I’m skint and think this is a good way to pay off some debts – AIBU?

[WhereTheresAWill]

I?m a single parent and although I have a day job it?s minimum wage, so like most people money is tight. I have debts to pay off and anything extra is very much needed so I can get back on an even keel. I started doing webcam work a few months ago after a suggestion from a friend who?s in a similar industry (she?s an escort), and it?s helping me to pay off my debts and give me a bit of extra cash to treat my DC. I can?t do a second job outside the house as I have no evening childcare for my DC, so in that respect it?s ideal. At present I only work on the cams for approx. 3 hours on Friday and Saturday nights when DCs in bed and although there are some time wasters on the site I work from, most of the blokes are fine (with some interesting requests!) and I have a few regulars, one of which spends approx £40-50 a time when he has a show with me.

I know the moral majority won?t approve and will say that I?m being exploited, used, abused etc. but they are the ones paying a lot of money to see me put on a show, so surely it's the other way around! I just dress up, watch TV until a show is requested then do a bit of a dance and a strip tease and watch the money to stack up as the minutes pass - so who?s the fool?! I?m not a victim, as I choose to do this and actually enjoy the fact that these men are paying me to put on a show for them. They can?t touch me, have no idea where I live or even what my real name is, so it?s safe from that point of view, and if I don?t like them for any reason I can kick them out of my ?room?. Obviously I?ve only been doing it a few months and the novelty may wear off, but if things go well, my friend has suggested I could branch out into the odd bit of escorting as well to up my income a bit more.

AIBU doing this to make a bit of much-needed extra cash?

Yes shit does happen-but you still don't have to sell your bodyy/soul.

Reluctant it is not hearsay evidence but what I know from having spoken on several occasions with different girls who do this. No it is not direct experience but again, that is why I do not say it is wrong or right. I have said several times that there is too much grey area to just make an assumption that I know what it is all about. My friends did tell me what it was like and other details so I have first hand accounts.

I think it is very telling that the people who are campaigning for its legalisation and regulation work on behalf, actually are or have been working girls of all sorts.

Jimmychoo you said - "Prostitution is dangerous.
A woman could be raped or murdered.
The condom could split and she could get HIV/AIDS.
Even if the above didn't happen it could emotionally scar a woman for years.
What if her children/parents found out?
What if she met the man of her dreams and he found out?
I recently read about a pyschopath who seemed 'normal' with a wife etc who used to meet prostitutes in hotel rooms and tortured and murdered them.
I know this doesn't happen to every prostitute and either of us could be raped or murdered but surely you can see that they are putting themselves at risk?
There are some sick people out there.
You said earlier that one of your friends said that prostitution was her 'career choice' that is really sad.It isn't a career.Can you imagine writing that on your CV?

Many jobs are dangerous and carry a higher risk. It is risk assessment, she was happy with the measures she took. Escorts have many measures in place for safety. Her children did not know but her long term partner did as did her mum and dad. She was a grown woman and I suppose she had spoken to them about it. Not all men would be put off I guess and not all people have the opinion it is wrong. If someone wants to kill someone, they will find a way. Yes prostitutes are at risk, street prostitutes more so then agency girls but regulation would help make the industry even safer. The condom can break, as with any non escort member of the public, again it was her choice to take that risk. Why is it sad or not a career choice? Because the powers that be sat around and said it was wrong? Prostitution is actually indulged in by many of the most powerful people on society, who will then turn around and preach about moral accountability.

All this talk about souls, not everyone believes in the concept of a soul to begin with.

What use is a condom on a tv screen? Do you get murdered over the internet? Can you catch the clap through a screen? There are things I don't know about.

The sex industry is there for a reason, and it's not always about exploitation.

Of course, if you read the paper that's all you'll see. It's not news that a woman has seen a client and been paid, is it? Or that a man has seen a client and been paid? Men service women too. In Australia it's a well regulated business.

LDN-I'm sorry BUT IT ISN'T A CAREER.
IT ISN'T IT ISN'T IT ISN'T.
You are quite convincing in how you answer your questions but you still never got down to realistic side of things.
'What if OP's children walk in on her'
'What if she gets murdered etc...
Come on LDN-it's seedy and awful you must know this?

ah, here come the punternetters.

Is being a traffic warden a career? How do you define a career as opposed to a job?

oh my word.

