to refuse....

[thenightwalker]

To let my child eat fast food!

My daugter has a party this week and the mother has decided to get all the kids there amcdonalds happy meal.

All the other mums have agreed.

My daugter is just about to turn 2 and i think this is just unacceptable food fo a child that ytoung.

I wont let her be having it.

I dont feel like im being unreasonable.

Would you let yours? Even if it is just a one off?

Those last two are on the wrong thread because I have gone hopelessly mad. Sorry.

Bogeyface Yeah, I know I'm conflating two issues - but the effect surely is the same?

Posters on here are saying that if you refuse to let your child eat at Maccy D's then you'll be viewed as rude, PFB, and wont be invited to any parties. Well, that's true of veggies as well as the "overly health conscious".

There's also been points made that if you deny your child a certain type of food then you are lining them up for eating disorders - well, I'm denying mine a massive food group.

And what if I start denying him things like jelly if it's made from gelatine? Will he turn into a serial jelly scoffer?

If you were to explain that your child cant have the maccies because you are vegetarian and could you bring your own food then I wouldnt consider that U at all. The same if your child had an allergy or intolerance.

But the OP is just over reacting to the thought of a normal child with no issues eating a bit of fast food as a one off and kicking up a stink about it. It is a different thing altogether. My friend is vege and weaned both her children as vege. One is still vege at 6 the other, at 4 steals her dads bacon from his sarnies and will eat meat sandwiches over non meat any day! So in answer to your jelly question, its possible, yes!

Meant to say too that the OP isnt so much denying a particular food group in a measured and considered way (in a veggie/vegan type way), but being overly controlling and paranoid. This was borne out by looking at her posting history. A parent with that level of control and paranoia is more likely to instill issues into a child and therefore cause food issues in later life. Being veggie is a lifestyle choice that wont cause food issues anymore than a family who dont eat fish for example.

YANBU. MacDonald's is grim - they could at least have stretched to a KFC!!

"X is a vegetarian so I'll bring her something so you don't have to cater for her'

"X is allergic to milk/gluten/sesame so I'll bring her lunch with me if thats ok"

"X is precious, as am I and I can't allow her to destroy her innards with the chicken and potatoes that you are feeding your lesser child so I'll be bringing her something superior"

Do you see the difference?

My child has an allergy and sometimes has to take his own stuff. He doesn't like it but people understand that its because the other food could kill him and we aren't making a value judgement about the other adults parenting skills. I still give him 'party food', just not exactly the same as the others.

But where do you draw the line between an "unacceptable" lifestyle choice (healthy eating) and an "acceptable" lifestyle choice (vegetarianism)?
After all, my vegetarianism (and my family's) isn't based on religious or medical reasons - it's just a decision we've made. Just like the OPs decision to only offer healthy food.
I guess that people feel that the OP is making an underhand comment about the host's parenting skills - that would be the only reason that could explain the extreme hostility in this thread.

I have never taken my DD into McDonald's and try to avoid it if at all possible myself. Not so much because of the food but just because I find the place depressing. BUT if she were invited to a party there I would have no problem. There is a difference, I think.

I agree with a person who mentioned birthday parties in the 70s and 80s. Where am from EVERYONE had their parties at McDonalds - it was a real treat. In fact, I actually don't think McDonalds was as depressing back then because it really was seen as a treat.

I bet Ian Thorpe went to McDonalds as a kid and he turned out pretty healthy :)

Gargula , I think "healthy eating" becomes a bad thing when it affects your mental state! :)

Again, I am a vegetarian, but people are overly paranoid about the ingredients in McDs food. Its chicken (or beef, or whatever) and potatoes, fried in vegetable oil!!

Gargula, out of interest, when you child is old enough to have a choice, will you allow them to eat meat?

Bubblerapped - difficult question as I do not personally intend on cooking meat for them. I wouldn't have the foggiest as been veggie for 20 odd years and DH raised veggie and never eaten meat.
I think, if they are old enough to choose to eat meat, and to cook it for themselves, then who am I to say "no" (though I would probably weep melodramatically behind their backs).
However if they went to MCD's I would disown them on the spot

YANBU - I wouldn't let my 2 yo have mcdonalds and no he doesn't eat fish fingers at home either. Why on earth is she buying mcdonalds for a house party anyway? What's wrong with throwing together a few sandwiches, chopping up some fruit and veggies and laying on some dips and breadsticks? Much healthier and the children won't know the difference! It really shocks me how many people think it's ok to feed children junk food from such an early age. WHY????!!!

Hmm, that was too flippant.
I would definitely be disappointed, put it that way. But I hope I would be adult enough to accept their decision.

I remember parties in the 80s when EVERYONE had a Wimpy party, and the more sophisticated kids had Pizza Land! There was always one poor little mite whose mother wouldn't let them go/made them bring their own rubbishy nut and lettuce sandwich. Cue other kids teasing them etc. That's child cruelty!

