to think that being "likeable" is the greatest asset a person can have?

[StuckinTheMiddlewithYou]

I think that having the ability to make people like you, will do you far more good in life than intelligence or good looks.

Unreasonable?

I have a friend who is excellent at making friends. She has loads of them and she keeps nearly all of them because she is genuinely interested in them and takes the trouble to keep up with them. I used to be envious of her but then realised how much work she actually put into her social life - I couldn't do it!

She IS very likeable but that doesn't mean everybody likes her; she has had some problems with people being really unpleasant to her (possible in at least one case) - but I wouldn't want to be entirely like her, even if it meant more people liked me. For starters, I can't pull off the dappiness at all (and would hate myself if I put it on).

She is certainly not a "pleaser" - she just is like a sun, lots of people are attracted to her for indefinable reasons.

I agree with poster(s) who have said that conmen and abusers etc are 'likeable' or seem so. My mother used to have an expression that someone was 'too good to be wholesome' and I kinda know what she meant.

I like the first day you start a job and first clap eyes on your manager and she's all eyes and teeth and gushing - I always think 'am gonna have trouble with this one'

Its like - even !

Jajas - Sounds like a great way to be to me !

I'm not ambitious either, I see life as more about experiencing things, having good relationships and friendships with others, rather than about achieving things - especially job related, which in my mind is hugely over-rated Still, I like an interesting and valuable job - hopefully helping others, especially children, to get the most out of life too !

In spite of a good life philosophy though, I wish I could stay more cheerful like some of you

What's your secret ?

I've lost the plot - and have found I am much happier without it

I think there's a difference between being likeable and being intrinsically 'good'. Hitler was likeable to a lot of people. Jesus was often very hard to get along with, by all accounts.

Jajas I'm the same...I always say it's an upbringing of brain chemistry, upbringing, and choice. Brain chemistry because this is just how I am, upbringing because my parents were "suck it up and get on with things" people, so as a result I don't spend much time dwelling on the negative, and choice, because, well, I like to be happy. If I'm not, I make steps to rectify it.

Wordfactory I suppose I do have some ambitions- I'd like to write, for instance, and am in talks to do so. (Long story.) And at some point I'd like to travel. But I'm also very content with "good enough". My life is good enough, my house is good enough, my marriage, my son. Things don't have to be perfect for me to be supremely happy. :) I just never wanted to be very very rich or have some high-powered career. I would hate to be a CEO or (shudder) have to wear anything besides jeans and a sweater to work. I work hard at my job (I'm a behavioral aid) and am good at it; many people have told me I should go for my special education license or look into child psychology, but...I don't want to. I'm happy working half days and pottering around at home with my son. Hope that explains me a bit! :)