I take it jeremy Kyle has pc's in the green room

So the OP never came back so I didn't get my answer about image capture and preservation - thank you to the one person with experience who did answer.

Well, hopefully any real person considering doing this will have a think about that.

Even today people can be very ignorant about the fact that any image/film on the net can be taken and used forever (anyone see the news story about the shiny looking US family whose family pic ended up on advertising hoardings in Eastern Europe). They can be ignorant about using the net, not realise there are real people operating websites, chat rooms etc. who can read every word you type should they so wish. They believe it can never happen to them that they are spotted. You may say, so what, I am open minded about sex, I always will be and any future partner who turns me down for my past isn't worth having and if my kids are bullied and someone show's Mum's cam film around school on their mobile, tough, life is hard - but then again, you may not say that..

Yes, it is hearsay evidence, you have no personal experience of prostitution, only what others have told you; this is hearsay. I'm a lawyer, I should know. If that doesn't convince you, this is what Wiki says:

"Hearsay is information gathered by one person from another concerning some event, condition, or thing of which the first person had no direct experience."

I think many of the posters on here have been around the block a few more times than you, you don't need to tell them about the hypocrisies of some people in power. Some of us even have personal experience of it. The powers that be aren't some mystical force imposing its morality on everyone irrespective of the feelings of the majority. They are the government voted for by the people.

I don't know much about the law. If that is the definition of hearsay, how does it differ from a witness, and why is witness testimony allowed as evidence?

How can you judge that the posters on here have been around the block a few more times than me exactly? What do you base that on?

Fair enough on the point of hearsay, I unlike some can admit when I am wrong. Although in this case I think it is more because of the actual definition of the word and my misuse of it.

As to these womens experiences that I know of, these are first hand accounts of what it is to be an escort, surely first hand accounts mean more than what people assume is the situation

Jimmychoo escorting is not done around the children of escorts or in thier own abode. Unless they are living by themselves or with other escorts. So there would be no children present. And yes, things could happen to her but that is possible in other jobs too. Or you could just be a random member of the public and be mudered, you don't have to be an escort for that to happen.

People do much seedier and awful things than having consentual sex for money.

Besides, I was not just talking about the government, I was also talking about religious people of power, consultants who advise world leaders etc...

claig, a witness experiences something through their own senses, first hand.

Hearsay evidence is when someone stands between that experience and the peron who has directly experienced something and then merely relays it.

I'd bet my bottom dollar that these women are from Punternet and mrspock is a punter.

They will be on there now calling us all men haters and how vicious we are.

How come its so easy to become a member on here. And join to cause a row, yet we wouldn't we allowed to post on their forum? I would if I could and I'd have plenty to say.

This is a very short but informative article: www.prostitutescollective.net/Observer_Claire_Finch_Case_etc.htm

ok thanks that makes sense. So it all comes down to who the listening authority is, as to whether somebody's account is considered hearsay or not? If someone tells me something that happened to them, I would consider that valid witness evidence, but my say-so doesn't count for much, whereas somebody making a statement to a police officer has much more authority?

carmen why would members of punternet go out of their way to do that? It does not make sense to draw attention to themselves on a forum such as this one.

No one is causing a row, the fact that you see it that way shows more about your attittude towards this discussion than other peoples IMO.

It is not causing a row to differ in opinion and defend what you think.

claig, someone disclosing something to you as an experience they have had does have value in terms of sexual assault cases, for example. A police officer would gather that material from you to show what you have experienced(ie. someone told you something they had experienced).

This gets watered down when someone tells you something that they have been told (so you can't reliably judge its validity?)

Very interesting. So if someone tells me that they like their work, whatever that may be, then I am entitled to believe them and not treat their statement as just hearsay?

Otherwise, how can we judge the truth of any fact or statement, unless it is challenged in a court of law?

But even if you put what I have been told aside, there are countless women who work in the industry, or organizations that support these women, who are working to regulate it and who openly want to be what they are. If thats the case then why should they be villified for it?

LDN, posters from Punternet have definitely come over to MN on occasion just for a bit of "devilry"

a the time, their threads on Punternet detailing exactly how and when were outed

never underestimate the lengths of fuckwittery a nobber with a bit of time on their hands will go to

you are quite naive , I think, even with all your talk of informed choices

Ah ok, Rhadegunde, well I am not from punternet, been a regular user for a few weeks now and I recognise other people here from other threads too so doubt they are Punternetters TBH. Good to know though!

cross posted with rhad