to be absolutely furious to receive a letter from the LA informing me my daughter is overweight

[fuckadoodledo]

They were all weighed at school a few weeks ago,I thought for a confidential survey, but I've received a useless patronising letter informing me cheerily she is in the overweight group, with a ridiculous flyer asking "Hands up who wants healthy kids??"
My daughter is TEN, her body is in complete changeover from puberty she's solidly built but not fat, and I already spend too much time reassuring her she is NOT fat.
My DS in London's son has also been weighed, How many millions must this pointless exercise have cost? And to what purpose???
She would be absolutely devastated to be told she is officially overweight....

Yabu. She's over weight.

YAB a bit U.

There's been some interesting research which shows that mothers tend to underestimate their child's weight and continue to overfeed children who are already overweight.

Some pps have already told personal anecdotes in line with this finding. I've also seen it happen in real life in my own family. I went from being 5 stone at age 10 to being well in excess of 11 stone by age 15.

Despite the difficulty getting school uniform and my developing high blood pressure and stretch marks etc.. my mother genuinely couldn't see anything wrong. She was even angry at a family member who tried to (gently) talk to me about my weight. It wasn't until I went to university that I was able to take full control of my own lifestyle and exercise down to a healthy weight. I don't blame her - it was like an urge to care for and feed me which went into overdrive.

I definitely wouldn't show your DD the letter but I don't think you should dismiss her being overweight from your own mind as a possibility. Check out the NHS website, look at the facts and act on them if you need to do so.

''She would be absolutely devastated to be told she is officially overweight...'' so how bad will she feel if you do nothing and she actualy is overweight. It's a letter telling you the results, that's it. No accompanying referrals, telling offs, nothing. Just bin it if you don't believe it.

Apologies if I am repeating someone, haven't read whole thread.

Being on the 94th centile is not necessarily a bad thing; 10yo girls are at very different stages of development - some have started puberty, some have not. If she is a lot more developed than a lot of her peer group then she would naturally be a bit heavier and so I don't think there is anything to worry about. That would not be overweight for an adult woman so if she is well on her way to having an adult body then that weight is no problem as far as I can see.

Got a very similar letter about my DD1 when she was about 11 - basically telling me she was heavier than most of her classmates. Since at that point she had D-cup boobs and was the tallest gall in her class, I decided I wasn't that bothered. She is now a slim, gorgeous 18yo proud mummy with absolutely no weight problems whatsoever.

However, I still think it is important for DCs to lead a healthy lifestyle for reasons other than weight.

I think you need to re-read the letter. If it says 94, I think you will find it is 94th percentile which probably means her BMI is in the highest 6% so compared to her peers she is overweight solid

I didn't mean that my DD is a proud mummy btw, meant that I was HER proud mummy. Forgot that putting *s round things made it bold on here, haven't been on for a while

I do not see the point. I remember being weighed and people teased kids who weighed the most, whether they were overweight or not.

And yes people have different builds, muscle weighs more.

My sister was supposedly "solid" - she actually now is very skinny I think she got paranoid from school weighing.

what togarama said

you're obviously furious, no wonder- no-one likes to see something like this, in black and white

but when the red mist drops, you might well think there is a bit of truth in it. It's difficult to spot (I know this) when your kids gain in weight, because you see them every day and it's a gradual process. And- although very annoying- an objective outside opinion can help

(I speak as one whose previously very skinny and active son can no longer squeeze into his proper age jeans- and am realising that he squanders his pocket money on chips on the way home. rrrrrr)

...oh, and what everyone else said about not telling her!

YABU unreasonable. the fact that she is "only 10" makes it all the more worrying. children are less likely to be overweight than adutls because 1)they are usually more active 2) they have had fewer years to acquire the weight from excess calories.

i'm sure it was a bit of a shock and possibly the delivery and tone could have been better but if i were you i'd be grateful for the information.

it means you can do something about it.

popcrackle, maybe the fact she is not overweight now has something to do with being weighed in school and watching what she eats/exercising.

maybe she is someone who could have gone either way

Hmm.

I just did the NHS bmi calculator for my DS who is 9 and 4' 10'' and weighs 8 kilos less than your DD. He's apparently in 67th % for BMI.

Tbh if he weighed 8 kg more than he does now, he would be quite chubby, so unless your DD has very dense bones/very broad frame/is very very muscular she does seem to be a bit overweight.

