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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

not to answer the door or phone if I dont feel like it

156 replies

thefruitwhisperer · 17/02/2011 12:18

Sometimes I cant be fucked. I do however always call the person back when I can be bothered to talk, normally within an hour or so.

DP thinks Im an abomination.

OP posts:

pippitysqueakity · 17/02/2011 16:56

Ha! Euphemia, mine too! In fact he would sit with curtains drawn all day, and unless I chiselled them open every so often, would be no open windows either. What is that all about?

MrsSparkle · 17/02/2011 17:00

Why oh why when i have a no sales or charity sign up, do they still knock on my door? WHY?

Bunbaker · 17/02/2011 17:01

We don't get a lot of unexpected callers or phone calls, and OH works from home so not answering the phone is an absolute no-no. I don't not answer the door either because we live a little bit out of the way and we hardly ever get any time wasters. Usually it is a friend or a neighbour and I am always happy to see them.

GoingGrey42 · 17/02/2011 17:08

I feel exactly the same. We do not have to answer our doors or phones if we don't feel like it!!!!!
Why do we feel the need to jump up just because someone has called or knocked. If it's important they'll either leave a message or call back.
Peace and quiet in your own home is a luxury and we all need to remember that...except for the children though lol xxx

redfairy · 17/02/2011 17:15

YANBU
As far as I'm concerned the phone and front door are for MY convenience and no-one elses. I never answer the door and blatently look out of the window then ignore it.
I never answer the phone if my soaps are on and if I dont recognise the number I screen the calls through the answer machine.

Bunbaker · 17/02/2011 17:16

I find it interesting that so many of you won't answer the door/phone. Usually when I ring someone it is because I need to know something about Brownies or school now, not two hours later.

Also, if you don't want cold callers on the phone just register with the telephone prefernce scheme. It does work - this is why we always answer the phone, apart from the fact that it might be more business for OH, it is likely to be a friend or relative.

I'm not as unsociable as most of you either.

Casserole · 17/02/2011 17:17

Definitely not BU. I'd brick up our door and throw out the phone if I could.

Bunbaker, I'm plenty sociable thanks. Have lots of friends and family who I see very regularly and outside interests, etc. But when I'm at home chilling out, that's what I want that time to be about.

2rebecca · 17/02/2011 17:34

I'm on the TPS. It makes no difference, if I'm in during the day they still call.

2rebecca · 17/02/2011 17:37

I would want a key back from these relatives who abuse emergency keys. An emergency key is there for your emergency use if you lock yourself out, not for them to let themselves in when they think you aren't in.

Violet5 · 17/02/2011 17:37

YANBU i do this on a daily basis and my husband is also often horrified too

2rebecca · 17/02/2011 17:38

No older relatives have keys to our house, just the kids

chocadoodle · 17/02/2011 17:38

at MooMooFarm that's brilliant.

Agree with you Casserole about chilling out at home. If I want to see or talk to someone I'd have arranged it for a time when mutually convenient. Not by ringing them obviously

softpaw · 17/02/2011 17:41

i don't answer the doorbell cos i'm on the third floor.and by the time i get down there,the person is gone.
for uninvited canvas/sellers in the evening,i ask for their number so i can call them back at home x

Bunbaker · 17/02/2011 18:02

Casserole How do people arrange to visit you if they can't ring or call?

2rebecca The TPS works only for calls generated in the UK. It might be worth reregistering just to make sure. We very rarely get unwanted phone calls, the only ones we get are those recorded ones that start "Congratulations etc". I just put the phone on the table, walk away and let them chunter on.

You must all get loads more phone calls and house callers than we do to feel that you don't want to answer.

Casserole · 17/02/2011 19:20

Ooh, there are all sorts of newfangled ways Bunbaker, you'd be surprised.

We have a thing called an answering machine, they sometimes leave messages on that. There's a very similar thing on my portable telephonic device called voicemail which has been used from time to text. Sometimes they send me one of those textular messages on my portable telephonic device. Sometimes it is via electronic mail, which I believe the kids know as email these days. Or via a message through something like that Ye Olde Facebooke.

