Refused a table at restaurant for having kids

[marissac]

I'm thinking of going to my local news paper to name and shame this restaurant, but would like your wise opinion on it before I do.

Today was the eve of Chinese New Year, my friends decided we should have lunch at a certain Chinese restaurant in Canary Wharf to celebrate. They et extremely busy at lunchtimes so I phoned ahead to make a reservation. Greeted by the maitre d with usual formalities, asked me what time I would like the table for etc. Then when I said it was for a party of 4 adults and 3 kids he paused. Then proceeded to tell mr they were fully booked for lunch today and that they will jot be able to fit us in AT ALL (which was strange since he was asking for my name time and phone number just a minute ago). Then I heard a female voice in the background say that there is a table free until 2, to which I immediately replied I'll take it, we will be done and your table vacated no later than 1:30.

Lo and behold this male waiter then said "don't take this the wrong way, but many customers have complained about noisy children during lunch like it's a party. We get a lot of business people here at lunchtimes. We don't mind children on the weekends, just not during the week." (please note these aren't his EXACT words in the exact order)

I could NOT believe what I heard. And to paint a clearer picture, this is our local Chinese restaurant which we have frequented roughly once a week for the past 3 yrs. Talk about biting the hand that feeds you. I will sure be taking my business elsewhere, but would like everyone to be aware of the appalling attitude and service. My kids are never rowdy or unruly, yet they are being talked about like they animals that should be left on a leash tied to a lamppost.

Sorry for the rant. I'm still fuming. Do you think it's worth going to local press? Thanks for listening and for any input.

Agree with you maltesers.

I go to restaurants very often for business and would do my utmost to steer clear of 'child friendly' ones. The reason for this is that two parents will interpret 'child friendly' in different ways. One will consider that wherever they are in public, the children are required to behave with consideration for everybody else and not as if they're the only people on the plant. The parent will conduct themselves and their children's behaviour so that it doesn't encroach on others. Child of these parents are a joy to be around.

The other type of parent is the sort who has a massive sense of ego and entitlement to everything. They think that their progeny is so delightful and charmning that everybody except the most awful child-haters will adore them. They take over every place they go to, run amok and do whatever they like under the indulgent disinterest of their 'parent'. They're loud and try to grab the attention of everybody else in hopeful anticipation of validation (which is never forthcoming).

Sadly, the first type of parent isn't to be seen that often. They really love their children so take them to places where they can be children and only very occasionally take them to places where they have to rein themselves in. They'd be welcome everywhere but aren't taken everywhere.

The second sort of parent is seen everywhere, no matter how miserable their children are to be cooped up, such is the sense of entitlement that the parent swivels around to gain eye contact with everybody as if daring them to comment on the behaviour that 'all children have a right to express wherever and whenever they like'. This type of parent is flummoxed at the sheer number of 'child haters' they find themselves in company with. Snorting with disbelief at any suggestion that they have a thought for others, they drag their ever increasing brood from venue to venue in their hopeless quest for universal acceptance.

So true LyingWitch.

It always amuses me when someone uses the expression 'child haters' on here. I presume they're the very mothers who think everyone should absolutely love their little darlings no matter how annoying they're being and that anyone who objects has a problem/hasn't had children yet/is a dried up old spinster.

I totally agree LWTW. I worked hard to try and ensure my children were the first type. And parents like this are always the first to tell me that children at 4 can't sit and behave in a restaurant.

YABU If I am trying to have a business lunch with clients I don't want other peoples children- or those in my family- around
And particualrly not making such a mess as most kids with Chinese food while their parents look on indulgently while rice and noodles go into everyones hair!
If you want to celebrate CNY with your DC's get a large takeout and have it at home.

With the benefit of a (partially) French upbringing, I can state that the reason we were well behaved in restaurants is because we would get a smack round the back of the head if we weren't.

I've seen a waiter in France slap a child who he believed was not behaving correctly. The child's parent apologised profusely to the waiter for the imposition and gave the child an additional slap to show willing.

YABU. Some places are specifically geared towards families and have play areas, kids menus, high chairs etc. Some places are family-friendly in that they have suitable food and don't pull faces at you when you walk in with cihldren. Some places are simply not family-friendly because they are geared towards business lunchers, romantic dinners, very formal dining etc.

We don't all have to insist that every single eating establishment on the face of the planet be accessible and accomodating to our children 24/7.

In terms of the behaviour of children in restaurants, again, I don't see why people don't choose appropriate venues that will work with their childrens' ages and social skills. When I was small, the only places I was ever taken to eat were places like cafes at National Trust places, or other family venues. I was never, ever taken to a "proper" restaurant until I was much older and my good behaviour could be guaranteed. Sadly, that common sense rule doesn't seem to apply anymore, with an awful lot of people seeming to believe that they have an absolute right to eat wherever they want, even if their children are going to suffer as a result through being constantly told off by their parents, or glared at by other diners, and others are going to have their enjoyment reduced. I can quite see why restaurants might have to impose restrictions themselves as parents don't use common sense.

When I am at work, without my own son, I wouldn't be overjoyed at trying to have a lunch meeting surrounded by children.