to be absolutely furious to receive a letter from the LA informing me my daughter is overweight

[fuckadoodledo]

They were all weighed at school a few weeks ago,I thought for a confidential survey, but I've received a useless patronising letter informing me cheerily she is in the overweight group, with a ridiculous flyer asking "Hands up who wants healthy kids??"
My daughter is TEN, her body is in complete changeover from puberty she's solidly built but not fat, and I already spend too much time reassuring her she is NOT fat.
My DS in London's son has also been weighed, How many millions must this pointless exercise have cost? And to what purpose???
She would be absolutely devastated to be told she is officially overweight....

Hey
Yes, I think you are being a little bit unreasonable, although I understand why you are upset by it. People today have got a different idea about how heavy children should be at a certain age. Our perceptions have changed because there are more overweight people around us. Therefore, most of the parents of overweight children don't see that there is a problem. Thus, the govt has started telling them.

Having said all that, not sure how happy I'd be about getting a letter. Not the most sensitive way to deliver such news. Perhaps you could suggest to the school that this is something to be addressed? Perhaps at a parent teacher meeting or something? But I absolutely would not tell your daughter about the letter. x

OP- are the rest of your family 'solid'? What are other family members' BMIs?

If you are feeling so aggreived that your DD has bee called fat, is it because you are more so? I can understand how that might be upsetting.

If DD is getting 5x 30 mins of vigourous exercise a week and is eating lots of veg and vv little junk/sweets/friend food etc then she is fine. If she has bad habits, though, you have to address these now or she will end up an overweight/obese adult and could have a much reduced life expectancy.

ha ha ha ha ha....just did a BMI calculation on ds1...

"Based on the height and weight entered, the BMI is 21.2 , placing the BMI-for-age at the 89th percentile for boys aged 11 years 2 months. This child is overweight"

God this is horrific, I dread sending my kids to school

do they weight them all in same room? sorry digressing slightly

I wouldnt tell her about the letter, but little changes, weely shop change little things
more exercise etc. If it is just puberty, you have to make an informed choice

How on earth is tackling obesity 'horrific'? No they don't weigh them all in the same room by the way and parents are allowed to refuse their children to be weighed if they choose.

Would you prefer the government just hid their heads in the sand and let the obesity pandemic continue?

Not only do they have to try to do something about it if parents won't, but they also need to find out just how bad the problem is, in order to know how much money they'll need to set aside to deal with the health problems it causes.

YABU, they're just providing you with information. If you don't think there's a problem, or the letter doesn't tell you anything you didn't already know, then you're free to ignore it.

Do be honest with yourself about her weight though. Also I think girls can undergo puberty early because of being overweight, so the cause and effect may be the other way round from what you think IYSWIM?

Of course someone has to be in the higher percentiles, that's just how statistics work! So if you think she's fine, then there's no problem, is there? You certainly don't have to show her the letter or upset her by telling her she's 'overweight'.

Also I think it's easy to forget that children are not supposed to have the same BMI or shape as adults. Her BMI would be fine for a grown woman (it's about the same as mine as it happens - but then I'm 30 so am allowed to have a bit more of a 'womanly' figure!). Similarly comparing her size with Kylie Minogue for example is meaningless as KM is not a 10 year old child.

I can see why you'd be a bit upset and defensive on her behalf, but if she is a bit on the heavy side, surely it's better to know that, so you can consider whether to make subtle changes to her diet and steer her away from adult obesity.

Tryharder, I'm almost exactly the same weight and height as you, and yet I'm in a 12-14 rather than your size 10. I agree that you are probably heavy boned. I probably have gracile bones and being in the healthy weight category on the BMI is misleading for me. A lot of the weight I'm carrying must be fat.

If people can actually, seriously call it "horrific" then there's no wonder there are so many fat kids around.

THAT'S depressing.

I had this with DD2 and was more annoyed with myself for ignoring what I had suspected may have been a problem for so long and allowing people like my well-intentioned MIL to make me think it was just a little bit of puppy fat and would all go away (it didn't). I'm quite fed up with so many people dismissing being overweight as nothing more than an image issue and terrified to address it in case they cause the overweight person to become anorexic. I have had this argument many times with MIL who refuses to acknowledge that anorexia is a mental illness manifested in body issues rather than an alternative to obesity. Obesity is at epidemic proportions and we do need to address it - not just get 'furious' because a doctor tells you your child is overweight, however upsetting you may find it.

There is no such thing as a fat skeleton

According to bospa

Height 4 ft 7 in = m
BMI = 23 kg/m2

I've been looking at the WHO centile charts for girls. As I don't know if this girl is just ten, or nearly 11, I might be a little bit out.

But a weight of 7 stone is well over the 90th centile (and is probably the 94 figure given). This would not be a problem if she were also on the same cent for height (it would simply indicate a large child).

