Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WWYD - Breastfeeding?

111 replies

loveitwhenyouoooh · 10/02/2011 17:25

I'm visiting a friend at the weekend and taking DS2 (6wks) to meet her. Although she would have no problem with anyone breastfeeding their child I do know her personal opinion is that breastfeeding is a bit weird and she once told me she was very Shock when a visiting friend, in her words, whipped her boob out to feed her baby. She told me she only associates breasts with sex so feels it is strange to use them with a baby. Hmm in my opinion but each to their own.

She would never ask me not to BF in front of her and I would never deny DS a feed but as I will be visiting her house and am aware of her opinion should I respect this by arranging to visit between feeds (DS is pretty regular 3 hourly feeder)so as not to make her feel uncomfortable OR just go when convenient for her and us regardless of whether it means feeding DS when I'm there since breastfeeding is totally natural and normal?

WWYD?

OP posts:
BooBooGlass · 10/02/2011 17:27

She is being ridiculous. The only way bfing will seem normal to her is if she sees people do it, so please don't hide away

PaisleyLeaf · 10/02/2011 17:27

Aren't you just tempted to turn up topless? Grin

TallulahDoesTheHula · 10/02/2011 17:28

I'd go whenever is convenient for you and her and if your DS needs feeding while you are there you could always say 'DS needs feeding now, would you prefer me to feed him in the bedroom?' if you'll feel awkward just feeding in front of her?

nickelbabe · 10/02/2011 17:30

I'd turn up and whop my boob out to feed.

She sounds a bit prudish.

although, having said that, she thinks boobs are for sex only, so she's probably
a) a sexual deviant or
b) not a mammal.

Shakirasma · 10/02/2011 17:31

Whilst your friend is being a complete moron, your friend should not be made to feel uncomfortable in her own home by you doing something she finds weird.

So a visit between feeds is probably a good idea or it will be awkward for both of you.

Btw, just what plant does she live on??

jennifersofia · 10/02/2011 17:31

Go when it is handy for you both, then breastfeed in front of her, but discreetly, with a muslin draped over. This way you can do what works for you and baby, and she can see that maybe bf is not so bad.

Shakirasma · 10/02/2011 17:32

Plant = planet of course

zikes · 10/02/2011 17:33

Grin @ nickelbabe.

ambarth · 10/02/2011 17:34

Society has conditioned people to feel breasts are sexual, dirty and embarassing.Sad It would be a bit unfair to make her feel uncomfortable if it could be avoided though.

LoopyLoopsPoopaScoop · 10/02/2011 17:36

Just go whenever convenient, she needs to get over it.

Nanny0gg · 10/02/2011 18:04

She doesn't need to get over it - it's her house.

Of course B/F your baby if he needs it, but as jennifer said, be discreet and drape something over your breast if your clothes don't cover you enough.

I'm all in favour of as many women as possible b/feeding ( I did it myself for both dcs for over a year) but there's no need to be aggressive about it, it will just put people off.

Memoo · 10/02/2011 18:08

What bollocks op, I think a few slipped through the net when op were doing the hoovering

BaronessBomburst · 10/02/2011 18:10

I agree with Tallulah and would just ask if she preferred me to feed in the bedroom.

ThePerfectFather · 10/02/2011 18:11

It may be her house, but she knows you're breastfeeding and is still inviting you around so whip em out, I say (heh, what a charmer).

Maybe watching how unsexual a baby being breastfeed really is will cure her of this stupid opinion.

thunderbird69 · 10/02/2011 18:16

Why do people seem to think you should respect a mother who wants to breastfeed but not respect the wishes of a person who does not want to watch it?!

SauvignonBlanche · 10/02/2011 18:19

Because feeding a baby is perfectly natural?
They can always close thie eyes if they're that disturbed! Angry

belgo · 10/02/2011 18:19

thunderbird I think it's more respecting the need of a very new baby to be fed in the way it's used to with the least possible disruption.

The person she is visiting doesn't have to 'watch'.

OhKit · 10/02/2011 18:23

It's just her opinion, like the OP said she wouldn't stop her bfing if the ds needed to. It's her house, just be a bit respectful of her feelings i.e be discreet.

thunderbird69 · 10/02/2011 18:24

It may be natural to breastfeed but not to 'whip out your boob' in front of people.

Fair enough if it is done discretely, I'm sure her friend wouldn't be upset by that - but she IS entitled to her own opinion.

diabolo · 10/02/2011 18:26

You shouldn't have to be discreet though - it's what your boobs are for!

belgo · 10/02/2011 18:26

Most women are discreet when bfing but one person's definition of discrete is different from another's, and that's where the problem continues.

I am nearly always discrete but I would never use a shawl or anything to cover my baby's face; nor would I sit somewhere else to bf.

belgo · 10/02/2011 18:27

And what exactly is 'whipping a boob out'? That description is nearly always in the eye of the beholder.

pigletmania · 10/02/2011 18:28

Hi I would go, but dont deny your dc a feed, just ask if there is a room that you could bf in as you understand her opinions on it. What a strange attitude. Or if you have a poncho or blanket bring that, cant see anything.

SauvignonBlanche · 10/02/2011 18:29

It's pefectly discreet to expose a breast to feed a baby, that's what they're for.
I would assocoate the 'whip out your boob' mentality with Page 3.

SauvignonBlanche · 10/02/2011 18:30

pigletmania that's a nice idea, her friend could put it over her head to protect her sensibilities. Wink