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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to REALLY hope this man's partner joins Mumnset

413 replies

MmeLindt · 03/02/2011 12:40

Why I hate Mumsnet

First, I would like to congratulate the blogger on the forthcoming happy event. I wish him and his partner all the best for the birth of their first child.

If his partner decides to join MN, she will learn:

The Vernacular
that we use abbreviations as a time-saving tool, so that we have more time for discussing banalities. These are not only common to Mumsnet (MN) but to almost all fora.

"My DH is working away tuesday til friday. DH rang PIL and asked them if they could come and mind DCs (x3)". Another example: "AIBU to be annoyed that PIL agreed to mind my DC and then went back on it??"

  • the first poster states that her husband (DarlingHusband = DH) is working away and that he asked Parents-In-Laws (PILS) if they could come and mind the three children (DarlingChildren = DC). She then asks if she is being unreasonable (AIBU = Am I being unreasonable) to be annoyed that my parents in laws agreed to mind my children then went back on it?

hth (Hope this Helps)

The Banality
If she looks a little further, she will certainly find posts about dishwashers, and pearl barley, but also intellectual discussions about feminism, foreign affairs, literature (and we are NOT talking chick lit here). Even the most highbrow of poster wants to slum it on AIBU sometimes though.

I would hope that blogger's partner never has problems with their children - since his response to a woman enquiring about her child's (DC) incontinence problems is to suggest that she spends less time on MN.

The Stupid Suggestions For Campaigns
she might wonder about the anti-JL MN campaign since most posters have never heard of it. Just because one poster has an idea, it does not mean that the whole board takes up the cry. There are always discussions about the merits of any campaigns, particularly the official ones.

Lack of Reply
If the blogger's DP (that is DarlingPartner, by the way) does post on MN she will hopefully be relieved that MN does not allow their posters to be spammed by companies. There have been a few instances where posters have complained about a product, and the company has posted a message apologising and requesting that the poster contact them. I have never seen these offers being deleted or discouraged by MNHQ (that is Mumsnet Headquarters)

The blogger's DP of course would never have to do this, as she has her DH available to ensure that she does not misunderstand the instructions of the product.

Lack of Moderation
The blogger's DP will hopefully enjoy the lack of moderation - or rather the advantages offered by self-moderation. There may be times when a poster gives out of date advice, but this is normally noticed by the other posters. And if not, anyone who relies on the advice of strangers on an internet forum in order to make decisions such as those posed by the nuchal fold test, they should not be in charge of a puppy, much less a child. Most posters will link to websites such as NHS24, or other sites that are checked for accuracy rather than spouting inaccurate advice.

I am very glad that he is not calling for the site to be closed down. His DP may well be in need of it in the not so distant future, when she starts a thread entitled,

"AIBU to think my DP is an idiot?"

OP posts:
JamieLeeCurtis · 03/02/2011 13:31

'uman naycher ain't it Hecate. Social Psychologists did studies in the 60s and 70s about group dynamics - people were divided into groups along totally random lines, were told they'd been allocated according to which of 2 artists they preferred.

Then they were given lots of tasks to do and it wasn't long before people started dissing the other group, making statements and assumptions about the ways in which the other group was different to them. All based on nothing (see: Netmums vs MN, world religions etc etc)

Disclaimer - this is all based on stuff I learned 20 years ago, which may or may not be factually correct

JamieLeeCurtis · 03/02/2011 13:32

or what the rest of you said

Original poster
MmeLindt · 03/02/2011 13:33

Exactly, Eleison.

Look at Baby Bottom Cream. Or Babyliss Big Hair.

You cannot create that kind of publicity - someone on a forum saying, "Has anyone tried this product, it is really good" and then others trying it and agreeing, so that it snowballs and the product sells out nationwide.

When an advertising campaign goes "viral" is is often as much a surprise to the agency as to anyone else.

OP posts:
Hullygully · 03/02/2011 13:35

I agree with him.

It isn't fair that people express their opinions about his clients' products because er, it's a bit annoying and that.

thumbdabwitch · 03/02/2011 13:36

Jolly good response there, MmeL. The man is afeared of the Power of MN and Mums in General, by the sound of it - no wonder he hopes his partner doesn't come on here, she might learn how to put him back in his box!

I am NOT googling "chelping" but I would like to know if it is in the same bracket as dragonbutter and spacedocking - that is all I need to know about it. Thank you.

Grandhighpoohba · 03/02/2011 13:38

I'm really impressed that an Ipod knows "chelping." My phone doesn't even recognise fuck.