I absolutely don't agree that just because a child is on the 94th percentile, that makes him or her overweight. One or two posters have said that and it is not true at all. The percentile charts do not take into account bone mass, or height.

My DS1's letter when he was 5 indicated that he was in the healthy weight range but only by about 2 lbs or so (i.e if he were 2 lbs heavier, he would be overweight.). Crap. He's so slim, you can see all his bones, concave chest, absolutely flat stomach, slim arms and legs...). But he's a head taller than anyone else in his class and probably takes after me for bone density i.e I am 5'9" and pre kids, I was a size 10 - I still weighed 11 and a 1/2 stones.

I was whippet thin as a child and am overweight now.

Ds, who's 8 is very "solid", by that I mean that if you measured his ribcage/chest/pelvic bones circumference compared to other children the same age he'd be inches larger. He's reasonably tall for his age plus definately has a larger head than the average child in his class. He does have a small amount of puppy fat and we are keeping up the various weekly sports activities/adding to them wherever possible. He loves his food and will ask for more all the time, I feel mean and don't want to create a secretive binging mentality when he is away from our guidance but there's only so much exercise we can fit in to counter any overeating.

Solid, to me, means bigger framed than the average child and bigger children (even those with not an ounce of fat) weigh more, simples !

There are therefore bound to be anomalies and if you are keeping a covert eye on your dd weightwise, you'll probably know when to step in once puberty effects ahve run theri course.

Sorry, he's in fact just 4'9''-so the same as your DD, and weighs 5st8.

The fact that she is in the 93 centile is probably because she is going through puberty when the majority of girls her age are not. Her BMI sounds healthy to me and is probably the same height and weight that my DD was at her age. She went through puberty much earlier than 90% of her peers.

Now much older she is probably 50% for height and 75% for weight, so not the skinniest amongst her friends and although she is starting to watch weight and increasing activity atm she is still a perfectly healthy weight.

Try harder- but the BMI charts do take height into consideration.

My DS is off the charts for weight (or was at 8yo), but then is(was) also off the charts for height (French ones, mind you, people tend to be shorter here).

It would be silly to just look at his place on the weight chart without looking at his height.

But the BMI, even if not perfect, I agree, does look at the height.

My friend's daughter (at 15) is a huge, morbidly obese blob and my friend still refers to her (whether she's there or not) as "plump" or "a bit big".

She's been tested for Thyroid problems and the tests came back as "Borderline" which means "Not much drastically wrong" and she hasn't been put on medication but my friend still blames "Thyroid Problems" for her daughter's fatness.

If you're sure she isn't fat, then throw it in the bin and ignore it but ask yourself honestly if they might have a point. Mummy goggles can be awfully thick...

Although looking at a growth chart she's around 75th for height and over 80th for weight so not such a huge disparity between the two

YABU

Your dd is overweight. As is mine.

I'm doing everything I can to encourage her to eat sensibly and to exercise.

There are some very overweight kids on dh's side of the family. My SIL's have always described them as 'big' or 'solid'. Actually they are carrying too much weight around their middles. As is my dd.

Helping your children manage their weight can't be done if you won't acknowledge there's a problem in the first place.

YANBU, as with adults children can be 'solidly' built but are not fat. RealityIsKnockedup, although you're suspicious of the truth of this your comments about your own weight compared to your sisters actually prove the point that peoples' weight can't always be used to confirm whether they're fat. On paper someone who weighs 10 stone and is 5 ft 3 is not small and I wouldn't imagine they could be a size 10. I am 5ft 6 and pre pregnancy was 10 stone 4 pounds and was a size 14. However, you are obviously not overweight if you're size 10. Surely, the OP's daughter is of a similar build to yourself despite her weight suggesting otherwise?

Sorry - should add, if your child has excess weight around their middle, then they are overweight, whatever her BMI.

Has she got blubber around her middle?

Mine has, though over all she's not huge.

The blubber has to go.

Some mothers believe their children are not overweight when the weight shows otherwise.

Some mothers are fat themselves and don't see it, so when they feed their children they feed them too much.

Check your child's BMI if it is too high then she clearly is overweight and you should be feeding her more healthly.

Far too many obese people walking about who care not about their appearance, whose health suffers as a result costing the NHS more money.

There is no excuse for fat, I've just lost two stone, and have another stone to go.

Im not fatist Im a realist.

Feed her less and cut out the shit.

My worse ever nightmare was having fat kids, always worried about it, thank god they are slim.

im not being funny but if your worst ever nitemare is having fat kids then u have your priorities all mixed up!