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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Refused a table at restaurant for having kids

308 replies

marissac · 02/02/2011 21:23

I'm thinking of going to my local news paper to name and shame this restaurant, but would like your wise opinion on it before I do.

Today was the eve of Chinese New Year, my friends decided we should have lunch at a certain Chinese restaurant in Canary Wharf to celebrate. They et extremely busy at lunchtimes so I phoned ahead to make a reservation. Greeted by the maitre d with usual formalities, asked me what time I would like the table for etc. Then when I said it was for a party of 4 adults and 3 kids he paused. Then proceeded to tell mr they were fully booked for lunch today and that they will jot be able to fit us in AT ALL (which was strange since he was asking for my name time and phone number just a minute ago). Then I heard a female voice in the background say that there is a table free until 2, to which I immediately replied I'll take it, we will be done and your table vacated no later than 1:30.

Lo and behold this male waiter then said "don't take this the wrong way, but many customers have complained about noisy children during lunch like it's a party. We get a lot of business people here at lunchtimes. We don't mind children on the weekends, just not during the week." (please note these aren't his EXACT words in the exact order)

I could NOT believe what I heard. And to paint a clearer picture, this is our local Chinese restaurant which we have frequented roughly once a week for the past 3 yrs. Talk about biting the hand that feeds you. I will sure be taking my business elsewhere, but would like everyone to be aware of the appalling attitude and service. My kids are never rowdy or unruly, yet they are being talked about like they animals that should be left on a leash tied to a lamppost.

Sorry for the rant. I'm still fuming. Do you think it's worth going to local press? Thanks for listening and for any input.

OP posts:
fedupofnamechanging · 03/02/2011 17:43

Lying I would take my 3 DS's to a 'nice' restaurant but not my 3 year old DD. She is boisterous and not one for sitting still, so is not ready yet. My sons are capable of sitting, chatting and waiting for a meal. I don't see any harm though in taking something to keep them entertained while they wait, although I wouldn't allow them to play on a DS lite for example while we were actually eating.

I have to say that my DC are noisy, energetic children, but they have had to learn what constitutes socially acceptable behaviour in restaurants, supermarkets etc. Not everywhere is a playground.

I don't want to be trapped in Pizza Hut hell until they grow up Smile

fedupofnamechanging · 03/02/2011 17:46

Just wanted to add that although I adore my DC and want the choice to take them to nice places, I don't think they have to go everywhere with me. Time alone with my DH is important, and as has been said, one day they will grow up and leave home. Part of raising them well, is for them to know that their parents are people too and exist independently of them.

maltesers · 03/02/2011 17:48

Its disgraceful. So you mean to tell me that business people are more important than children. ? Darn cheek !
That would have been 7 people eating. .
And so 2 business folk would have spent as much money No, they wouldnt.

Complain and tell them you are not going there again.

expatinscotland · 03/02/2011 17:52

'And so 2 business folk would have spent as much money No, they wouldnt.'

Sure they would. Or their company would.

Tell me which restaurant this is, I want to go there for lunch!

Yippee, no damn kids! If there's one thing more annoying then having mine around in a restaurant, it's someone else's.

MilaMae · 03/02/2011 17:52

Also I personally don't have a problem with loud boistrous children in restaurants if it's dealt with ie they're frogmarched(repeatedly if needs be).

What I object to are the parents who smile indulgently when Tarquin is being a little shite and couldn't give a stuff that the rest of us are having our meal spoilt.

I also object to the loud parenting these type of parents engage in.Ie your child's being a pita we don't all need to know he's tired or anything else-whisper!!!!!

maltesers · 03/02/2011 18:00

Well, Kids, they can be noisy, but they are human beings, and its time this country got withit and stopped this stuffy boring dislike for children eating out. In Europe , its the norm and the waiters are lovely to kids.

How do they learn how to behave in a restaurant if we never take them there??

HHHMMM ?

MilaMae · 03/02/2011 18:00

I have to say I agree with Expat too,if I knew a restaurant was kid free and I was out with dp on a posh date that would be the one I'd plump for-bliss!

Funnily enough dp and I had a meal in Strada before Xmas whilst Xmas shopping and a 6 month old baby was wheeled in to the table next to us,she was literally inches from us.I um still moved tables though as just wanted to be totally kid free.

