I’m skint and think this is a good way to pay off some debts – AIBU?

[WhereTheresAWill]

I?m a single parent and although I have a day job it?s minimum wage, so like most people money is tight. I have debts to pay off and anything extra is very much needed so I can get back on an even keel. I started doing webcam work a few months ago after a suggestion from a friend who?s in a similar industry (she?s an escort), and it?s helping me to pay off my debts and give me a bit of extra cash to treat my DC. I can?t do a second job outside the house as I have no evening childcare for my DC, so in that respect it?s ideal. At present I only work on the cams for approx. 3 hours on Friday and Saturday nights when DCs in bed and although there are some time wasters on the site I work from, most of the blokes are fine (with some interesting requests!) and I have a few regulars, one of which spends approx £40-50 a time when he has a show with me.

I know the moral majority won?t approve and will say that I?m being exploited, used, abused etc. but they are the ones paying a lot of money to see me put on a show, so surely it's the other way around! I just dress up, watch TV until a show is requested then do a bit of a dance and a strip tease and watch the money to stack up as the minutes pass - so who?s the fool?! I?m not a victim, as I choose to do this and actually enjoy the fact that these men are paying me to put on a show for them. They can?t touch me, have no idea where I live or even what my real name is, so it?s safe from that point of view, and if I don?t like them for any reason I can kick them out of my ?room?. Obviously I?ve only been doing it a few months and the novelty may wear off, but if things go well, my friend has suggested I could branch out into the odd bit of escorting as well to up my income a bit more.

AIBU doing this to make a bit of much-needed extra cash?

at 'as safe as possible' [father of the year]

you may notice but i dont care what you think Jimmy or Aitch. if it is my daughters choice so be it. i will help her out the best i can.

I just do not have these underlying issues that you have and do not see it as seedy at all.

Lots of people undertake dangerous jobs for money. Army, Police, Construction and many have lost thier lifes just form money.

No big deal as long as you do it for your self and no one else.

bullshit.

The real question is 'would mrspoc be happy to be an escort himself? By that I mean would he be happy to be an escort for men. After all ,he would just be providing a service, the same as working in a hotel for example. Presumably he would be willing to provide sexual acts with people he didn't fancy as long as he was getting paid for it and could pay his debts off.

at aitch-'father of the year'!
Mrspoc-like I said I hope you never have DC.

If you are fine with it then carry on but escorting is prostitution, sure you know that. Are you not worried your videos may appear all over the internet and get into some dodgy hands, not to mention your kids seeing this later on in life.

I just don't get how any woman has to degrade herself to sell her body in any way, there are other ways, childminding, taking in foreign students, transcribing from home.....takes more effort but least your conscience is clear.

If you are fine with it then carry on but escorting is prostitution, sure you know that. Are you not worried your videos may appear all over the internet and get into some dodgy hands, not to mention your kids seeing this later on in life.

I just don't get how any woman has to degrade herself to sell her body in any way, there are other ways, childminding, taking in foreign students, transcribing from home.....takes more effort but least your conscience is clear.

It is only degrading because people think it is. The social definitions of what is right and wrong are not set in stone. There was a time when homosexuality was considered worse than prostitution. Even Oscar Wilde was put on trial for it because it was considered criminal and seedy. Also, it was considered against decent public defenitions of morality and a deviant act that could corrupt others. Times have changed, it is not defined that way anymore because we as a society choose not to look at it like that. I think certain types of prostitution are not anywhere near as bad as people are making out. These moral issues are in peoples minds and not universal truths. People have the right to decide for themselves what they find morally reprehensible, if MrSpoc thinks it is ok then whats the problem, it is his opinion.

And besides, some of you may actually have children who are in this line of work and just do not know it. At least MrSpoc would be setting up an environment where his child would feel free enough to tell him so he could discuss it with her.

If people didn't react to prostitution like this them maybe we could make some headway into regulating it and making it safer. By reacting like this, we marginalize the women and men who are part of this industry and actually contribute to thier lack of voice, safety and places to seek help. No one wants to talk about it if they feel people will react like this.

But it's dangerous LDNmummy!Surely it's the last resort?
Be honest would you like it if your daughter was an escort?It's hardly a career choice is it?Come on wake up!

Ok, no one person in particular is forcing you to do this, that is true. But your social and economic situation have put you in a place where, to elevate your circumstances above that of 'basic needs met' you have few other choices other than to prostitute yourself in one way or another.

That's not my version of free will and empowerment.

OP, I fully understand why you have taken the webcam route, you are trying to provide for your children and I admire you for that. However, I do think you should prepare yourself for what would happen if your children saw these images, how would you feel? What would you say to them? Also, don't assume that they will never catch you doing it, just because they are good sleepers doesn't mean that they won't wake up one night ill and creep downstairs to find you, it is not impossible.

Secondly, escorting is a big step up from webcam work, you will be putting yourself in potentially dangerous situations. What would happen to your children if you got arreseted or if the worst happened? There are also health risks no matter how careful you are, condoms do split occasionally. Also how do you think any future partner would feel about it? It is easy to think "well, anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am isn't worth it" but, would you reveal your activities the minute you meet a potential partner? I think not and by the time you do feel it is appropriate you could have really fallen for them and the escorting may destroy that.

