to REALLY hope this man's partner joins Mumnset

[MmeLindt]

Why I hate Mumsnet

First, I would like to congratulate the blogger on the forthcoming happy event. I wish him and his partner all the best for the birth of their first child.

If his partner decides to join MN, she will learn:

The Vernacular
that we use abbreviations as a time-saving tool, so that we have more time for discussing banalities. These are not only common to Mumsnet (MN) but to almost all fora.

"My DH is working away tuesday til friday. DH rang PIL and asked them if they could come and mind DCs (x3)". Another example: "AIBU to be annoyed that PIL agreed to mind my DC and then went back on it??"

• the first poster states that her husband (DarlingHusband = DH) is working away and that he asked Parents-In-Laws (PILS) if they could come and mind the three children (DarlingChildren = DC). She then asks if she is being unreasonable (AIBU = Am I being unreasonable) to be annoyed that my parents in laws agreed to mind my children then went back on it?

hth (Hope this Helps)

The Banality
If she looks a little further, she will certainly find posts about dishwashers, and pearl barley, but also intellectual discussions about feminism, foreign affairs, literature (and we are NOT talking chick lit here). Even the most highbrow of poster wants to slum it on AIBU sometimes though.

I would hope that blogger's partner never has problems with their children - since his response to a woman enquiring about her child's (DC) incontinence problems is to suggest that she spends less time on MN.

The Stupid Suggestions For Campaigns
she might wonder about the anti-JL MN campaign since most posters have never heard of it. Just because one poster has an idea, it does not mean that the whole board takes up the cry. There are always discussions about the merits of any campaigns, particularly the official ones.

Lack of Reply
If the blogger's DP (that is DarlingPartner, by the way) does post on MN she will hopefully be relieved that MN does not allow their posters to be spammed by companies. There have been a few instances where posters have complained about a product, and the company has posted a message apologising and requesting that the poster contact them. I have never seen these offers being deleted or discouraged by MNHQ (that is Mumsnet Headquarters)

The blogger's DP of course would never have to do this, as she has her DH available to ensure that she does not misunderstand the instructions of the product.

Lack of Moderation
The blogger's DP will hopefully enjoy the lack of moderation - or rather the advantages offered by self-moderation. There may be times when a poster gives out of date advice, but this is normally noticed by the other posters. And if not, anyone who relies on the advice of strangers on an internet forum in order to make decisions such as those posed by the nuchal fold test, they should not be in charge of a puppy, much less a child. Most posters will link to websites such as NHS24, or other sites that are checked for accuracy rather than spouting inaccurate advice.

I am very glad that he is not calling for the site to be closed down. His DP may well be in need of it in the not so distant future, when she starts a thread entitled,

"AIBU to think my DP is an idiot?"

In light of this thread I am name changing

Bye bye ChinaCup; hello BanalChelping

I really hope this man comes on MN and talks to us real consumers.

I have a (male) friend that works in a consumer goods firm. He is quite long in the tooth by hs own admission and he is totally aghast at what his young thrusting marketing execs do and how they think the world works.

He says that the main problem is that his young marketing execs listen to smooth talking advertising people and PR people and think that consumers are mindless units of consumption that can be manipulated into buying things.

Its a myth that these people peddle to their clients. They tell their clients that by establishing a presence on the internet to influence special types of consumers called 'early adopters' and 'influencers' they can drive sales.

In practice, what drives sales is low price, good quality and great service. Good products will generate positive news flow and positive comments on MN. Its the kind of uncontrollable truth telling on MN that really runs against what adverting and PR people want their clients to believe.

It woudl be far far better to feed the truth back to clients and tell them how to change that public opinion with a product improvement in response to criticism. No amount of adverts or PR can make a product better than it is.

Apologes for typos.

BanalChelping

I like the word chelping. It was used a lot when I was a child. Dont hear it much these days. "Gabby"

i thought it contained some fair points actually.

Name them kepler

Beta - I like that. It should be our motto "Mumsnet : Purveyors of Uncontrollable Truth-Telling"

Groan, just sounds like some idiot patriarchal twit who can't stand women talking. God forbid we sit around and conspire against the men and have opinions of our own. Or we could end up infecting the whole world with our nonsense and feebleness and who would want that.

