aibu to think that the MIL is wrong to call me extravagant

[onceamai]

Every time she comes there's a comment about what I'm wearing, how much it cost and a little dig about extravagance. I think I'm quite frugal and buy what I need - bear in mind I have to look decent for work; my mum thinks I should spend a lot more on myself.

We are very comfortable, the dc are 12 and 16, no mortgage and I work full time. In the last 12 months I have spent:

Hair - 400 (3 cut and blow dry, 3 half head highlights)

Make-up - probably about 70.00

Clothes: Per Una outfit 75, Per Una suit 75, 3 per una blouses - 90, 2 per Una tops - 50, East dress - 79, M&S cardigan 25, Kew linen coat 99, M&S skirt - 39.50, Next blouse - 32, Boden top - 59, Van Dal shoes 79, Joseph Sieber comfy sandals 55, Clarks ballet pumps, John Lewis ankle boots 70, Evening shoes 115, outfit from Phase 8 for evenings special occasions - 175, Radly handbag - 120, smart black holdall Oliver Bonas 39. Probably another 100 on underwear and tights.

i think it is on the frugal side if you are working full time. esp. the hair

Actually, for me that would be a lot of new clothes, but I don't work and we do have a mortgage. So I mean for your situation I don't think its a lot. :)

It is no f*cking business of anyone's what you spend, and it's about bloody time well-paid working women didn't always feel to compelled to justify their purchases with, "What, this old thing, I bought it in the sale."

Do you think Duncan Bannatyne would say, "What, this old Ferrari, I bought it in the sale"? No. He'd say it reflected his hard work, and his success, and he wouldn't feel an iota of guilt about it.

Per Una is absolutely fine if you work in education or in social services, where it's important for you to look non-threatening.

Wonders what cheerfulyank thinks of per una now she's googled it.

What's wrong with kew? Years ago, when I was slim and pretty, I bought 2 lovely short(ish) skirts from Kew. They were well made, didn't go out of shape or fade in the wash. Has it changed?

OP, I wouldn't lie to my MIL about my spending. That makes it sound like you think she has a point. It's your money and your business and I think I'd be inclined to tell her so, if these comments are a regular thing. I'm not one for keeping family harmony at all costs and this would get on my nerves.

Good point thomasbodley about Duncan Bannatyne

What you spend on your clothes and hair is no-one's business but your own.

You should say that to your MIL the next time she brings it up.

I would lie to her and tell her everything costs twice as much as what you paid.

She will be happy that she then really does have something to accuse you of, and you can be smug in the knowledge that she doesn't know what she's talking about.

"Per Una is absolutely fine if you work in education or in social services, where it's important for you to look non-threatening."

ROFL

OP - ignore all the comments about your taste in clothes. You MNers are no better than her MIL - judgemental and critical...

oh no OP you're MIL is totally unreasonable to say you are extravagant, but it's perfectly acceptable for me to tell you that you shouldn't be wearing per una
(Paraphrasing, obviously)

Get a grip Mners you sound like a group of anti feminist anti-woman (if that's at all possible) tossers IMO and hyper hypocritical at that.

I don't care if you all hate me now, if it makes you realise what you're like!

PS - Am I the only one thinking this

ANd this is only directed at the posters who mentioned per una, by the way. And it's not because I like per una - I couldn't afford it even if I did!

DuplicitousBitch - I resent being linked to Per Una thank you so much.

can't believe your mil thinks its remotely anything to do with her how you spend your money. tell her to keep her nose out. why do you put up with such an interfering mil? honestly don't get it.

Why are you discussing what you spend on clothes/hair etc with your MIL and mother - unless you are boasting surely there is no need to tell them what you spend? I can't imagine any circumstances where my mother would ask me what I spent on an outfit (usually I do boast though as I always buy from charity shops ).

As others have said - it is all relevant - it seems a lot to me but I loathe spending on hair/clothes etc - but do spend a lot on food (and wine).

I think it really is a generation thing though, everyone seems to have so much more nowadays, perhaps your MIL is just suprised at the amount of clothes you have?

there is no way on earth you could call yourself frugal...at all

on the other hand it really is none of her business

I like Per Una, and so does my MIL and my DIL.. there is nothing wrong with it.

Misfitless - agree with your comments totally, it is really crass to comment on people's choice of clothes. I love Per Una (especially if I can get them from charity shops).

sorry axisofevil how about axis of frumpy?

Well, it´s not really her business-you´re not getting into debt.

Not sure that more than 100GBP on shoes or a bag is frugal, though.

I would say you spend more than average but if you can afford it then good on you. Your MIL is very rude to comment.

You have not overspent at all, when I worked I spent more than 5k in a year on clothes, suits cost 120 a time, going out I had a new outfit every week.

You have done well with what you have had.

If you work for it you should have it and be able to spend what you want on whatever you want.

Tell her to mind her own business.

How are you able to list every item of clothing brought in last 12 months and price? I would never remember that!

And what's wrong with per una?

Wheredidyoulastseeit, am back from googling. :) It's ok, not my style but not bad. The M&S website has some cute boys' stuff though..wonder if they'll ship it to the US?