I spend my life covered in snot and drool,sitting inches from it on one of my very rare outings out is not my idea of fun. Neither is spending the whole time waiting for a riot to kick off-I could have that at home whilst eating pasta-don't need to go out for it.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 03/02/2011 18:00

Bless all the Mums here that can admit to having to manage their DCs and/or their activities a little... I was starting to think that a miracle had occurred here... in 200-odd posts nothing but perfect children. Confused

LeQueen... I think you could be the new Supernanny! Loving the 'death stares' and frog-marching... Grin

maltesers · 03/02/2011 18:01

Yeah well business folk get out for lunch every day of the week. . . . .us folk with children dont and its a real treat ....so let us enjoy.

expatinscotland · 03/02/2011 18:03

Sure, I'd just prefer you go enjoy it someplace else than a nice restaurant.

Because I only get to go to those on very rare occassions, and when I do, I don't want to be around my kids, or yours or anyone else's.

expatinscotland · 03/02/2011 18:04

Again, I'd like to know where this is so I can make sure to patronise them, knowing if I go during the week for a nice long lunch I won't be bothered by kids.

maltesers · 03/02/2011 18:05

Expatinscotland. . . You may be in the minority on MUMSNET Hmm

MilaMae · 03/02/2011 18:05

Maltesers abroad parents simply don't tolerate bad behavior which is why they welcome kids. French kids are 10X better behaved than British as French parents expect far better behavior than we do.In fact I think frogmarching would be the least a French child could expect if they started engaging in rowdy behavior.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 03/02/2011 18:06

agrees with expatinscotland... I think a list would be truly excellent. Everybody would be happy and know exactly the best place for them.

maltesers · 03/02/2011 18:06

Its not worth the trip Expatinscotland
. . its down my way in Southampton !!!!!!

Blu · 03/02/2011 18:06

Oh, LeQueen don't be so smugmental. Some of it is parenting, some of it is different kids at differnt ages. DS would have danced with relief if I had his pizza boxed up and we coolly walked out, in fact he wouldn't have worried about taking the pizza with us, once he'd had about 2 mouthfuls.

But I certainly wasn't prepared to let other people be disturbed by him walking about, so we didn't go.

expatinscotland · 03/02/2011 18:08

'Expatinscotland. . . You may be in the minority on MUMSNET '

Um, have you read the thread? It's about 50/50.

Yes, I realise the site's name, after 7 years here.

And three children.

Still doesn't endear me to eating out at a nice restaurant with my kids or someone else's.

It's a rare treat to go out without them so where possible I chose to do that in a childfree evironment.

And Mila, that is so true!

Great compliment ever was at Amsterdam airport when my daughters were playing with two French girls and they commented on how well they conducted themselves.

maltesers · 03/02/2011 18:08

Fully agree to that MilaMae. . .they are better behaved.
Therefore we need to discipline our children better. I think British kids are badly behaved compared to the Italian or French kids i see every time I go there. Its very noticeable ! But, if certain kids behave here then why not take them to a restaurant and enjoy. . .

expatinscotland · 03/02/2011 18:10

I love Brewers Fayres whilst with the children. Expecially the ones with a soft play.

There's a local pub/restaurant with a soft play.

We go there on special occassions.

Yes, we go to McDonald's as well, and Pizza Huts.

But sometimes, on a birthday or anniversary, it's nice for DH and I to go out on our own and have a leisurely, childfree meal during which we cut our own meat and go to the loo on our own.

mumsy2002 · 03/02/2011 18:13

I always ask the restaurant before hand if they allow children in as this saves any embarrasment.Not all restaurants are child friendly and i would not want to take my children in them.

Laquitar · 03/02/2011 18:16

'complain and tell them you are not going there again'

Well, they don't want her to go Grin She was regular, they took her name and after that told her they are fully booked. I'm sure they will survive without her custom.

You see its not children who need to learn this but some adults: the world doesn'd go around you and if you don't respect others they simply don't want you, even if you pay. And then no need for tantrums and threads about newspapers.

(unless.... the OP is the owner and this was clever advertisement Grin Grin)

LeQueen · 03/02/2011 18:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hogsback · 03/02/2011 18:19

Quote the Equalities Act at them. Age is one of the protected characteristics (along with race, sex, sexual orientation, disability etc)

Would make an interesting test case.

LeQueen · 03/02/2011 18:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MilaMae · 03/02/2011 18:21

Also those of you that want to take your kids to posh restaurants do you really relish the thought of eating on a table when you're sans kids next to the same section of society you've just escaped from-really????

Don't you get twitchy when the volume goes up an octave thinking any minute there will be wailing??? It's just not a relaxing environment however much wine you drink.

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