever thought of.

Places like MN make it worse often, in your face as it were but that basic dignity through working ahs always been part of the wc culture I was raised in.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 19/02/2011 11:21

bigbeagleeyes... I said SOME people (in the first place). I don't think JSA is a picnic, not at all, but there are SOME people who manage to work the system very well and there are SOME people who get money (cash in hand). I don't believe that these people have a single sleepless night worrying about their future.

I think that unfortunately, because these people who flout the rules hit the media so often, the genuine claimants tend to get 'tarred with the same brush' and that's unfair.

I'm not asking anybody to justify themselves and their own position at all. I'm talking in the abstract - not about anybody on this thread.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 19/02/2011 11:28

FoofySchmoofer and ScramVonChubby ... I'm not referring to the disabled either. If I didn't make that clear then I'm doing that now.

To my mind, your scenarios as you've posted are exactly who the benefit system was set up to provide for. It wasn't set up for those who could work but chose not to... and there are those people around, draining the system.

georgeorwell · 19/02/2011 11:29

but scram the dignity in working and being a member of the working class has been destroyed by the creation of badly paid, precarious, temp jobs with no decent union protection. the working class has been eradicated anyway by this system.

now there's an underclass made up of defeated quite often depressed, rejected, dejected people whose self loathing is fabricated by progs like jeremy kyle, the DM, successive govts etc and then there's a pseudo middle class who think that using balsamic vineger makes them aspirational and superior to the other but they're being shafted just as much.

and i'm of working class origin too but the pride's been knocked out of us. but i will not fall into the trap of blaming the most vulnerable in society for this sorry state. will get off soap box now.

georgeorwell · 19/02/2011 11:30

p.s sorry scram thought ur meds comment was aimed at me. oops!

anythingwithagiraffeonit · 19/02/2011 11:31

Popcrackle... Being on my 4th month of maternity leave is in no way the same as being at home on jsa for years and you know it.

A huge amount of people chose not to work and enjoy a life funded by the government. This is wrong - fact. It is unfair on those of us who work hard to afford what we have, and pay higher taxes due to the state of a country filled with benefit scroungers.

You seem to think there are people on benefits, and there are rich people. This isn't the case... My husband and I work very very hard, long hours. My DH has two jobs. We saved to have a baby... I am entitled to maternity leave because of my length of service toy company... When it finishes, I will use our savings to supplement my DH's income so I can raise my child.

The point I am making is - don't have children if you can't afford them, it's as simple as that.

You can argue until you're blue in the face but at the end of the day you also know that it is wrong.

MrsDrOwenHunt · 19/02/2011 11:31

some people take the piss out of the system and never work and thier children will never work and they live better lives than people that work, some people come from eu countries and claim benefits for dc that dont live in the uk, some people work thier arses off and have done all thier lives and struggle every day, my point is this isnt gonna change anytime soon just coz it annoys us and we moan about it, i have given up arguing about it tbh!!!

ScramVonChubby · 19/02/2011 11:33

I don;t blame the most vu;nerable either George: quite the reverse, I fight fopr the.

But I bleive there is still much dignity out there,. i see it in my family all the time.

I don;t do ssnide, sorry if you took it like that- quite beyond me to fathom snide tbh. A big problem in MN world Wink

georgeorwell · 19/02/2011 11:34

"SOME PEOPLE TAKE THE PISS AND NEVER WORK AND THEIR CHILDREN WILL NEVER WORK...

you talking about the royal family??

popcrackle · 19/02/2011 11:35

Foof thank you for your post.

Scram the point you mention about the dignity of work is very key. I think that is why I have got so upset with regards to the comments from others.

I'm actively looking for work after taking time out from work to be a SAHM. I have never been unemployed before and it is such hard work currently looking for employment. But I get up every day and apply for jobs, I go out and visit people Monday to Friday. I realise that I am very fortunate as I have had a long career history where I have been able to build up good savings. I will add that I do not claim any benefits at the moment (other than child benefit for my baby) because I have enough but I would not judge for a second anyone who needed to claim benefits.

