Poll: Prefer to be called Christian name or Mrs by children

[Mrsredoneslast]

By request.
Do you prefer to be called by your christian name or by your "title"..Mrs, Ms etc...by children (acquiantances's children/ dc's school friends etc)

So which

A)christian name

or

B) "title"
?

I truly believe this is one of the things eroding values in our society. There is a genereal disrespect shown to adults by some portions of the population.
I dont mean anything like "seen not heard" or "know your place" or any of those hard stifled views before anyone makes assumptions. Its just pure courtesy, parent/child boundaries and part of the value of respect we should be retaining.
Just my opinion anyway.

sorry...christian name is probably showing my age a bit. Forename it is.

If the children know me then A. Why not?

But agree with others about use of first name by people who don't know me. I always give my name as Mrs Minton and expect to be addressed as such.

B

How is calling someone by their name any kind of disrespect? I'm over forty, btw, and we always did the same as children. Nobody objected.

A, btw (obviously).

Mrs X (or by my children - mummy)

Hmm.

A.

But it's odd here in Germany. Children generally call me by my given name, but adults of a different generation call me Frau M........ I am not sure when children start to do this.

I wouldn't like children to call me by my title, but I would expect DD to do so until instructed otherwise.

There is a definite difference in the UK. Say my name was Abigail Schmidt. An older person, or much younger would call me Frau Schmidt. Someone my own age but not on the same social footing at that moment in time as me (ie someone serving me at that moment in a shop or restaurant) would also call me Frau Schmidt. Someone I had just met would, too,
unless it was a purely social meeting, in which case they would call me Abigail. A British guy that I have telephoned with on semi-official grounds once previously answered the phone the second time around with 'Alright, Abs?' It felt far too familiar!

I'm not married or have children yet, but I do some (voluntary) teaching and childminding, and I'm called Miss Scatter.

I think it's because I'm quite young and have younger brothers and sisters, so I'm used to being called Scatter by people that age, and Miss Chassé is far too formal for babysitting.

I always called friends parents Mr/Mrs X, and felt really awkward if they asked me to use their first name. I tended to call them 'excuse me' then Even now, there's only one or two I can call by their first name, it just doesn't seem right!

Most of my children's closest friends call me by my first name. Some call me Mrs X (the ones I don't know well). I taught a fair few of them so they tend to oscillate. My friend's children are from a British-Asian background and have always called me Aunty First Name in keeping with their culture. tbh I don't enforce anything, just let each child decide based on what is normal in their family.

I sometimes visit an old teacher (a Levels) and still address him as 'Sir'. He told me to call him by his first name, but I just can't! At the very least I'll call him 'Mr English Teacher'

*Oh, and this is after I've been down the pub with him!

To appear laid back and easy going I would say A! But I am always slightly taken aback when a five year old child calls me "Jane" (not my real name!). But then my children tell them thats my name so thats what they use. It just seems weird to have children I dont know, such as the kids friends, call me what my friends call me! Thats not the same as my friends children though, I dont mind them calling my by my first name.

I suspect I am rather old fashioned at heart and would like to go back to the days when everyone was Mr/Mrs X until told otherwise! My grandma said that it was normal to call women by their first names til they got married and then they became Mrs X, which must have been nice as it was an official recognition of the change of status.

I am happy with first names, don't see how it can be disrespectful to call someone by their name .

Wouldn't want to be Mrs anything as I'm Ms if a title is required. Much prefer to just be called by my name though!

(gathers Hecate and Redoneslast to her bosom)

I hate overfamiliarity in a business context, especially when I am the customer. If someone in a call centre calls me by my first name, I ask them not to. It is rude. Am going to tell them on the other thread.

those of you who expect children to call you by your title and surname, do you offer them the same respect!?

A

Flamingo, that is not how it works. Children blatantly should have a little respect for the adults in their lives, and if that means calling someone Mrs X when that's what they want, then why on earth shouldn't they? Children are not equal in all things to adults; that way would lie madness.

It's a bit of a minefield isn't it? I don't think it's a sign of general moral decline/eroding respect, just different cultures and shifts in cultural norms.

I guess the thing to teach our children is to call people whatever they want to be called, to be aware that not everyone follows their own families norms and it's not worth getting offended over.

I am Ms Laya on official forms etc..
Hima professionally and to those who know me, whatever our age difference
I will answer to Mrs DH/DS's surname if called that by companies, dr, school etc.. In relation to the kids or household stuff, but I never use it myself and it's not my name
Do some volunteering at school, tell the kids to call me Hima

Flaming - nope. I don't. Because the relationship between child and adult is not one of equals. That is not to say that you do not respect children. But you are not peers and this is reflected in the use of names.

A

I also don't see what is disrespectful in using someones given name? Not even after a few of you have said why it bothers you

The only time I prefer it is in schools - I like the teachers to be Mr/Miss/Mrs/Ms x not Jane or Fred and I dislike (with a fair amount of passion ) Miss Jane/Mr Fred it's like nails down a blackboard - not that you find them in schools any more - sadly.

I always find it a little bit when sales people (etc) shorten my name when they've only known me 2 mins and it's not even a real name when they do - so it's not like Samantha to Sam, it's like... Julie to Ju... very odd to be quite that familiar - but hey ho... no big deal.

A - preferably by my nickname rather than my full christian name - only my parents ever call me by the long version.

I really don't like being called Miss XXX, it doesn't sound like me.

Hecate - one of our very few polar opposites!! It seems quite odd to be on the 'other side' to you

A

I suppose you could argue I have a stick up my arse