He's been invited on to this thread, but hasn't arrived ... I guess he considers "right to reply" a better idea in principle than in practice ...

AIBU to really dislike "marketing professionals" lame efforts to sell us stuff via the interweb and in particular all their vacuous jargon trying to make themselves sound all scientific and knowledgable "consumer generated content" etc

it really pisses me off that people like that and their clients think they can twist Mumsnet and other sites into becoming a massive advertising billboard.

there may be uninformed advice on Mumsnet but who is he to decide what is "dangerous"? there are plenty of companies making money from baby products which could be "dangerous" like cot bumpers and baby walkers. I bet he'd happily take their dollar for a bit of viral marketing work or some other such wank speak.

uninformed advice? Is that a bit like saying "rubbing this expensive paste full of microgranule-pepta-geno-ninkynonks into your thighs will get rid of cellulite" or "NEW! fat free sugar. Buy now and claim your free trial pack of guaranteed sugar free lard!!!!!!"

BTW I just googled microgranule-pepta-geno-ninkynonks and it's utterly filthy.

ziptoes

IHe has points in that posts on Mumsnet are sometimes banal or misinformed, but then (a) that's true of individual remarks in almost any conversational setting (certainly of social chitchat when I worked in an office) and (b) on MN there's a greater chance of someone's turning the banal into the very funny or telling the purveyor of misinformation that he/he is talking out of his/her arse than there generally is in real life. So on those points his gripes seems to be with human nature in general rather than with MN in particular.

And the abbreviations can be offputting, but I think all, or virtually all, of the abbreviations on MN are common to the Internet as a whole, or certainly to parenting sites as a sub-category. In fact MN uses significantly fewer abbreviations and euphemisms than most similar sites - by and large you'll look in vain here for mention of BD to indicate sex with the intention of procreation, or "baby dust" as an expression of comradeship and good wishes.

I suppose "why I dislike people and the Internet" wouldn't have been such a great blog title post for someone who makes his living trying to influence consumers online, though...

Anyway, he and his partner are clearly going to spend the next 18 years discussing Kirkegaard rather than anything banal like nappies or sleep routines or interesting rashes. But if that resolution slips and he checks out Netmums his eyeballs are going to BLEED.

I'm quite new to MN, and the use of the acronyms can be a bit hard to get used to, but hey I coped!

Some times I have posted replies to threads, that I've been interested in only to find that I'm in the middle of a load of MNers who obviously 'know' each other, and feel a little intimidated , but yes I've added the sum of my knowledge to some threads, and I hope that I've given some support to a mum who needs it. Most of us have had problems that we can't/don't want to share with our nearest and dearest, and putting up a 'worry' on a thread can be a great way of getting our feelings 'out there' and usually some reassurance or experience will help to assuage our worries.

So this man, who feels the need to vent his spleen, on his own blog obviously has never needed support or advice from anyone in his life, how sad ! Perhaps he is worried that his partner will become a MNer and get advice from anyone who is not him?

So what made him read a thread in the first place I wonder?????

Hello Angels.

We were all newbies once and didn't know anyone. I still would not say I "know" many here - I recognise lots of names, and have met a handful of MNetters.

Actually, AIBU to think that if someone is taking actual money from brands to represent them to parents on the Internet then gaining a certain familiarity with the lingual franca of parenting sites would be a good move, rather than complaining about it? Or maybe I'm hopelessly out of touch and there are, for example, loads of professional brand marketing people out there complaining that they can't understand a word teenagers say these days and don't see why they can't use standard English, while expecting to be paid to communicate with the teenage market.

Bugger. Autocorrect decided to change lingua to lingual. Typing on a phone really makes me appreciate the utility of abbreviations.

I also particularly enjoyed the bit where he suggests children wet themselves because their mothers are online.

That's true though isn't it? My Dcs never had a wee until I joined MN! I thought everyone had the same experience!

Thank you all for showing interest in my blog and particular thanks to MmeLindt for the congratulations.

I am not going to respond to every single point in every single post that has been written in response to my blog as it would result in my writing a reply that would be far too long for anyone to bother reading. I am very surprised about the amount of commentary my blog has generated and thank you for discussing it even if you disagree with me.