A girl I know has multiple food allergies (serious life threatening ones) and McDonalds is the only "eating out" place she can go to. It's not the food of the devil OP
However the quickest disappearing party food I've ever done was carrot sticks and cucumber with a mayonnaise and tomato ketchup dip - went down a storm with the hippy parents, the veggi parents and the couldn't care less as they're someone else's problem for a few hours parents

Most people are just trying to balance out feeding a healthy balanced diet with being a good guest. Very few people think giving fast food to small children on a regular basis is ideal but its better than being a neurotic mess who can't accept that the food at a party isn't supposed to provide your daily nutrition. You can get fruit, veg, bread at McDonalds so why shouldn't the host choose to do that if she wants to? The host isn't saying there is something wrong with throwing together a few sandwiches, chopping up some fruit and veggies etc. but that is not what she has chosen to do. Personally I like a throwback party with buns and jelly but I don't turn up at other peoples parties with a bag of food from the '70 because, funnily enough, my preference is not more important than the hosts.

Finally read this thread and chuckled - I just don't get why the big M gets SO much more criticism than other places. Why has it become the scapegoat?

I'm not saying it's healthy (duh!) but I'm sure I've heard/read that other food places are just as bad or worse. Subway, pizza hut etc, and don't get me started on ready made sandwiches - the posh ones are often worse but the opposite is often assumed. Food is so often more about brand than ingredients. WEIRD.

I think its rude to expect that mothers would just let their kids eat shitty fats food if im honest

Look, you have a choice. Let your dd go to the party & eat what is offered, or not let her go. Sending her with her own lunch is just daft!

Part & parcel of a party is that the children get to enjoy something they wouldn't have everyday.

Oh dear OP. I share your views on what consititutes healthy eating for a 2 year old (mine has just turned 2). So yes, 99% of what DD eats are home cooked meals, she doesn't eat sweets/chocolates etc and her desserts consist of fruits which she adores. She doesn't have salt added to her food etc. HOWEVER, I recognise that everyone will parent differently and that if we go to a party, I want to make sure that we fit in and that is more important to me than what she has for one meal. You're right, she won't know any different, however, as she grows up over the next few years with these children, the parents will think you're a loon (as has been expressed on this thread) and they will pass those sentiments on to their children, which will end up having a detrimental impact on your child. A healthy but unhappy child isn't what you want surely?

Something else to think about.... when my DD turned 2, she had a little party. As I didn't want to make "healthy" food a big fuss point, the children ate chips, fish fingers and baked beans followed by jelly and ice cream and birthday cake. In reality, the chips were sweet potato wedges, the fish fingers were homemade (oven baked instead of fried) and while DD was offered the same dessert, she only ate a little but more helped herself to the melon and mango fruit sticks that were also on the table.

I thoroughly agree with you, its shit, but a one off is not a big deal. Chances are she will NOT like it and will only nibble at the food.
Pack some of her favorite goodies, let her have a bite then unpack her snack.
Dont overthink it and let her enjoy the bonding exercise!

YANBU... I've flat our told my mum friend's here that I will not, under any circumstances, eat any fast food nor will DD. Having been in the food industry for 20 years on many levels and DH is a Chef, I'm educated on the harms of this part of the food industry. You are not only condoning terrible food consumption, but animal welfare is abdominal and the impact on the environment is tragic, to put it simply and remedially. Read Fast Food Nation and Eating in the Dark. Take it a bit farther, watch Food Inc. That may change your mind.

Bubblymummy I was thinking the same thing - why go maccy d's?! I would suck it up as a one off though and choose the chick nuggets and veg back and fruit bag

I have a far bigger issue with all the kids I see eating chocolate from a young age - my 3 year old has had a little cake on special occasions but never choc bars or sweets etc. Don't see the point.

I wouldn't be doing parties at mcdonalds as my biggest issue is all the salt I'm their food - which is a lot!

Even for a party, I don't think it's appropriate for 2 year olds to be eating fast food.

You sound very self-righteous. You come on here asking AIBU and when you get responses that don't agree with you, you get pissy. I mean seriously what the fuck did you think was going to happen when you posted on AIBU?

Quite frankly if it was my child's party and I chose to serve McD's and you showed up with food, I'd think you were extremely rude and invite you to go the hell back home.

I honestly wouldn?t mind for a one off. In fact this afternoon my ds has been invited to his 1st ever McD party. It wouldn't occur to me to say no.

But (if I've read correctly), the party isn't even at McD. They're having the party at home and bringing in McD food. That, imo is weird and nasty. Cold congealing crap food. Bizarre. Why not just bung a packet of oven chips and nuggets in the oven for 20 minutes.

I wouldn't ban the occasional McD, in fact when we go their it's to use their indoor play bit as it's a pretty good one. But I would absolutely draw the line at take away McD. And for a party, it cannot be easier to run out half way through to bring back half a dozen cold happy meanls than it is to just make a few sandwiches and open a few packets of crisps and biscuits.