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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WWYD - Breastfeeding?

111 replies

loveitwhenyouoooh · 10/02/2011 17:25

I'm visiting a friend at the weekend and taking DS2 (6wks) to meet her. Although she would have no problem with anyone breastfeeding their child I do know her personal opinion is that breastfeeding is a bit weird and she once told me she was very Shock when a visiting friend, in her words, whipped her boob out to feed her baby. She told me she only associates breasts with sex so feels it is strange to use them with a baby. Hmm in my opinion but each to their own.

She would never ask me not to BF in front of her and I would never deny DS a feed but as I will be visiting her house and am aware of her opinion should I respect this by arranging to visit between feeds (DS is pretty regular 3 hourly feeder)so as not to make her feel uncomfortable OR just go when convenient for her and us regardless of whether it means feeding DS when I'm there since breastfeeding is totally natural and normal?

WWYD?

OP posts:
Olivetti · 10/02/2011 19:49

Does that matter? Breastfeeding is (for me) one of the best things ever, but I don't see the need to change everyone's views. OP's friend is entitled to her opinion/feelings, especially in her own house.

tigitigi · 10/02/2011 20:00

oh for goodness sakes - it is just polite to your friend to ask - no need to make heavy weather of it

Cleofartra · 10/02/2011 20:05

I would no more deliberately avoid bf in front of her than I'd treat dh differently if we were visiting the home of someone who was racist and had professed to feeling uncomfortable about witnessing signs of affection between men and women of different ethnicities. Bigotry is understandible in our society, but should never be reinforced by pandering to it.

belgo · 10/02/2011 20:07

Olivetti _ I'm not particularly concerned about changing people's views either - but that works two ways - I don't expect them to tell me to modify the way I bf.

And I think her views are relatively unusual - in five years of bfing I have never once been told to cover up or move. I just get on and breastfeed - no need to make a heavy weather issue out of it.

NinkyNonker · 10/02/2011 20:12

I agree, have yet to meet someone in real life who has these feelings.

thefirstMrsDeVere · 10/02/2011 20:14

Did she invite you round? She must realise that you will need to feed your baby at some point then. I am having a hollow laugh at the notion of visiting someone 'between feeds' with a 6 week old Grin

Do they have breaks between feeding then?

If she is a good friend and you are going to be seeing her a lot then you should discuss it with her . 'you do know that I am going to be feeding my baby several times a day for the next few months dont you?'

Still not entirely convinced about this thread though. Is it designed to get us all ranting about what bitches who dont bf are? Sorry to be suspicious but there has been a lot going on lately.....

SauvignonBlanche · 10/02/2011 20:14

Cleofatra you beat me to it!
I agree entirely.

Meglet · 10/02/2011 20:17

Personally I would go and bf the baby if it needed feeding. I would never ask if it was ok. What's she going to do, throw you out Hmm.

Your friend won't spontaneously combust if you bf in front of her.

PaisleyLeaf · 10/02/2011 20:18

Well what about restaurants and P&O cruise ships?
Should breastfeeding mums actually be asking around if anyone minds?

Chil1234 · 10/02/2011 20:26

How old was this friend when they made the remark about breastfeeding, I wonder? I've known quite a lot of girls late teens/early twenties for whom the whole idea of pregnancy, childbirth and associated bodily functions seem just beyond the pale... they can be a squeamish bunch at that age.

veganette · 10/02/2011 20:28

I would just bf, agree that you should not pander to her narrow minded, weird views. Breastfeeding is the most natural thing in the world, not something to be done in secret.

tigitigi · 10/02/2011 20:32

well sex is natural but you would not do it in public

BooBooGlass · 10/02/2011 20:35

FGS you prat

veganette · 10/02/2011 20:37

Sex is a private, intimate act between two consenting adults.

Breastfeeding is just that - a baby feeding.Not something sexual. Completely normal, and in most cultures, nothing shameful or sexual about it.

Why on earth should that be hidden from view?You'll be saying that doing the toilet is natural next but that people do that in private too!

Memoo · 10/02/2011 20:38

Polite to ask somebody if its ok to feed your hubgry baby??? Are you for real or just on the wind up?

thefirstMrsDeVere · 10/02/2011 20:43

Now I know this isnt a real thread. Sex? FFS

tl10 · 10/02/2011 20:43

I don't mean to be rude but I am so sick of hearing about breastfeeding lately! Maybe I'm on the wrong website but the topic seems to be an obsession to some people and as a mother of a 3 month old it's far more interesting to me than most other people. Ask if you can, then if she's funny go to another room. You'll prob find she isn't funny at all if she's your friend. She probably just has little experience of babies. It would be the last thing on my mind though- just go and enjoy the visit to your friend x

Olivetti · 10/02/2011 20:50

tl10, could not agree more, and SNAP! I have a 3 month old too. Cover up, don't cover up, breastfeed, formula feed, do what the hell you like!!!!!

NinkyNonker · 10/02/2011 20:53

Haha, sex, yes the two are very similar aren't they.

Someone'll come in with the having a wee analogy soon too.

tl10 · 10/02/2011 20:58

Thank you Olivetti- thought I was going to be totally slapped down for that comment!

Olivetti · 10/02/2011 21:02

Oh, just give it a couple of minutes tl10!

QueenOfFlamingEverything · 10/02/2011 21:04

tigitigi you are a nincompoop

HTH Smile

NinkyNonker · 10/02/2011 21:09

Why would you be slapped down? Most people don't care either way.

tl10 · 10/02/2011 21:12

hehe true! :) I didn't dare refresh the page in case the breastfeeding warriors came after me (and not that it should matter to anyone but I do because I know that'll be the next comment)- I just can't bear this recent phenonomon of hysteria about it. Seriously though, just enjoy your day with your friend who sounds like she might be just the tonic to get away from 'mumsy' conversation for a few hours- my single/ childless mates who sound like yours are great fun and actually usually spend more time getting giddy over my little girl than most who have kids x

tl10 · 10/02/2011 21:15

phenomenon rather- it's been a long day lol :)