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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

not to answer the door or phone if I dont feel like it

156 replies

thefruitwhisperer · 17/02/2011 12:18

Sometimes I cant be fucked. I do however always call the person back when I can be bothered to talk, normally within an hour or so.

DP thinks Im an abomination.

OP posts:
dotnet · 18/02/2011 19:26

Same thing happened at my house as happened to Callow. Banging on the door... ignored it - (had just come out of shower). Then a crashing - ran into corridor & saw prospective burglar on his hands and knees; he'd crawled in via the broken down bottom half of the door!

He turned and fled. It'd have been a lot worse if no-one had been at home. Still, the door had to be replaced, which was a lot of hassle and annoyance (and expense.)Answering the door would have saved a lot of angst...

eden263 · 19/02/2011 01:11

Bunbaker - yes, I do! I'm home a lot in the daytime ATM and I'll get between 5 & 10 'junk' calls on an average day, every day, either where they hang up as soon as you answer, hang up as soon as the answer machine starts or start speaking in barely coherent English if I do answer (and no I'm not racist at all, before anyone pounces, they just employ people with a poor command of their second language). I'm registered with the TPS so I hate to think how many I'd get otherwise. I don't give my number out to strangers, but someone I have dealings with must sell it a lot. Angry

I do answer the door 99% of the time though as it's often the postie. Annoyingly, someone up the road must have the same wireless doorbell as me though because often my bell will go and there's no-one there! And it's not kids as there's never anyone in sight!

cece · 19/02/2011 01:22

I regularly don't answer the phone. If I am upstairs or doing something else I let the answer phone take the message. If they don't leave a message then it is either unimportant or they will phone back.

I never do 1471 as I am not interested enough to find out who was trying to get hold of me.

Same with missed calls of unrecognosed numbers on my mobile. Just ignore them.

nappyaddict · 19/02/2011 01:36

Those of you who don't answer the door is your living room at the front of your house though? My living room window is right next to the front door so anyone knocking on the door can see into the living room.

aurynne · 19/02/2011 06:22

The few times I had to knock at a neighbour's door uninvited was to warn them of something they would rather know about ASAP. In one case, their roof drain had broken and water was pouring onto their garage. In other case, a postie had left a parcel for them out in the rain. A month ago I was walking th dog and I noticed a neighbour had left their car door wide open.

For the ones of you that refuse to acknowledge a knock at the door... how exactly do you expect to get told if something is happening? What if there was some danger? What if a neighbour had seen a room in your house catching fire? What if it is the police coming to tell you your DH has been in an accident?

Bunbaker · 19/02/2011 08:43

I agree with aurynne. I once had to knock on a neighbour's door to tell them that their pet guinea pig was running about on the road, and another neighbour to say that their dog had got out. Luckily none of my friends and neighbours are miserable and unsociable and will answer the door/phone. I only ring mobiles or text as a last resort because it costs more.

I presume that those of you who never answer the phone during the day don't have children at school. If something had happened to DD at school I would want to know straight away. The school have a policy of always ringing landlines before trying a mobile because it is cheaper.

It had occurred to me that maybe we don't get many nuisance calls because we aren't registered with BT (and we have registered with the TPS) so maybe it is time to change your service provider.

crazycatlady · 19/02/2011 09:53

Well if school/childminder/nanny/whoever needs to contact me they call my mobile or DH's mobile. We don't have a landline - deliberately - we don't need or want one.

I can see out of the house to see who is at the door without having to answer it - if it's a neighbour/police/someone in need/postman with delivery for us, I would answer it of course, anybody else can bugger off.

I have to say though that we have never had anybody knock who has turned out to be in need or highlighting some danger. It is ALWAYS a random door knocker, most of them are people selling sponges I don't want, or trying to recruit me to some evangelical church, sign up for something I don't want or trying to leave packages for neighbours I don't know, so I don't answer.

We live in a street full of terraced houses in inner London. If we lived in a quiet village/suburb I'd probably answer more often.

A slight aside, but perhaps this puts it into perspective how many random people go up and down our street - until we put the 'no junk mail' sign up (which I hate, but needs must) we were getting over 30 pieces of junk mail through our door every day, pizza menus mostly...

Bunbaker · 19/02/2011 10:22

"If we lived in a quiet village/suburb I'd probably answer more often"

We live in a quiet village. The only random walkers in our road are ramblers. Other people walking up and down our road live in the village and are usually walking their dogs or taking their children to/from school - or visiting usSmile

OliveMalay · 19/02/2011 11:59

YANBU. Your door, your choice.

crazycatlady · 19/02/2011 12:44

Sounds lovely bunbaker!

