Refused a table at restaurant for having kids

[marissac]

I'm thinking of going to my local news paper to name and shame this restaurant, but would like your wise opinion on it before I do.

Today was the eve of Chinese New Year, my friends decided we should have lunch at a certain Chinese restaurant in Canary Wharf to celebrate. They et extremely busy at lunchtimes so I phoned ahead to make a reservation. Greeted by the maitre d with usual formalities, asked me what time I would like the table for etc. Then when I said it was for a party of 4 adults and 3 kids he paused. Then proceeded to tell mr they were fully booked for lunch today and that they will jot be able to fit us in AT ALL (which was strange since he was asking for my name time and phone number just a minute ago). Then I heard a female voice in the background say that there is a table free until 2, to which I immediately replied I'll take it, we will be done and your table vacated no later than 1:30.

Lo and behold this male waiter then said "don't take this the wrong way, but many customers have complained about noisy children during lunch like it's a party. We get a lot of business people here at lunchtimes. We don't mind children on the weekends, just not during the week." (please note these aren't his EXACT words in the exact order)

I could NOT believe what I heard. And to paint a clearer picture, this is our local Chinese restaurant which we have frequented roughly once a week for the past 3 yrs. Talk about biting the hand that feeds you. I will sure be taking my business elsewhere, but would like everyone to be aware of the appalling attitude and service. My kids are never rowdy or unruly, yet they are being talked about like they animals that should be left on a leash tied to a lamppost.

Sorry for the rant. I'm still fuming. Do you think it's worth going to local press? Thanks for listening and for any input.

I think that even when mine were little they appreciated being treated as a grown up with a choice of menu and, as they were well behaved, the waiter calling them sir! I think that some families never just sit and chat unless they have something to impart and this shows up when they are sitting around a table with nothing to do.

Some children are still brought up like that, but it does seem to be increasingly rare.

My B and SIL have 3 quite young children - youngest 5. Recently their great gran died and my SIL wanted to bring her children to the funeral. My uncle agreed a bit reluctantly - was first time he met them.

They were extremely well behaved throughout the service - no talking, shouting ,etc - standing up at appropriate bits of the funeral.

After the funeral my uncle couldn't praise my SIL and the children enough. And as a result of their excellent behaviour, they got lots of attention from relatives.

I always found that waitresses, etc gave my children lots of extra positive attention as they were impressed with how they behaved; whilst they were drawing daggers at the unruly family in the same restaurant.

I agree that there seems to be this idea that children are constantly stimulated and catered to.

I was at Wahaca in CW once and there was a couple with a child at the next table who spent the entire meal watching Finding Nemo on a handheld console.

Awful

But, in fairness, I think it is a style of parenting born out of concern and care rather than laziness of pfb-ness.

I think we can worry as new parents about our children being entertained or stimulated all the time because the media, advertiser and everyone tells us that a baby needs stimulating.

It was my mother who took me to one said and said 'Pag, let him be. he needs to learn to just be, to enjoy his own thoughts, to mull stuff and look atthe view'

It is a modern anxiety

LeQueen I have across people who don't think it is possible for children from 4 and 5 years of age to sit quietly without games or toys. When of course we know it is.

Also some people seem to find it hard to understand that children can easily understand that they have to behave differently on different occasions.

Agree LeQueen as I type my 2.4 year old is pottering about amusing herself. My friend paid too much attention to her daughter and created a monster who could not do any independent play ever. Even at 3 my friend had to constantly entertain her she had to go back to work just to escape.

Witnessed a horrid incident in a coffee shop - toddler running about stands next to door innocent customer enters toddler sent flying cracks head very hard on concrete floor.

Witnessed a horrid incident in a coffee shop - toddler running about stands next to door innocent customer enters toddler sent flying cracks head very hard on concrete floor.

Well it must have been a cheap and nasty coffee shop then- as very expensive cafe's/eateries aren't hazardous at all see

Are there ANY parents here who will own up to having loud, boisterous, voluble children who on being taken out in public cause their mothers sharp intakes of breath and give silent thanks when a disaster is averted through sheer luck?

