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Original poster

Poll: Prefer to be called Christian name or Mrs by children

341 replies

Mrsredoneslast · 13/02/2011 10:56

By request.
Do you prefer to be called by your christian name or by your "title"..Mrs, Ms etc...by children (acquiantances's children/ dc's school friends etc)

So which

A)christian name

or

B) "title"
?

OP posts:
MadamDeathstare · 13/02/2011 16:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gramercy · 13/02/2011 16:08

100% A

I am not my mil.

pigletmania · 13/02/2011 16:17

A, B makes me feel old. I have no problem with being called pigletmania,

PercyPigPie · 13/02/2011 16:18

A

Used B growing up and would expect the DC to call elderly neighbours etc Mrs/Mr, but not anyone my own age unless in formal setting.

vj32 · 13/02/2011 16:22

I have a question though. If your child is going round to a house for tea or something, how do you ascertain what their correct title is? Presumably the parent has introduced themselves as X, Y's mother, not Mrs or Miss or Ms Z.

So then you enter the whole minefield of family politics and potentially spectacularly offending someone by calling them the wrong name. I think the best rule is to ask, as the best rule is to teach children to ask what other people prefer to be called. I know a few children who are called by their middle names, or another name altogether, for different reasons. I wouldn't insist on calling them by their legal name - that would be rude. For the same reason some people do not like their surname or use several names. With divorce rates so high names are not as simple as they were in the past. Our names also can have big emotional meaning. I would always ask if I wasn't sure.

traceybath · 13/02/2011 16:24

Definitely A.

And I am very hot on manners but don't think respect is show by calling someone Mr/Mrs - its how you speak to them, looking them in the eyes/smiling and being polite etc.

Bogeyface · 13/02/2011 16:29

I am opposite to those who say that they are not their own MIL! My MIL loathes me and hates the fact that i have taken her sons surname, so I have made the most of being called Mrs X when she has been around just to bloody annoy her and to remind her of my position in DHs life!

That may colour my view slightly :o

TheShoeQueen · 13/02/2011 16:35

A or they call me 'Jacks mum' etc.

schoolsecretary · 13/02/2011 16:35

A once the kids know me well enough, other wise they tend to call me Ds's mum or Dd's mum, which I don't mind. I get called Mrs in school so don't want it at home.

bossboggle · 13/02/2011 16:43

I think it depends what you are comfortable with. I am a parent/helper at our local primary school. When I started I was introduced as Mrs but there was a problem, the children didn't know my married name and one little boy said 'You're not Mrs you're @@@@@ and promply used my first name!! I have no problem with them using my first name at all and I am much older than their teacher. They know that they have to call their teacher miss or Mrs . None of us have a problem with that and I do use Mrs when I have to!! Formal stuff but that's it!! I use my grandmother's name and I'm proud of it!! Most of my son's friends use my first name or say **'s mum!!

bossboggle · 13/02/2011 16:45

Bogeyface, I totally agree about the MIL thing!! Me too!!

Ponders · 13/02/2011 16:48

anything except "Auntie" or "Uncle"

ManateeEquineOhara · 13/02/2011 16:55

DDs friend asked me this today which was rather sweet. I told her she can call me my Christian name, and that I am not a Mrs anyway but a Ms. It was nice to be asked though.

working9while5 · 13/02/2011 17:03

First name, always!

I work in two secondary schools. I'm a "Mrs" in one and my forename in another. I really don't like being a "Mrs", massively... it sounds stuffy and I don't see what's wrong with calling me the name I was born with.

onceamai · 13/02/2011 17:17

A for the DC's friends. But as their teachers expect to be called Mrs/Miss/Mr I expect the teachers and all others employed by the school to call me Mrs too. There is no way I will call another adult Mrs/Miss/Mr/Dr if they do not reciprocate with same level of respect, ie, I do not appreciate my first name being used at the doctors by either the receptionists of the doctors.

nannyl · 13/02/2011 17:20

A

(although when im at school being a teacher in kindergaten class im "Miss Mysurname" which is fine too.)

but if not in school then my christian name

BaadRobot · 13/02/2011 17:23

A

But if DC's teachers ringing me, or sales people on phone, etc. then Mrs.BaadRobot

Asteria · 13/02/2011 17:35

When I'm teaching (after school Art at my DS's school) I prefer Miss for the first instance and then I will happily ask them to call me Asteria after that. It's such a small school and I know most of them outside school anyway. The School is lovely and informal though so we can all go by first names anyway - the secretary is mother to the world and happily doles out marvellous advice to all who ask!
With friend's children I'm either Asteria or Auntie Asteria for very close friends' children.

Bunbaker · 13/02/2011 17:35

Funnily enough OH, MIL and I were having a discussion about this last week. MIL is 82 and thinks it is very disrespectful for children to call adults by their christian name. She insists that DD calls close adult friends auntie whatever. OH and I disagreed with her and said that DD was only to call my sister and SIL auntie because that is what they are.

I grew up in the 60s and 70s and I always called my friends mums Mrs Whatever.

I prefer to be called by my christian name by people who know me - adults and children. All my friends do likewise. Like others I hate cold callers calling me by my first name and sounding too chummy.

houselikeashed · 13/02/2011 17:36

I am an 'A' for mt DS's friends, as they go to a school where all the teachers are called by their first names - even the Headmaster.
Therefore the children expect to call adults by their first names.
However, to my DD friends, where I teach in her school, I am always a 'B'.
Depends what the kids are used to I suppose.
I prefer B personally. (Must be old!!)

Eglu · 13/02/2011 17:36

A definitely.

B is so old fashioned these days.

Eglu · 13/02/2011 17:38

Bunbaker, I remember calling all of my Grans friends and my Mums friends Auntie. I hate that and would never make my kids do that.

exoticfruits · 13/02/2011 17:44

First name.
(can't stand putting auntie in front)

GwendolineMaryLacey · 13/02/2011 17:51

B definitely. Unless I have said you may call me Gwendoline then I'm Mrs Lacey to you.

In the last few years of my mother teaching at a small private school (she retired about 5 years ago) they changed the rules so the children (aged 3 and 4 in her class) called her Wilma instead of Mrs Flintstone. All the staff hated it but were told tough tits.

exoticfruits · 13/02/2011 18:00

'I hate it when adults request that my children them by their first name.

I wish they wouldn't do it.'

It is entirely up to the person to choose. If I want a DC to call me by my first name I am not suiting the parent of the DC; I prefer to suit myself and the DC. If they want to be Mrs in return, my DC can call them Mrs but it doesn't mean that I have to do the same.