Finally, if you are earning a reasonable amount of money from the webcam work, why escort anyway? This will probably get me my first flaming on here, but I think people can be motivated by greed without even realising it. It is easy to fall into the "ooh but the next level will earn me £100 more than this is" and so on.

Please be very careful whatever you do OP, and always put your children's well-being first.

OP, can these men see your face on the webcam, or is it just your body?

Is that all that you have to do, strip?

If they can't see your face and you only have to strip, then I can't really see a problem(not that I would do it myself), so long as you have no moral objections.

Escorting is way different though, isn't it? Again, I guess if morally you are fine with having sex with (mainly) married men and you think you have the nerve to go this far, then it's your choice. It is the men that will be seeking you out after all.

What I will say is that I HATE the argument that being a prostitute is no different to having one night stand, except you are getting paid. It is. I had a few one night stands when I was younger. With men I chose, either because I fancied them, had been out for a drink with them and enjoyed their company, or I knew them.

None them were middle aged married men or men that wanted to act out some kind of fetish. It was a mutual thing which at the time both parties enjoyed. Totally different to having some overweight geezer turning up to pay for a shag with you, who you might find revolting.

OP I would like to draw your attention to four of your responses.

1. Suggest ways that could make me up to £100 per weekend that doesn't involve going out of the house?

Many people work shifts and need child care overnights and at weekends, so child minding is one option.

2. And I detest Nick Griffin with a passion.

Me too but if you are going to sell sex you can?t afford to be picky, you?ll meet plenty of men that you will detest, not to mention men with bald spots, hallitosis, crossed eyes, crocked noses and very weird sexual tastes. It?ll take more than a liking for sex and money, it might even take a strong stomach and a short memory.

3. I would never touch drugs.

Don?t be so naive. How else do you think most women cope with the ugly men with the weird sexual tastes and that makes up at least 75% of their clientelle. The normal somewhat more attractive are in the bar buying women drinks and getting laid.

4. No, I wouldn't tell my family and most friends However I have a select few friends who know,

As others here have said there is every chance that at some point in the future family and friends will discover how you are making money. A single parent who lives in the next road has many male visitors, within a short time people had found out that she was charging! I don?t give a fig what she is doing but I know, because one of her friends told the old people who fun the residents association.

I don?t know what you do as a full time job but there is always the possibility that your boss or colleagues could find out.

Find a sugar daddy, join an online dating agency to find a rich man anything other than have sex with random unkowns for a few measilly quid, have pride, set your sights higher.

fatlazymummy - i already said i would do it but not with men. why becasue I am not gay
It is up to the Escort what sex they sleep with.

Jimmy - yes it is a dangerous job - so what there are loads of them out there including the army which I served in overseas fighting for our country.

People just have different opinions.

I also have children. Bit weird me being on this site if i did not.

QueenBathsheba what is the differance between finding a suger daddy and Escorting?

'Is that all that you have to do, strip'

Of course she doesn't just strip

Dunno Mrspoc. I must admit that I am pretty suspicious of any man on here.

Suppose there must be some genuine fathers interested in talking about parenting, but stuff like this??with women?

I would be very curious to my DP's motives if he joined here and chatted about sex with women

It is not as dangerous as people make out. In a 2004 factsheet about prostitution, of the 80.000 estimated street prostitutes, 60 died. This number would most likely decrease with regulation as safety measures could be put into place. Regulation would come with people's acceptance of it as something we cannot force people out of doing. Our own moral ideas are not the same as everyone else's and people need to realise that.

Please remember that escorting is a different sort of prostitution as a) it is not conducted on street corners b) escorts are usually through agencies that take security measures and know where you are at all times. Also, escorts actually do provide companionship etc...

If regulated it would become taxable, and considering what a big industry it is, the revenue would be very helpful to the economy.
Also, it would help to isolate and eradicate cases of trafficking in the UK.

Escorts do not operate out of thier own homes with children in the other room. The agency usually has private rented accomodation or they go out to hotels.

If we could bring all prostitution up to an acceptable standard of safety, even better than the safety provided by agencies, wouldn't that immediately decrease its nature as dangerous work.

For some women it is a career choice, I once met a woman who had been doing it for ten years. She had been able to buy a house, car, finish her education and provide for her children that way. She was happy with it and very normal to me.

If my daughter were to want to become an escort and even told me about it, I would be glad I provided a home environment where she felt free enough to come to me in the first place. I may not be completely happy with it, but it would be something I would have to talk to her about before I decided if it was ok. Most people will do what they want anyway, why should I make them feel ashamed if it is not infringing on my life.

thingumy Op said she did a dance and a strip!! Am I being a dope?

Spoc there is a huge difference, you make a choice.

I met a guy when I was young single and working 80hrs a week, he changed my life. He was 20 yrs older than me and in every way normal, decent, kind, funny and attractive but he was also wealthy.

Why carmenelectra - sex is a normal thing. everyone does it belive it or not. Nothing seedy about it.

Did you know there are loads of Non Mothers on here too talking? is that weird also?

the women going into Escorting make thier own choice. ok some may not but the rest do. It is called free will.