Obviously sometimes we have to resort to pigeons and smoke signals, but not more than once a month or so. It's amazing really...

eden263 · 17/02/2011 19:31

YANBU at all. I get a lot of stick off people because I don't often have my mobile on so once in a blue moon I miss a text or call. My argument is 1) Hardly anyone ever rings or texts it so why would I need it on all the time and 2) Maybe I just don't want to be contactable 24/7.

I virtually never answer the land line straight off, just screen calls, as 95% of the time it's sales. I registered with the TPS but it hasn't made a lot of difference.

Abomination and proud

weefriend · 17/02/2011 19:31

Wow, I can't believe how many people don't answer the door. Explains the neighbour who didn't answer the door as I was knocking after finding her son crying in the street because the friend he'd gone to play with wasn't in and he'd come back to find nobody home. She thought it was funny. And the other neighbour, who I could see was in the house and had lugged round a big parcel for, that had been left with us.

I think it's very rude. Unless you can see who it is and it's someone selling pictures/God/gas/whatever.

Phone doesn't bother me so much since there's nearly always voicemail, although it could be something urgent.

PinkIceQueen · 17/02/2011 19:39

YANBU

Adversecamber · 17/02/2011 19:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DiamondDoris · 17/02/2011 19:47

I often don't answer the phone. I answer the door only because it might be a package from Amazon and swear loudly if it's not.

Some freaks get up to answer the phone while they are eating. Sad.

Bogeyface · 17/02/2011 19:50

There were some guys doing the old "change your electricity supply" thing recently. I saw them several times up and down the road and I couldnt be arsed with them. They were a couple of doors up when I got in and a few minutes later they were knocking on the door so I didnt answer. And they kept knocking and knocking......and knocking. I heard one say "she is in I just saw her go in" so I yelled "YES I AM IN SO IF I AM NOT ANSWERING THE DOOR ITS BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO FUCK OFF!!"

PG hormones coupled with bad day and then throw in a stroppy cold caller = mouthful of abuse from me :o

mummery · 17/02/2011 20:02

I'm so happy to read this thread and find that there are many of us [:)]

I don't answer the door unless expecting a delivery. My phone is unplugged - I check messages periodically and ring back the important ones. I only have a mobile so I can be contacted when DS is at school or if my car breaks down. If neither of these are a factor I have it on silent or leave it at home. I much prefer to text anyway, I don't think very fast (!) and am a much better communicator writing things down.

TabithaTwitchet · 17/02/2011 20:13

YANBU - I have found kindred spirits. I often don't answer the phone, and have my mobile almost permanently switched off and buried at the bottom of my bag.

Once I was breastfeeding DD on the sofa which was next to our front window. A salesman came and knocked on the door, I ignored as DD was in the dropping off to sleep stage of the feed. He had obviously seen me through the window and banged on the door louder. I ignored, he banged again even louder and then came and hammered on the window, gesticulating at me to open the door . I stood up and turned to face him through the window, he saw DD attached to me, turned an interesting shade of red and retreated .

ledkr · 17/02/2011 20:22

yes im glad too,i dont answer my phone after a bout 7 i am scared it will be a yapper.
My dd is 3 wks old and we are still in the period of constant visitors and calls,yesterday and today we had completely unnanounced visits and me and dh have had hardly any time to ourselves.I ended up in tears yesterday as one left another came so asked dh to screen the phonecalls but this involved him answering it and passing it to me
I remember yrs ago sat on sofa ignoring annoying friend at door who then peered thru the window.I just looked at her safe in the knowledge the net curtains meant she couldnt see.I looked thru later to see a pefect view of the sofa as the light had been on all the time,i must have looked mental.

crazycatlady · 17/02/2011 20:23

We don't even have a landline because we can't bear the irritation of cold callers or having to run to see who's calling. Mobiles are so much easier...

And we never bothered putting batteries back in the doorbell when it ran out.

I like a peaceful house.

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