It's very generous of him not to call for MN to be shut down, as clearly he is in charge of the internet.

And how dare we use the internet for banal chat. Clearly once we reproduce, we should only be concerned with serious matters which effect our children.

OTheHugeManatee · 03/02/2011 13:39

It just occurred to me that his strategy might have been to post some MN bait so as to get more traffic to his site and a high-traffic link, and thus boost his search engine rankings.

If that's the case, the only suitable punishment for posting such nonsense is to get the link to his blog post removed so he doesn't benefit from it.

OTHM

JamieLeeCurtis · 03/02/2011 13:42

no - chelping is definitely a few notches down from those other two

I will say this: it involves pee pee and willies

jenroy29 · 03/02/2011 13:44

Someone mentioned the act in a thread about a nintendo ds stylus replacement, can't find it again though, off to do more googling as my vocab is repidly expanding!

jenroy29 · 03/02/2011 13:47

rapidly sorry, now to delete browser history before Mr jenroy sees!

thumbdabwitch · 03/02/2011 13:50

jenroy, I think that thread was in chat - unless it got moved to Classics, it will probably have been deleted by now :(. It was brilliant, though!

OK, I might brave it... should I?

JENROY DO NOT GOOGLE DRAGONBUTTER!!! Seriously!

deepdarkwood · 03/02/2011 13:50

I'm surprised he has an issue with 'uninformed consumer generated content' given that one of the services his gang offers is monitoring how brands are being talked about online.

Psammead · 03/02/2011 13:52

I find it a little insulting that 'outsiders' so often write about mumsnetters as if we are one, huge, homogeneous lump.

We are not! The only thing we can truly say we all have in common is that we all have access to the internet in one form or another. Everything else, well, if you look hard enough you will find anything you want to in mumsnet.

Bitching, trolling, bad advice, banality, friendship, concern, helpfulness, wit, intelligence, etc etc. We have everything in one measure or other.

It makes us an easy target because you will find a lot of crap here if you dig. It is what you want it to be.

It also makes me cross that he thinks that a few people giving outdated or bad advice are going to cause the rest of us to follow, sheeplike and be misled. We are intelligent adults. We don't necessarily believe something just cause someone on the net said it was true Hmm just like I wouldn't take the advice of a woman at the office without giving it due consideration.

I also don't like the abbreviations, but it a very trivial thing to pick on and once you have got the hang on them, they read just as easily as longhand.

jenroy29 · 03/02/2011 13:52

Thanks thumb but you were too late, I'm scarred!

thumbdabwitch · 03/02/2011 13:52

OK, I googled chelping - am no longer surprised that iPod recognised it, as it probably picked up on its far less interesting meaning of "crying". And you're right, JLC - nowhere near as bad as the other two I mentioned. Grin

thumbdabwitch · 03/02/2011 13:53

Sorry jenroy - forgot to say it in my first post - hope you didn't google the other one either... Blush

Grin
Grandhighpoohba · 03/02/2011 13:54

Maybe MNHQ could hire him to erase their brand pain. Then every time the Daily Fail bitches about us, he could spend his working day spamming their comments board with nice positive comments about us all.

JamieLeeCurtis · 03/02/2011 13:56

Psammead - that's part of group psychology as well (see boring post above which, I notice, nobody responded to). To encourage group cohesion, group members emphasise intra-group similarities, and down-play intra-group differences.

JamieLeeCurtis · 03/02/2011 13:57

Oh, and emphasise inter-group differences

Original poster
MmeLindt · 03/02/2011 13:59

Oh, look. He is called Graeme.

Hi Graeme. We know you are reading. Come and chat.

OP posts:
Original poster
MmeLindt · 03/02/2011 14:00

I read it. Jamie. It reminded me of the blue eyes/brown eyes experiments about racism.

OP posts:
JamieLeeCurtis · 03/02/2011 14:01

yes Mme - you did psychology too?

Hi Graeme!! Nice name - must suggest that on Baby Names - very under-used

thumbdabwitch · 03/02/2011 14:02

oh ah, I read about that blue eyes/brown eyes experiment - it was quite shocking! Didn't they do it on quite young children?

jenroy29 · 03/02/2011 14:03

Prefer the spelling Graham phonics

softglowsandmaybes · 03/02/2011 14:05

yep - he is a twat! lol i wonder, can we send him this thread to his blog? It reads like what really gets his goat is that we are consumers who actually might form an opinion of a product that he is marketing that isn't what his company might try and force down our throatds.

Banality ? Well fuck me, what is life without it - constant drama thats what - give me banal any day of the week!