2rebecca · 19/02/2011 23:18

My living room looks out onto the pavement but I have thick nets in that room, only room with nets, so I we can molest each other on the rug in front of the fire without spectators.

Soups · 19/02/2011 23:58

YANBU

I screen calls all the time and have now trained the kids Grin. Most of the time any genuine calls, to the landline, will be my Mum. Or the school but they'll leave a message and then call our mobiles straight after. They're all easy to identify, it's the big MUM, DAD, SCHOOL that comes up on the screen Smile

The rest are sales or courtesy calls. I get quite a few of them, always at the same time, early afternoon or early evening. These days I hate courtesy calls more than sales ones.

Other friends and family tend to text, email, or use my mobile number. Thinking about it, unless they're calling for an immediate request, it's always a text or email.

Recently I've given up ansering the door all the time. Friends and family will tend to call before they pop around, so they'd be expected. Our living room is at the back so I can hide ;) We have a glass window on the door. Sometimes I'll poke my head round into the hall to see if the fuzzy outline (distorted glass) looks like someone I want to talk to. Long gone are the days when I care if they've seen someone in and know they're being ignored.

I'm not unsociable but I am soooo bored of cold calls. Anyone out there who wants me to buy their product, stop cold calls, stop pestering. You go onto my mental list of companies to avoid.

Nearly walked out of friggin PC World the other month. All I wanted to do was buy a netbook and get on with my life. Oh no sales person accompanied me to the tills blathering on about some awful value insurance thing. Said no, that started the pitiful "look I've just been on a Sales course" open quesions. "can I ask you why?". You can but I ain't friggin answering. Hmm PC World you're on my naughty list for several such episodes.

2rebecca · 20/02/2011 21:15

Agree re PC world. We bought the portable we wanted online because we hated the way the PC world guy seemed keener to sell us antivirus softwear we didn't need than the computer.

victoriascrumptious · 20/02/2011 21:51

I hate people calling me or visiting. If I had my way everyone would email with specific headers giving a jist of what they want so I can file the email and read it when I feel like it.

2rebecca · 20/02/2011 22:16

Interesting so many of us are antisocial.
I blame my antisocialness on my job, which is very people orientated and I feel after a day listening to people moaning I need some time away from other people and their wants.
Some of you are at home with just kids all day though, I'd have thought that in that situation I wouldn't mind phone calls and visitors (but not pop ins)but maybe I wouldn't and my job is an excuse.
I'm happy to chat away on here though, although when I get bored it's easy to wander off and do something else.

ilovesooty · 20/02/2011 22:54

YANBU. I frequently refuse to answer the door/phone if I don't feel like talking. I'll call people back as and when I do.

thereisalightanditnevergoesout · 21/02/2011 00:11

I don't like answering the phone anymore - people always ring when I'm giving thekids their dinner or bathing them. I've also changed the answer phone to come on after two rings because the ringing used to wake up the kids.

It really bugs FIL that I don't answer - and he leaves really grumpy messages - the most annoying one was the day that DS2 was born 7 weeks ago. We'd left a message with DH's brother (everyone off there for a family meal) to say that he'd arrived and he rang and understandably we didn't rush to answer (he was born at home, we still had MWs here, the kids, DH and I were all bonding) and there's this grumpy message 'ANSWER THE BLOODY PHONE!' blaring out of the machine. To this day I can't believe he actually left it, or can't understand why we weren't answering.

vickster11 · 21/02/2011 00:19

My home phone is ex directory and we still get the odd calls. I tell them Im not interested and put the phone down I personally cant be arsed with sales calls.

As for sales calls at the door I would love to shut the door on them. My lo finds it fasinating and starts talking to them and pushes me out of the way so he can get closer.(confused)

vickster11 · 21/02/2011 00:20

ops tried to add the face not working

hmc · 21/02/2011 00:22

Grin - just like you the fruitwhisperer and also have a husband who severely disapproves.

Tryharder · 21/02/2011 00:25

I don't answer the landline phone during the day. It's either fucking British Gas or fucking TalkTalk. Or I let DS2 answer it (he's 2) as he likes talking to people on the phone [evil grin emoticon]

MadamDeathstare · 21/02/2011 00:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

freshmint · 21/02/2011 00:57

one of my all-time face things is lying in a hot bubble bath listening to the phone ring... and ring.... and ring....

I hate answering the phone at home

freshmint · 21/02/2011 00:57

fave fave NOT FACE!

cat64 · 21/02/2011 01:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn