to think that being "likeable" is the greatest asset a person can have?

[StuckinTheMiddlewithYou]

I think that having the ability to make people like you, will do you far more good in life than intelligence or good looks.

Unreasonable?

i think happy up beat people are likable people. happy people draw lots of others to them. negative people have the opposite effect. i often avoid negative people i find them overbearing and depressing.

being likable and completely agreeable are very different things and often don't go together. being completely agreeable sometimes means door mat. i think you can be likable, opinionated and fun

I have been told in the past I am "too nice" at times, but I'd rather err on the side of niceness myself. It doesn't do well for your self esteem to be a doormat and conceed on things that are important to you, but if something isn't important I just think "Whatever?" But it wouldn't do for my own self-esteem to be deliberately nasty either. I think humility (which doesn't involve being a doormat BTW) is a good quality to have. I generally try to be a decent human being and treat others well.

It depends on the situation.

Being likeable won't get you a degree. It may help you get a job, but even that varies widely.

Socially, it would be helpful.

It may or may not help with this parenting business.

I think in some professions "ruthless" gets you more places than "likeable". You need ambition and confidence to succeed. Very few "likeable" people make it to the very top. Whether being at the top makes you happy or not is a different matter.

OP"I think that having the ability to make people like you, will do you far more good in life than intelligence or good looks."

Do you good in what respect -getting rich? No, honestly I don't think so. If you are constantly concerned about how you appear to people, not ruffling any feathers, never saying anything offensive, you are walking on eggs all through life and stressed out because of it. You will also never be a leader so I don't see how you get rich with it. You are also not doing yourself any favours in terms of developping your own personality. I think if you iron out all your rough spots you just end up insipid and you may not annoy people but you will also not wow them unless you add the main ingredient whihc is always going to be kindness . Likeablity with kindness is ok, likeability without is rubbish really.

What I do think helps you to lead a happy life (if not successful in career terms) is being agreeable which I think of as something quite different. Not many people are really agreeable, most of us spend a lot of time being unnecessarily disagreeable and making a fuss about nothing for some selfish reason or other. I am not agreeabke and when you meet people like that they are so comfortable and easy to be around. I wish more people were like that tbh, myself included

Think i agree OP, if you mean likeable rather than doormat, as others have said.

I suppose part of it is getting along well with others makes you a good manager/leader - you can get others on side, motivated, etc.

I don't know about likeable. I think being dislikeable is a definite disadvantage of course, but I'm not sure that likeable is the right term. Approachable, pleasant, courteous - they are all good but I'm not sure that is the same as being likeable.

I think any society needs a range of different people. We need a good supply of likeable easy-going people, we need a few really fun people and even a few people whose people skills may be non-existent but who can do things that nobody else can.

I'm a fairly big 'people-pleaser', having worked out very early on in life that I benefited when people liked me. I was very definitely encouraged to 'aim to please' by my mum, too, who is a bit of a pushy mother.

However it took me until my early twenties to learn to like myself!! Had relationships with awful men, took loads of crap from employers etc. Eventually (mostly by observing some very good role models I was lucky to have socially and professionally) I realised where the boundaries should lie and learned how to strike a balance between pleasing others and myself. Am really happy now and have a wonderful life.

I'm afraid though I'm with Derek Zoolander on the undoubted benefits of being 'rilly, rilly good-looking' - it helps!

It'd be nice to liked by everyone but ii havent got the time to put the effort in or massage everyones ego's. I am who i am i dont mean any harm and dont set out to dislike anyone but hey we're all different.live and let live. Otherewise get out of my life

Everyone likes my ex. (including me :)) He?s a very popular person and people think him deeply caring and considerate, and can?t understand why he doesn?t socialise with them or anyone. The truth is he has Aspergers up to his back teeth, barely considers or cares at all, and has no idea why people who?s names and life stories immediately fall out of the other side of his head, insist on telling him their problems, but is much to polite to tell them that. He considers his likeability a good safety shield but a curse.

Personally I?ll settle for intelligence over likeability, but consider emotional intelligence pretty essential.

I'll take intelligence and good looks, thanks.

Yes being likeable can help, Chippy.

But it begs the question of "Likeable to who?"

To EVERYONE would be an impossibility;and should not even be tried in my opinion.

However, I do think public manners are not what they used to be. A few polite phrases helps with strangers.

Better than "Hi Cedric, did you get free underfelt with that suit." (typical northern greeting) cheers "Gabby"

Not necessarily. A lot of people will be people pleasers and think that door-mat effect is them being likeable.
Others will put being liked above getting the job done.
Amongst friends and family you'd generally want to be liked but in some circumstances it is far more important and valuable to be respected even though at that moment people won't like you.

Being liked is overrated and very wearing (not that I would know!)
to thine own self be true is more important I think.

Public manners and respect also hugely important.

but likeable? equates to my mind with bland and also mainstream and innoffensive. (Not that I'd suggest being offensive and deliberately provocative are nec good personality traits, but there.)

Yes
This is where Nero was fatally flawed.

The people I like are all lovely -

charming, witty, kind, strong, funny, wise ..

... so I reckon it's a good thing to be likeable

It depends on what you mean by likeable. IME trying to be nice to people gets you absolutely nowhere. I would go as far as saying it gets ground down.

Now if we were to substitute the word "charming" It would open up an interesting can of worms.

well, yes, Lequeen, likeability can be cultivated and abused.

Thats why some people prefer so-called "rough diamonds"

I don't think there's anything wrong with being 'mainstream and inoffensive'. By definition, most people will be 'mainstream'!

Some of the most uninteresting people I've met have been, what I would call 'deliberately alternative' rather than naturally eccentric. And some people who appear mainstream on the surface can be actually quite eccentric when you get to know them.

It does help to be agreable. I generally have a fairly pleasant and positive demeanour. I find it helps. In most places where I deal with strangers I get a good response. On days when I'm in a bad mood and can't be arsed to be friendly I can tell the difference in the response and service I receive in shops.

I think most people like me. But I am crap at friendships - I find the effort to maintain relationships really hard. I make 'friends' then just sort of lose touch. I suspect that makes me the wrong sort of 'nice'.

Any sort of nice is the right sort Ormirian

Sometimes it's hard to keep in touch when friends move on.

Good friends I've had. Good friends I've lost ... Along the way !

Bob Marley - now there's a nice guy - So if it was true for him ...