But 4ft9 is around the 70th centile. This is a clear difference, and an indicator for overweight/obesity.

Puberty may be a confounder, if weight gain has accelerated before growth in height. But right now there is a mismatch.

I think it's absolutely right not to draw this to her attention, but is something that does merit attention from the sidelines (IYSWIM).

Good point from Grumpyoldhorsewoman re overweight being more than an image issue.

As a v. fat teenager I had lots of friends, a healthy social life and no body-image issues. (Possibly because I wasn't terribly grown-up for my age and was more into reading and music than getting a boyfriend.) However, I also had high blood pressure, stretchmarks, migraines and low energy levels.

There's all kinds of physical problems associated with being overweight. I wouldn't wish any of them on my own DD.

I think it's the manner in which the letters are sent and the patronising nature of them that needs to be addressed. But, YABU - schools are for education AND the well-being of the pupils. If they notice a problem then they should act.

"solid" is definitely a word used meaning "fat". Wouldn't show letter to dc - that would be irresponsible. I presume it was addressed to you not dc?!

YABU she is overweight - what are you going to do about it? Ignore the letter addressing this issue and tell yourself she is "solid".

People who think a weight check for children is "horrific", well

Grumpyoldhorsewoman - that's reminded me that my friend (with the whale for a daughter) ACTUALLY said once, when we were discussing her "plumpness", that she "...can't really say too much because I don't want her taking it too far and becoming anorexic"

Believe me, this girl could live off her own fat for 7 months. The possibility of Anorexia is the LEAST of her problems

My dd who is 6 was classed as overweight.
The difference between her and a child classed as 'normal weight' is 1 lb, so she's right on the borderline.
She has maintained this centile from birth (as a breast fed baby). Her health visitor and subsequently the school nurse and our gp agree that she is fine, but the letter warning of future heart disease was still sent to me because it's computer generated.
I feed her the same as her twin brother, but he hasa very different build and is on the 50th centile -and has been from birth too!
She has the same amount of swimming/football/walking to school as he does too.
I don't worry about her, but I do worry about parents with a dd like mine who may,as a result of this letter, put their dd on a cottage cheese diet and feed them 'low fat' sugar laden crap as a result of this and potentially give their child an eating disorder.

I think this needs to be run by the school nurse who can give individual advice and not just sent to every child over a certain line.

As it happens my dd seems to be stretching out and has dropped just below the line, but that's nothing to do with me changing her diet or exercise-it's remained the same.

I used to work with a child who was v overweight to look at and was certainly a stocky boy. He was the same height as me & when he was weighed ge came in at 2st lighter and actually light for his height. This was due to him having v little muscle

I've run her details through a children's BMI checker.

Her BMi suggests she may be overweight, and the result isn't borderline, it's well into the overweight range.

She might be chubbing up for puberty or just a growth spurt - this happens to a lot of children.

I'd suggest subtly tweaking her diet along the low fat road - she can still eat to satisfy herself, and will not suffer hunger or malnutrition, but will not remain overweight for long.

Can I reiterate I would not show it to her of course!!
And for others speculation that I may be denying my own weight problems, I am and always have been a sie 12
My main point was that it is such a pointless expensive exercise, if a child / family has serious weight issues then surely a standard letter and cheery flier are not going to suddenly make them realise?
At a time when the country is being forced to cut back so bloody drastically, surely the money would be better spent on reinstating the free swimming for kids/ more park/recreation facilities

MillyR, the height/weight that I quoted was me pre-children. I'm not a size 10 anymore [laughs hollowly]

Well, that depends on whether you're going to continue to furiously declare that she's not overweight, she's solid.

She's quite clearly rather overweight, although not in the danger zone, and probably won't remain so as you seem tuned in to a healthy lifestyle..

But this letter has possibly made you think about her weight, so is having the intended effect.

Yes, but it is hopefully having an effect if it makes some people realise that their children are overweight.

You started this thread by obviously being unaware that your child is overweight. I've just looked up the BMI child calculator myself, and this places your child as clearly being overweight - not even borderline. Now that might well be because she is as you say 'solid' but solid is just the type of overweight she is. Being solid does not stop her being overweight.

I really hope that you are able to see this, and make subtle changes for your daughter. By the sounds of it, your daughter might already suspect there to be a problem. Now is the time to act.

And if you do, then the Govt has done a great job and saved themselves potentially millions in the future from helping to educate parents to prevent all the long term health risks that come from being overweight.

Prevention rather than cure in my book.

Incidentally, whilst I wouldn't care to speculate on your weight, I am a size 12 and I'm (just) overweight and dieting adopting a healthy lifestyle . It really is scary how little you have to weigh to be overweight. I think we're (as a society) getting so used to seeing bigger people these days that we just can't see the issues with just being overweight (as opposed to Obese) any more.

And good luck.