to be absolutely furious to receive a letter from the LA informing me my daughter is overweight

[fuckadoodledo]

They were all weighed at school a few weeks ago,I thought for a confidential survey, but I've received a useless patronising letter informing me cheerily she is in the overweight group, with a ridiculous flyer asking "Hands up who wants healthy kids??"
My daughter is TEN, her body is in complete changeover from puberty she's solidly built but not fat, and I already spend too much time reassuring her she is NOT fat.
My DS in London's son has also been weighed, How many millions must this pointless exercise have cost? And to what purpose???
She would be absolutely devastated to be told she is officially overweight....

YANBU. I have told DS's school I do not want him being weighed / measured etc for precisely this reason - I have heard of it happening to several children who, like your daughter have a solid build - or in one case, it is completely inexplicable, as the mother had been told by her doctor her daughter was almost underweight

YABU... She's overweight. Call it 'solid' if you like. You don't have to make a big deal of it or make her feel unhappy and you're clearly already aware that she's on the heavy side but too many people have their heads in the sand and do nothing at all.

Wow that's ridiculous. Sadly I know of two friends one with a 5 yr old and one with a 12 yr old who have also been told their DD are 'overweight' and I have watched both these two settle into themselves over a year or two and they are DEFINTELY not suffering from weight problems.

Don't tell her. If she is slightly over weight maybe gently get her being a bit more active and have a chat about nutrition? When I hit puberty I put on a huge amount of weight (not that I wasn't very active) but because I was eating for England. I really and truly wish someone had very sensitively nudged my eating habits in the right direction then.

These surveys can be useful. Helps to catch those slipping into anorexia sometimes.

I saw a 5 year old trying to run yesterday and it was heartbreaking. She was too big to run properly.

I dont know if the excercise is pointless. Child obesity is on the increase in many European countries, Britain and Norway included.

There is a pilot project here (in Norway) where the kids in secondary come to school 1 hour early 3 days per week for an additional hour of PE, mainly circuit training. In primary, they have one hour of hip hop and one hour of baseball extra after school, for the same reason.

Children sit still a lot more than before, they are interested in nintendos, tv, pc games, etc.

Any stocky child is a potential overweight child with bad eating habit and a passive life.

Imagine the cost of making seats in airplanes larger, ambulances bigger, etc, to cater for an ever growing population, who eat the same amount of calories as their grandparents did, but sit on their arses a lot more. Be it in an office job, or sitting for hours receiving learning.

In my honest opinion, dont feel patronized, be glad that the issue is tackled nationwide, and it is not only your daughter who gets such a letter.

I think schools should concentrate on the education side of things and leave the parenting to the actual parents. Think it is fine to discuss healthy food and benefits of exercise, but anything else is beyond their remit.

It is especially annoying when they cancel PE for weeks in order to practise school plays, or sell off playing fields, then lecture parents about overweight kids.

YABU too many parents are blind to the fact their children are overweight and are doing them no favours if they continue to encourage overeating/lack of exercise.

You don't have to tell her about the letter or upset her though.

YANBU!!! And as for the patronising leaflet, "Hands up who wants Healthy Kids" well, its laughable!

but to what extent does this help anything? I'm watching from the sidelines regarding her weight, encouraging healthy eating and exercise, Why spend millions of public money on such a useless exercise?
If peoples heads are in the sand a standardised letter and cheery flier aren't going to pull them out..

Don't show her the letter, then .
DS is "solid".
In my mind that means he's prone to being plump.
So I have to watch his activity levels and calorie intake. I wouldn't worry him with it except in the context of telling him he needs to have 'healthy' habits.
Tell us the numbers, OP. Height, kg, BMI.

YANBU. Some people really do have heavy bones.

In my early twenties I had anorexia, and was seriously underweight for a couple of years. Even half-starved, I never weighed less than 10st. A healthy weight for me is around 11 1/2st, which would be overweight for most women of my height (5ft 8). I think the LA are being daft here.

OTOH, if you've just got mummy goggles on and are determinedly ignoring your DD's burgeoning bingo wings, that's another matter...

Darn, just noticed time, going to have to go, interested to hear other comments when I get back though...

The issue is not being tackled though. They have just sent her a letter. Either she is already aware that her daughter might be at risk of being overweight, and is encouragin her to be active and eat healthily, in which case the letter does fuck all good, or the OP has her head completely in the sand and is ignoring the problem, in which case the letter does fuck all good.

I'm in favour of practical ways to encourage children to be more active and to eat healthily, but not at this sort of pointlessness.

What Reality said.

I reckon that for every outraged parent who resents being patronised, there will be another parent who really isn't aware that their child is too heavy -- but will be motivated to do something about it to see it in print.

My mate is shorter than me, outwardly larger than me but weighs 2 stone less than me. I comfort myself with the fact that I'm told I have very dense bones and am unlikely to ever suffer from osteoporosis.

They told my mate her DD was too tall......not ure what they wanted my mate to do about it

SURE

There was a thread on here just yesterday with a lady asking whether to tell her mate her dc were very overweight. You have been given the opinion of someone who in a professional capacity has deemed it appropriate to tell you this through a letterr- it's up to you to decide what to do with this. You say she's "solidly built"- you should be able to clearly see a healthy ten year old's ribs. Only you know your daughter, but at least look at the letter with the purpose it was intended, not to offend, but to help.

She's 4' 9 weighs seven stone, which apparently gives her a BMI of 94...

agree with ragged

YABU. We had a similar letter a few years ago when dd was in reception and I was angry, embarrassed, outraged etc. I was lucky enough to be friends with the woman who was in charge of the whole thing in our area (a paedeatric clinical dietician, not just some pen-pushing busybody). We chatted it over and it made me realise that actually, dd was perhaps a bit plumper than she could have been and so without discussing it with her changed her eating patterns a little with the aim of her not putting on more weight and 'growing into' the weight she already had iyswim. Apparently as a society, our view of what is 'normal' has been skewed because children are generally getting larger and so what looks normal to us is very often overweight and what looks skinny is a healthy weight.

Don't tell her about it but try to make some changes anyway. When I was at school there were a few solidly built kids . . . all who turned into fat adults!

If you are having to reassure her that she's not fat that suggests that she thinks she is so I don't think it would be a bad thing to talk sensitively to her about healthy eating and exercise.

Definitely not to make her feel that she needs to diet but to help her to know what's best. You're in charge of what she eats so you can make changes without her knowing.

And don't tell her about the letter. It annoys me when parents go to the papers (not suggesting you would do that) to complain about how bad their child feels to be called fat - if you don't them, they won't know.