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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

not to answer the door or phone if I dont feel like it

156 replies

thefruitwhisperer · 17/02/2011 12:18

Sometimes I cant be fucked. I do however always call the person back when I can be bothered to talk, normally within an hour or so.

DP thinks Im an abomination.

OP posts:

dickiedavisthunderthighs · 17/02/2011 13:43

YANBU whatsoever

I love my friends but I have one or two who will just talk AT me for 25 minutes regardless of what else I am doing so I screen until I am feeling brave/pissed enough to put up with it.

As for the front door, I am not six and therefore do not expect my friends to come and call for me unannounced, therefore I assume that any knocks are sales people or even worse, politicians.

TooManyButtons · 17/02/2011 13:44

Oh wow I thought it was just me that was uber-antisocial! DH can't understand how I can just leave the phone ringing.

I also have a mother who takes it as a personal insult if I don't answer the phone, and will just keep ringing and ringing (I just unplug the phone ) - I mean does it never cross her mind that I might actually be out?

My living room window is next to the front door so people can see me when they knock at the door - I have no problem with just ignoring them. It's my home, and if I don't feel like talking to someone, I won't!

crazypanda · 17/02/2011 13:52

well would you believe it?,lunchtime text abuse,from my ds because he has split his trousers,like this is my fault,how is it that we can get the blame for something,even without being there?

MooMooFarm · 17/02/2011 14:46

Just test back that he shouldn't have such a fat arse

chocadoodle · 17/02/2011 15:07

DH and me decided one day (pre-kids) we were going to have a lazy afternoon watching films. 20 mins into the first one someone knocks on the door, we decided to ignore it. Didn't even bother to get up and look out the window to see who it was. The next thing our phone is ringing, we decided to ignore it. The next thing PIL are standing in our hallway having let themselves in with their emergency key (shock)

They said they knew we were in as our cars were on the drive and were worried we'd both been taken ill (carbon-monoxide poisoning or something like) (hmm)

Me and DH often go out for walks from our house and PIL never ring to say they are coming so how many other times have they let themselves in?

I thought it was quite funny how they then realised we just couldn't be bothered to answer the door, think they took it personally (they jump up every time their phone rings or door knocks) but DH was mortified. He always answers the phone and door now but I still don't if I can't be arsed.

chocadoodle · 17/02/2011 15:08

Aaaggh how do you do them smiley things?

EleanorJosie · 17/02/2011 15:12

Type the words in square brackets as shown.

I pick it up if they ring twice - it might be an emergency. Otherwise they can leave a message. More often than not calls in the evening are marketing or a survey anyway- if it's a mate or family they will leave a message and I'll call them back.

crazycatlady · 17/02/2011 15:17

YANBU.

I always screen my calls and only answer if it's convenient.

I never answer the door unless I'm expecting someone or a delivery. Without fail it is always someone trying to sell me sponges I don't want, ask for yet more charity donations or some other irritation.

CameronCook · 17/02/2011 15:19

Everyone that counts knows we rarely answer our land line so they shout on the answering machine and I pick up if I can be arsed or they try my mobile.

Unfortunately living room window can be seen from drive so I end up feeling obliged to answer door to callers, I have taken to grabbing phone on my way to door and pretending to be in the middle of an important call in the hope that they bugger off

glitteryturd · 17/02/2011 15:36

Lol..I do not answer my door unless it is someone I expect. They can knock, look through Windows, ring the bell all they can but they are knocking on 'my' door in 'my' time. If they don't fit into current plans, they are ignored, simple. If they knock for more than acceptable I will tell them to fuck off. I feel that in my own home that no-one has the right to disturb me.

So never knock on my door lol

lambbone · 17/02/2011 15:36

YANBU in the evenings. You don't have to talk to anyone if you don't want to.

But if you have kids at school, I beg you, during the day, pick up the bloody phone! If you've given the school your mobile number, keep it switched on and answer the bloody thing!

(You've guessed, I work at a school )

Lost count of the number of times we've had some poor kid sat for hours with his/her head in a bucket because we can't get hold of anyone to take him/her away.

And if the person on the phone is not someone you want to talk to - you mumsnetters know what to do

starfishmummy · 17/02/2011 15:43

MIL thinks I am awful because I don't leap up and answer the phone the second it rings (even if IO am in the middle of a meal). Told her that is why we have an answer phone. So all her messages have snarky little - are you there comments on.
It annoys her. It is great!!

lololizzy · 17/02/2011 15:51

there's been a similar thread to this before and the gist was that it's an older generation thing, ie being slave to the phone. My parents will never ever not answer, even though they have an answer machine. I find this rude when having family meals etc. They find it rude when i don't answer my mobile even though i'm in their company! Which is odd as you'd think the opposite wouldn't you.
If i'm at theirs and they are out for the eve they get narky with me for not answering the phone for them! even though the messages get picked up.

JamieLeeCurtis · 17/02/2011 15:54

YANBU - I'm surprised so many of you agree too. When I recently admitted this to some of my friends they thought I was weird, possibly rude. My mum also does not understand it at all

I rarely answer the phone. I do answer the door more often though

darleneconnor · 17/02/2011 16:00

Another advantage of living in a flat...

I never answer my door unless I'm specifically expecting someone. I find ringing the door bell very intrusive.

I also dont answeer the landline.

My mobile, if I hear it and get to it in time I usually answer but not to unknown numbers.

usualsuspect · 17/02/2011 16:05

I always answer the door and phone

cheekeymonkey · 17/02/2011 16:15

I had a sign printed off Martin Lewis website which announce 'No Cold Callers',therefore I thought I was safe to answer the door next time the bell went, only to be confronted be a salesperson who didn't know what a cold caller was! Nothing against salespeople - I am one.

LindyHemming · 17/02/2011 16:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

starfishmummy · 17/02/2011 16:29

Ha Cheekkey - we used to have a notice too (ours was a very superior plastic one screwed to the door by the previous owners!!) and sales people would call, point to it and then tell me why it didn't mean "them"!

2rebecca · 17/02/2011 16:32

I usually answer the door but don't have relatives who "pop in" and do do online shopping and don't want to miss parcel delivery.
I regularly don't answer the phone, especially during the day when more cold callers. I don't care if my husband would think this odd. I don't tell him what to do about the door and phone when he's in.

Acanthus · 17/02/2011 16:37

If I have both kids with me, I might not answer. But if I don't, I will always at least run to check the number, even if I decide then not to pick up.

MooMooFarm · 17/02/2011 16:38

chocadoodle that's the problem with emergency keys isn't it? Many years ago when we didn't have anyone to stop us having a lie in, the doorbell was ringing and we were determined to ignore it. It stopped and DH went downstairs (naked) to make me a cuppa. He heard a bang and turned around to see my mum standing there open-mouthed . He didn't care at all, but she was mortified - ha ha.

Afterwards she told me she 'couldn't believe he was standing there with it all out like that'. He is very laid back about body stuff and didn't care at all (he actually said at least now his MIL knows her daughter's getting good value for money - yuk)

MollieO · 17/02/2011 16:39

I don't answer the door unless I'm expecting someone or a delivery. I also rarely answer the phone. I have been known to call people back occasionally.

everlong · 17/02/2011 16:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GettinTrimmer · 17/02/2011 16:49

I'm selective about answering the door. I have voiles up and look out of my front window to see who it is. If it's an energy salesman/chugger I pretend I'm not in.

The only problem I've got with people who don't answer their phones is sending irritated/stroppy text messages when it's better to pick up the phone and talk.

I always answer my house phone, but only switch on my mobile to pick up text messages, don't answer it if I don't recognise the number.

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