My Mum would put her hand up... :)

They are loud, boisterous and noisy if they go to the park, the woods, swimming pool etc but not in a restaurant, however you do have to get them used to it and you can't go in, converse with friends or talk on your mobile and ignore them-you need to talk to the DCs.

I did not take DS to restaurants, not indoor, sit down sorts of places, between the ages of 12m and 4 because it was misery for all concerned. He is not especially boisterous or loud, but had no interest in food, or sitting still. I am not a lax parent, he sits still now and behaves perfectly in restaurants, but it was hard work before a certain age. So we didn't inflict it on ourselves or others vey often.

ok, those of you who are snooty about crayons etc..meals can take a looooooong time sometimes! At home we discourage toys at table. But hell, if I want them to behave for 1.5/2hours without impacting on other diners, especially if it is perhaps later than they are used, why is is unnacceptable to play hangman together? or consequences?
I;m not talking about turning the table into the Early Learning Centre, ffs!

I agree with fullmoon. At home children can get down when they're finished their meal and go and play. In restaurants, if you want to be able to relax and enjoy your meal, it is very handy to give small children something to do.

Some restaurants just aren't appropriate for kids, especially in and around the city. Live with it! I think it's fair enough.

I don't think crayons matter, but getting down does. If they can't do it then don't take them. Get them into it by starting with a drink and biscuit and moving on as soon as they have finished.

I can not take my 7 year old and my 2 year old to a posh restaurant. So, I don't.
We eat at the dinner table nearly every night. But even at a Harvester they spill their drinks, and are only quiet when eating, so I have to have them eating at all times.
Even then I feel under pressure for them to behave. This makes it hard work and not THAT pleasureable.
I have no idea how you lot have all managed to make your kids behave perefectly, in posh restaurants, but it must be a skill/tactic I am clearly missing.
I try to go to a posh restuarant once a year atleast. My mum took me to Hibiscus for my birthday. I wouldn't take either of my children there , becasue I don't want to be bothered by children wehn I'm enjoying michelin star food.
Name the restaurant please OP, and I'll make
my booking !!

My hand is up, Lying!

What Obmolov said.

We have three children as well, so are outnumbered.

I'd go for it with the elder two, girls of 7 and 5, but with the 2-year-old boy, no chance.

My 3 have been eating out since tiny abroad and here. My 3 are v close in age(3 under 18 months) and I've never,ever had badly behaved kids in restaurants as we did a lot of frogmarching (and hissing).

I strongly disagree with the no crayons/toys etc as not everybody are blessed with quiet,docile little kids. Twin boys need the odd distraction believe you me.I always had the rule that I only had 1 thing on the table at a time and it was no bigger than a postcard.They didn't have activities all the time but if they had a long wait and tired of conversation I'd whip out some stickers.

Also if you have a family like mine with several kids very close in age it's not possible to have ernest conversations with children ,they all want your attention and sorry but the art of teaching a 2 year old to wait their turn in a conversation is not best taught in a restaurant.

Teaching children the art of conversation involves a lot of attention and focus on a child.If you're not blessed with big age gaps between kids and don't have older kids who have learnt to wait their turn thus freeing you up to focus on said 2/3/ year old the odd distraction is invaluable and not to be sneered at.It keeps everything calm and it's very easy to then get a conversation going again.

Worked a treat for me,my lot make me very proud in restaurants now. They're 7,7 and 6 and we recently had our first meal completely toy free,they were brilliant and dp and I got to drink wine for ages!!!!!!

We got complemented on their manners recently after they said thank you every time their food was put in front of them and cleared away. Both waiters said most kids never say thank you and ignore them,I find that very sad. One day our kids will be waiting tables and making staff feel valued is important.I think this is just as important as kids not making noise and sitting still.

Sorry to sound pious but good behaviour in restaurants is important and possible you just need to be organised. Don't book a table for any later than 12.30 and make sure they're not starving. Bring a bag of teeny things they know nothing about that you can whip out as and when is needed. If they get too bouncy take a loo trip(or two)!

I agree with Ob though I wouldn't bother with any of this in a very posh,expensive restaurant. Eating out in venues such as this is sadly so rare now for dp and I I don't want to share it with my kids so I'm pretty damn sure other eaters don't want to.If I was loaded I don't know, maybe I'd think differently.