In my search for work I have met a wide variety of people who are unemployed at events.
People who get up every day and apply for jobs, I met one man who has applied for 350 jobs so far. Now stop back and think about the cost of getting 350 job applications out, going to interviews, arranging child care etc etc. I meet people who have the unfortunate scenario of being made redundant twice. These people so want to work. And some of them only tell them your stories when they know yours, and they tell them quietly, with real pain on their face, because they are well aware of how the media and some sections of society likes to tell them what a burden they are.

gysela · 19/02/2011 11:42

You seem to think there are people on benefits, and there are rich people. This isn't the case...
LMAO! This is exactly the case! You can get rich by tax evasion. Its a perfectly legal way to get rich. Sorry giraffe you choose to work your arse off and pay high taxes and look down your nose at people on benefits. Try looking up at the peopole pissing on you by running away with the money by not paying taxes....but that's too uncomfortable isnt it?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 19/02/2011 11:45

What about the people who just (for the sake of generalising) a daily 9-5 slog? Perhaps they get paid enough to pay the mortgage/rent, childcare, modest grocery bills, insurances, etc. but don't have much left for anything else? They're not rich by any stretch of the imagination but they're not on benefits* either.

  • over and above the benefits available for all of those with children.
popcrackle · 19/02/2011 11:47

Giraffe Part of your life is funded by the government, now I know you don't get it but it is.

Now, it is evident that your Film degree did not allow any time for study on economics, finance or media studies, but don't come on here being all high and mighty because you have in the past worked so bloody hard and you are only 4 months (that is 4 months) on your maternity leave and you've got some Film degree that supposedly makes you special while telling other people to get a "fucking job".

Do you think we might all pay higher taxes because of the massive tax avoidance of people, like those who work in TV Land? But don't come on here telling other people to get a fucking job ok and don't come on here bleating about "benefit seekers" or "benefit scroungers" and moaning that they inflate prices.

gysela · 19/02/2011 11:53

LMAO at benefit scroungers inflating prices....dont blame Giraffe, afterall a degree in film doesnt involve the definition of inflation.

anythingwithagiraffeonit · 19/02/2011 12:03

You are all completely hilarious...

I'm at my parents house reading this aloud and you have us in hysterics.

Being on maternity leave is not the same as being on job seekers allowance.

A lot of people on JSA aren't actually seeking jobs.

Those people are a complete drain on the country.

These are facts.

My degree has nothing to do with my ability to see these facts for what they are. I understand that you can't seem to get over it but I only brought it up in response to someone calling me uneducated.

And sorry - but I do completely disagree with people having children that they can't financially support - it is wrong, and again, a complete drain on resources.

popcrackle · 19/02/2011 12:11

Wow so your parents also think it is appropriate for you to tell people to "get a fucking job". Your words, not mine.

I bet they get a warm fuzzy feeling about how well they have raised their daughter and how educated she is and how she might just one day add to the media landscape. Hmm Hmm Hmm

Don't get old like them Giraffe, or sick, or lose your job now, or have a baby that get's sick now, or have a partner that leaves you, you don't want to be a drain now, do you.

anythingwithagiraffeonit · 19/02/2011 12:17

My parents are both 50... They both work full time jobs and contribute to a private pension that will enable them to enjoy retirement. I know they are entitled to state pension but they will not have to rely on it.

I'm going to go now and spend some quality time with my husband.

The weekends are the only time we get you see...

He has to work hard all week, and pay massive taxes to support people like you.

Bye... I have to go wash my Porsche! Lol

GabbyLoggon · 19/02/2011 12:33

Broadly speaking live your own life. And you have given too much info in case they read mumsnet. (Is it a fictional story?)

Not invalid if it is; but nice to level with posters(

MarioandLuigi · 19/02/2011 12:50

Gabby, finally a post that makes sense Wink

GabbyLoggon · 19/02/2011 12:59

What makes sense Luigi is a matter of opinion.
I dont think Camerons government makes moral sense.

And I think you need to study..humour, philospy and good manners...and then come back and tell us what you,ve picked up .(Not Clamydia, I hope.)

cheers "Gabby"

popcrackle · 19/02/2011 13:01

Actually Giraffe Gabby is right. I was not asking for your life story. I think your views are hideous but you might want to think more carefully when you post on mumsnet.

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