to REALLY hope this man's partner joins Mumnset

[MmeLindt]

Why I hate Mumsnet

First, I would like to congratulate the blogger on the forthcoming happy event. I wish him and his partner all the best for the birth of their first child.

If his partner decides to join MN, she will learn:

The Vernacular
that we use abbreviations as a time-saving tool, so that we have more time for discussing banalities. These are not only common to Mumsnet (MN) but to almost all fora.

"My DH is working away tuesday til friday. DH rang PIL and asked them if they could come and mind DCs (x3)". Another example: "AIBU to be annoyed that PIL agreed to mind my DC and then went back on it??"

• the first poster states that her husband (DarlingHusband = DH) is working away and that he asked Parents-In-Laws (PILS) if they could come and mind the three children (DarlingChildren = DC). She then asks if she is being unreasonable (AIBU = Am I being unreasonable) to be annoyed that my parents in laws agreed to mind my children then went back on it?

hth (Hope this Helps)

The Banality
If she looks a little further, she will certainly find posts about dishwashers, and pearl barley, but also intellectual discussions about feminism, foreign affairs, literature (and we are NOT talking chick lit here). Even the most highbrow of poster wants to slum it on AIBU sometimes though.

I would hope that blogger's partner never has problems with their children - since his response to a woman enquiring about her child's (DC) incontinence problems is to suggest that she spends less time on MN.

The Stupid Suggestions For Campaigns
she might wonder about the anti-JL MN campaign since most posters have never heard of it. Just because one poster has an idea, it does not mean that the whole board takes up the cry. There are always discussions about the merits of any campaigns, particularly the official ones.

Lack of Reply
If the blogger's DP (that is DarlingPartner, by the way) does post on MN she will hopefully be relieved that MN does not allow their posters to be spammed by companies. There have been a few instances where posters have complained about a product, and the company has posted a message apologising and requesting that the poster contact them. I have never seen these offers being deleted or discouraged by MNHQ (that is Mumsnet Headquarters)

The blogger's DP of course would never have to do this, as she has her DH available to ensure that she does not misunderstand the instructions of the product.

Lack of Moderation
The blogger's DP will hopefully enjoy the lack of moderation - or rather the advantages offered by self-moderation. There may be times when a poster gives out of date advice, but this is normally noticed by the other posters. And if not, anyone who relies on the advice of strangers on an internet forum in order to make decisions such as those posed by the nuchal fold test, they should not be in charge of a puppy, much less a child. Most posters will link to websites such as NHS24, or other sites that are checked for accuracy rather than spouting inaccurate advice.

I am very glad that he is not calling for the site to be closed down. His DP may well be in need of it in the not so distant future, when she starts a thread entitled,

"AIBU to think my DP is an idiot?"

I wonder if he's reading this, tempted to sign up and burn us all.

Oh perhaps he was the one to start the AIBU "passive aggressive" thread (?)

Link?!

Gosh - what an amazing thread I missed when RL intruded. Takes me back to the old Garry Lacey days - see he got mentioned somewhere down there too. Love the limericks! But had forgotten chelping until I read this thread again and now i have remembered it .

Don't forget - we really need a few more odes and pomes.

Brand Pain

it

makes

my

brain

ache

women who natter like their opinions matter

sinking

..........into

.................the

......................comfort

of a beautiful thread.

My brain aches.
Until it is dead.

V gd Bof.

Shall I compare thee to a Branded Pain?
Thou art more costly, and more badly made.
Rough winds do shake the footsie trade
And too cold the eye of woman doth judge

A brand man is getting his ear bent
by women (a monstrous regiment).
While we are a bunch of vipers
While our babes are in diapers
We will still rhyme with copious merriment.

U r my hero

U r my hero my saviour and my knight
I read your blog and suddenly it occured to me - your right.
This place is shit. I don't no how I was blind to it b4
Let me explain, if you'll allow, before I find the door.
I aint got a clue what they all mean with their DH DS DD.
It just aint English is it? They wanna talk proper, like me.
And the stuff they chat about, well, it makes my temples ache
All politics and feminism and not enuff Take A Break.
And there's no1 what deletes stuff when people disagree
It all just leads to debate and that aint my cup of tea.
And then they start telling shops what kids clothes they should sell,
Well, if I wanna wear a mini why can't my toddler as well?
And those poor big companies they slag off just cause their stuff is lame,
It aint fair on them to redesign and have to up their game.
Its best all round if they shut up and find a mag to read
So you and your fine company can sell things we dont need.

Bravo

Grey Grey (because you are being the teeniest bit bland in not replying)

Seeeee

This is F U N

...not banal.

I work in marketing. (In consumer insight). I also run my own business.

I have had the misfortune on many occasions to come across people like Graeme, who are so arrogant that they actually believe they are superior to their consumers. Heaven forfend that they should actually listen or take note of their views.

And if they dare to have views that are at odds with those of the agency, then they are clearly very wrong.

And so it is with Mumsnet. We aren't all writhing around in ecstasy about his clients' products all the time and we dare to voice negative opinions. Sometimes, as with all things, our opinions will be wrong.

It doesn't matter if they are wildly wrong or horribly negative - this is your customer speaking and you should be listening to them, not trying to patronise them by correcting them and shutting them up

There are many fabulous people on MN, and the level of wit, knowledge and empathy on display here on a daily basis (for those who bother to read the boards properly) is often astounding.

It is you, Graeme, who should be patronised by us, not the other way round.

Oh, and get a proper copywriter/proof-reader to have a go at your website. The number of mistakes is shocking.

A Graeme gave forth on his blog
That Mumsnet had left him agog
Our collective disdain,
For his trademarked brand pain
Seems to have put him off more dialogue.

jolly gd cakey

biwi - wheres yer pome?

Welcome to Mumsnet
Graeme we feel your brand pain
No moderators

There was a young man in blogland
Who wanted to sell us his products and
Got upset with our posts
And gave us a roast
But couldn't understand why on earth his blog was incredibly patronising and ignorant.

Sorry. That may not scan terribly well.

But terribly poignant nonetheless

Apologies Graeme I spelt your name wrong in my previous post... because I just couldn't give a shit enough to look it up after reading your drivel.

And because I will never need to commission the services of a brand manager who understands neither consumers nor internet usage.

I aim to please, Hully

If only Gray Gray did

God what a plonker

Worry not ladies!

When the zombies invade he'll be in for some serious brand pain. Mumsnet dh's are all up to date with the plan.

He's probably pissed off because he lost the Pom Bear account. They have no "brand pain".

Marketingese what a load of bullshit. Worse that the "Brand Spirit" crap I had to do in my last company....

....and I have a degree in Marketing.

When the zombies invade he will not be in the man-shed on the ark royal. He won't even be in the dinghy behind us. No OFRS filled with gin, ferrero rochers and pombears for Graeme.