To be proud of being and wife and to want to be acknowledged as such?

[WriterofDreams]

I've read quite a few posts on MN from people who are annoyed, and quite rightly so, at being called "Mrs" when they're actually a Ms or Dr or some other title. I've actually found I have the opposite problem, where companies send me correspondence with the title "Ms" even though I put Mrs on any forms or letters I send. It also quite annoys me when I introduce my DH as my husband and people persist in calling him my partner. I chose to get married and being a wife is an important part of my identity that I would like to have acknowledged. I like being "Mrs DH's name" although I do draw the line at being called "Mrs Dh's first name Dh's second name," as I haven't actually changed my first name at all.

AIBU to expect companies and professionals to use the title I've actually selected rather than the PC catch-all one?

All husbands are partners, but not all partners are husbands. therefore "partner" is the obvious choice, unless the exact status of an individual is known.

LeQ if being married made you feel safer and stronger and more free then why feel offended if a stranger referred to MrQ as your partner so as not to upset other women in a more vulnerable position?

By the way he must have balls of steel that man to have resisted marrying you for ten years so I do think that he must be a total catch and well worth waiting for!

And also bleddy lucky that you accepted of course

Maybe you should just go and bake some cakes or something LeQueen. You seem a little bored.

Fucking hell - what a bitchfest

Oh please don't read them, then LeQueen. I wouldn't like to be put in the same category as common X factor watching Midwives. I hope they give you one that reads Proust next time. Much more your thing.

The guardian thing - it wouldn't bother me remotely if forms did away with parent/guardian and put "Guardian". For the purposes of pretty much any official communication I'm going to engage in I am ds's legal guardian. It matters not a jot that I gave birth to him (or that I'd adopted him, if that were the case).

If I don't know a woman's preferred title, I refer to her as Ms in an inital communication and Mrs/Miss/Major/Flt Lt if that's how she signs off her reply.

But if she does sign off as Mrs or Miss, I suspect that she might have soft toys on her bed. Or heaven forbid, in her car

Maisie - women debating an issue is a bitchfest???

Did you feel that your entire birthing experience and subsequent relationship was soured as a result of that 7 second conversation LeQ? I imagine that the midwife is still trying to recover from that interuption to her career, as it will no doubt have been the worst thing she will ever have been asked in the course of her working life.

Why do you think someone who refers to themselves as Miss or Mrs has soft toys Jenai? I don't get it.

Maisie, honestly? I love LeQ's posts and haven't made any personal attacks as far as I can see. It's a debate as thewook says

Thewook - debate the issue, but lay off the personal insults. Otherwise it becomes a childish bitchfest.

Maisie What personal insults? Where?

I presume you're not reading this then LeQueen.

LeQueen is a bit up her own a*se.

Come on, can anyone really be offended bt LeQ, she is clearly a parody of real self.

PS LeQ saw your wedding photo and clearly you made him fork out for the 10 year wait!

LeQ but high-level achieving men do have these x and y year plans. It's what sets them apart.

Perhaps he just wanted to make sure you could have the fantastic wedding of your dreams complete with marvellous dress etc?

Of course if you want to slate his time-management skills then as his wife you are perfectly entitled

Because it's fluffy, Writer. And rightly or wrongly the fact they seem to think that I give a damn about their marital status leads me to ascribe certain traits to them. Which is, I accept, my problem.

Jenai so obviously it would be ok to assume that anyone who uses Ms is a man hating lesbian