I?d like to make the following points in no particular order:

I have noticed several posts in response to my blog along the lines of ?women and their pesky opinions? or ?women know your place? I am not a sexist. My blog article isn?t sexist. I am sure there are a fair proportion of men also participating in the site and my views apply to them as much as to women.

Yes my company does work to influence consumer attitudes. We do so legally. We do not and will not pretend to be a private individual when talking about companies, products or services. Nor will we work with every company. If you look at the corporate responsibility part of our website you will see that we state ?We will not work with companies in the tobacco or arms industries, nor with those who market products to under 12's that may be considered undesirable by their parents?.

I don?t wish to have my team ?come on here and tell us why the brands that are paying him are so much better than the one's we're recommending to each other?. I am not looking for a place where my clients can advertise for free, but I do wish that we had the option to correct inaccuracies when they appear; I would like companies to be able to have the right to reply. (At this point I should explain that we have previously worked with Britax, Maxi-Cosi and Quinny though none of these are current clients). Perhaps it would be better to describe what we seek to do as educating consumers about brands?

I feel strongly about the lack of moderation. I am sure that self-moderation works for some topics, however Mumsnet has considerable influence and a very high number of unique visitors per month ? approximately 1.4 million. If only 2% of those visitors pay attention to incorrect medical advice that is 28,000 visitors a month who are being told the wrong thing. I think that is dangerous.

I don?t read the Daily Mail so have no idea what they have said about Mumsnet. The views I have expressed are my own and are not copied from what other people may have said about the site.

I am surprised that a couple of people have decided to comment on my appearance ? how does how I look alter the validity of my opinions?

Lastly ? thank you for introducing me to the phrase ?chelping?.

Best wishes.

Graeme

PS - Bogeyface ? please don?t worry about me getting sacked. I own Brand Reputation and I am quite happy with my own job performance so I won?t be sacking myself (and Truffkin I hope I haven?t used brackets too many times for you).

oh fgs - how sad that we can't even talk about what washing powder we prefer now without someone moaning about it

graeme just join mn then every time one of your brands gets slated post in it's defence

sorted

how sad that you want to ban free speech

Graeme

Thanks for coming on and sharing your views with us.

I would like to know how you come to the conclusion that there are so many inaccuracies on the website? The impression that I have is that they are, in the main, challenged by other posters.

And again - do you really think that there are people who look for information about nuchal fold test and would rely on the post of a person on Mumsnet to help them make such an important decision? If we are talking life-and-death scenarios, not if the Kitchenaid is a 8 speed mixer or a 10 speed mixer.

I think some of us feel "strongly" about the lack of moderation too: we love it! It's so lovely not having people coming in from outside and telling us what we can and can't say. And we're not a target market, we're people: mucking about, helping each other, pissing each other off, bouncing ideas off each other and laughing at random stuff (sometimes involving Terry Wogan) generally FOR FREE.

Imagine.

"If only 2% of those visitors pay attention to incorrect medical advice" - I seriously doubt that they do.

1. There isn't that much incorrect medical advice here - please point out any you can spot, but its a great rarity.

2.Very few of the posters are even looking for medical advice

1. The medical sections are clearly labelled "Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications, experience, or professional qualifications of anyone posting on Mumsnet Talk and cannot be held responsible for any advice given on the site. If you have any serious medical concerns we would urge you to consult your GP."

So you are possibly talking about an occasional person getting an occasional bit of bad medical advice. I agree that's a bad thing, but it hardly makes it urgent for MN to change from self-moderated to moderated, with all the change that would bring.

I, for one, would not wish to be part of a moderated site!

Hi Graeme,

Could you link to an "incorrect piece of medical advice"?

Hi Graeme,

I can understand that as an campaigner for brand awareness that it must be frustrating for you not to be able to rectify perceived inaccuracies or even misconceptions about those you represent. I've worked with FMCG and telcom brands myself and yes, it would be marvellous to come and defend brands from every slight I see against them on consumer sites.

But that's not how digital consumer media works, is it? I would never dream of getting in a big huff on my company blog about it - I respect the contributors to sites such as MN and realise how powerful and influential they are. How can you not?!