I have never in my life experienced someone in a restaurant refusing to pay their fair share

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it was so embarrassing ended up with me and Friend B paying over the odds to make up for it

Chinese so all sharing all dishes, china tea, prawn crackers etc

Family A - Mum (not eating but drinks tea), Dad (only ordered soup, but gorged on everything else on table)and 18 year old

Family B - 2 adults

and US - 2 adults, 2 kids (one a 6 year old who barely eats)

Family A mum said he only ordered soup so we're only paying for one adult

divided by 8 (there were 9 of us but she didn't eat) bill was just under £20 each

she said we only pay for what we ordered
she repeated it despite minor protestations that he'd eaten everything - her 18 year old was mortified

I ended up paying £80, Family B paid £50 and Family A £20

am still aghast

would you do it? would you say anything after the fact? am so tempted to email and say wtf were you thinking you fucking freak (she a relative not a friend)

It's comforting that everyone seems to have tightarse friends/family.

DH and I do. We went out for a cheap Thai meal with them once and when it came to paying the bill, they refused to split it 50/50 because they had tap water and we had a glass of lemonade each

I wish I'd pointed out the fact that I'd had a (cheaper) vegetarian dish, whereas they both had meat. Instead I spluttered and hissed into DH's ear "are they fucking joking?"

minxofmancunia - reading your story about your sister and the home made tartlets nearly made me choke! I would have bloody eaten one as well.

some didn't stay for the meal, one flew by after having already grace 3 other couples with his presence on their wedding day and was on his way to one more after ours.

Cards are 2 for a pound by me, what about some lovely written words as well as their presence?

Presents, I want presents, even it's a goat sponsored in Ethiopia!

'I want more Cheap Bret stories.'

CheapBret clubbed in with two other guys to purchase a tent that was about $2000.

They had a permit to do a 8000m peak and you need a tent like that for it.

Now many climbers at this level are quite professional. The other two guys were a) the actuary b) another engineer.

Of course, you have to practice with the tent before you go, ideally in the worst winter conditions you can, to make sure you have the hang of it before you're in The Death Zone trying to get it up.

So they go to do Mt. Columbia, a long '14'er) (4000m+ peak) in February and take the tent.

In a huge windstorm, it was blown out of their hands and took off for sites greener like a parapente.

Shit.

The actuary found out he could actually claim it on his homeowner's insurance. Bonus.

But of course, there's the excess fee.

Engineer shows up Tuesday evening at the climbing gym, hands actuary a cheque for 1/3 of the fee.

CheapBret stays silent.

Engineer says, 'Hey, man, didn't you bring your chequebook?'

CheapBret pretends to be astonished he might actually have to pay 1/3 of $500 for a tent that he'll be living in for 2 months.

I dread to think what I'd have done with 400+ wedding cards..........oh yes - I know - they'd have been left behind when we emigrated to (back to for me) the UK

My DS1 has a friend who regularly checks out my larder and uses my phone but when DS1 goes to his house, he gets offered nowt.

When out with the group, CheapBret would always order himself a pitcher of Coors, the rankest and cheapest excuse for beer in Colorado, as that way he wouldn't have to share, because all the rest were beer snobs.

Then we started hanging out with TradMatt and his British climbing partner, MancTony, who would purposely drink Coors in his presence so they could all share pitchers :o.

I remember a long time ago going to a meal with a bunch of friends, it was for a hen night out...I was skint and so just made an excuse to stay for the meal and then duck out..

I had £15 and so I chose to drive and not drink, I left out the starter and had just the main course...they were ordering bottles of wine all through the meal but I stayed on water >...by the end of the meal they were all tipsy and agreed to split the bill...I tried to explain that I have only got £15 and had probably not spent £15 but was happy to put that amount in as I had udgetted for spending it all but was told it works out to £25 each.....Worst night of my life I felt like crying and really never bothered with any of them again...I had to sneak out under the excuse that I had money in the car and run to the nearest chas point...

Horrible horrible night, no good trying to negotiate with the rest of the table as they were all drunk and all thought I was trying to duck out of paying ....I didnt even have a dessert

When BIL's mate comes to ours, he's never off the PC. 'It must be so nice to have broadband.'

Yes, you cheap ass, it is.

Expat

I had a friend wo used to smoke the longest foulest cheapest cigarettes ...just so he didnt have to share them as he knew no self respecting smoker would entertain them

stoppinatwo that was mean of them.
I think I would have slammed it on the table and said 'take it or leave it!'

seems very cheeky. are they really tight for cash and maybe a bit embarrassed to admit it? not that that is really an excuse but it might be the real reason she was only drinking tea and was so adamant about their tiny share. did the 18 year old eat anything?

'I had to sneak out under the excuse that I had money in the car and run to the nearest chas point...'

Why didn't you just not go back in after you sneaked out?

I would.

I don't get this idea of paying to cover a meal. You're supposed to pay for the wedding,with possibly some help from one's parents. You're the one who wants to get married so why shouldn't you pay for it?

That said I'd never show up to a wedding without a gift,but I certainly wouldn't expect to have to cover my meal.

Surely you ask people there because you want them to share your day with you,not to try to get back some of the money you spent?

stoppin, I have a mate who smokes menthols for that reason.

Letthereberock that was said tongue in cheek. But where is their common decency?

I know it was mean of them but for some reason I thoughtthat just one of them would say ..hang on S@2 isnt being tight she really didnt have that much to eat...but nooooo ...I should hav dissappeared off into the night true, but you live and learn...I think the point someone made earlier rings true though....Always sort out at the atrat of a meal how you are gonna pay at the end....and contractual organised as it seems now, Ive learnt the hard and sad way and always make it clear.

Sullwah... I agree with you. It's not mandatory to give Wedding presents and cards but it is manners to do so. If you've been invited to the wedding itself, etiquette dictates that you should send a present and card even if you can't go.

It's lovely to have wedding presents and be able to smile when you think of the person who have you that particular cutlery or that particular vase (even if it's hideously not to your taste).

Melikalikimaka... Your guests were mean not to bring a present and a card, they should have. I know that many couples nowadays arrange the weddings for themselves and perhaps it's the advent of the 'wedding list' that has made people feel that they don't want to buy presents anymore? Mean anyway if they don't, weddings are expensive and it's just consideration that should work both ways.

Hullygully... I know what you mean, it makes you start bringing yourself down to their level.

s@2 I hate fuckers who do that - surely at least the people sitting next to you would realise how little you had eaten? I am a massive fan of splitting the bill equally as a general rule but when I say that, it's because my friends are generally quite good about owning up to extra courses or more wine etc and putting in an extra £5, £10 etc. (except one couple which I posted about earlier).

As various others have pointed out, it's the knowledge that with some cheap people that it is sort of pre-meditated, either ordering v expensive stuff on the assumption that other people will subsidise or, or trying to wriggle out of paying for what they've enjoyed, that really troubles me. And before anyone says that true friends don't do that - surely people go out for dinner in groups with friends of friends, etc?

I think I've posted about this before but I had a spoiled brat of a friend at school who had major health problems and as a result was used to people doing everything for her or not being called up on it. She used to wait until the bill was paid, with tips, by the rest of us (we only ate in cheap places while still at school obviously) and then try to get away with not paying everything. Fortunately this habit was beaten out of her at university, but I could never get over it, especially as she did some waitressing herself and knew how important tips were.

whoops that should be spoiled brat of a friend, that's what I get for trying to be clever with formatting

Going slightly off subject I went on a holiday with two female friends and my DH drove us to the airport - even using my 'guzzler' instead of his diesel so we would have more comfort/space etc - and saved us over £200 between us which was the cost of a taxi one way. He insisted on not taking any money off either of them as he wouldnt have taken money off me and would have taken me anyway.

On the way back one of my 'friends' checked us all in together even though we had been warned on the connecting coach that 'parties' luggage are weighed together so if one of a group had excess weight they would have to pay it between them as they werent interested who's luggage was over individually.

So my friend before I could say anything checked us all in together - she and other friend had been buying shoes and handbags etc etc like they were going out of fashion btw whereas I hadnt bought anything save a few fridge magnets and had also dumped all my half empty toiletries so was probably lighter than outgoing journey if anything.

So the check-in operator wanted 40 euros extra from us. My other friend immediately offered up £20 saying she knew it was their excess and not mine. But this 'friend' got really shirty and insisted I should pay half of her half IYSWIM - saying it was all our excess together. The checkout even confirmed this saying 'yes yes is for everybody in group to pay' which made her even worse. I tried to reason with her that the woman meant its all of our responsibiity - she wasnt saying we all had excess weight.

Anyway we ended up having a stand up row in the airport after she paid the other £20 and then announced that I 'owed' her 10 euros - I didnt have euros on me then. I rang my DH in tears and told him about it and he was livid. When we got to the airport he was waiting for us and he gave her £10 and said 'Theres your tenner Suda 'owes' you - the taxi ranks over there !

I believe her taxi cost her £110 - never spoken to her since.

Sorry for hijack btw and the taxi was £100 each way obviously I meant to say.

Good for your DH, Suda... she was obviously still expecting a lift home then? It's amazing how some don't think of others at all whilst their counterparts do so many things to make their lives easier.

Yeah i know - but it was the indignation of it that got to me and she got really angry and shouty with me and flounced off in the overseas airport and they both left me alone till boarding - the other one was really just tagging along with her as I think she didnt want her wrath aswell IYSWIM. But my DH is a very very pigheaded fucker strong minded character and when I rang him in tears he said there was no way she was getting in the car - end of - I even pleaded with him to still take her home but he wouldnt.

You would have regretted it if you'd talked him into it, Suda. Hopefully it's taught her a lesson. Did the other girl not mind incurring her friend's wrath then by going home with you and your DH?

If not, it just shows how petty they both were and it was mean to leave you on your own.

If I'd been your DH, I would have dumped both of them and taken you off for a nice lunch somewhere.

My DB who is merciless would however have dumped Bitch No. 1, watched her go off in the taxi and then dumped Lesser Bitch No. 2... but he's wicked.