To be proud of being and wife and to want to be acknowledged as such?

[WriterofDreams]

I've read quite a few posts on MN from people who are annoyed, and quite rightly so, at being called "Mrs" when they're actually a Ms or Dr or some other title. I've actually found I have the opposite problem, where companies send me correspondence with the title "Ms" even though I put Mrs on any forms or letters I send. It also quite annoys me when I introduce my DH as my husband and people persist in calling him my partner. I chose to get married and being a wife is an important part of my identity that I would like to have acknowledged. I like being "Mrs DH's name" although I do draw the line at being called "Mrs Dh's first name Dh's second name," as I haven't actually changed my first name at all.

AIBU to expect companies and professionals to use the title I've actually selected rather than the PC catch-all one?

I'll be proud of being Mrs when a married man changes his salutation also.

I agree with hully, going by previous posts she may chop of my head with a blunt knife should I object

I am kidding!!!!!!!!

...so you are not permitted to choose how you wish to be addressed. The correct term of address has been laid down.

That right?

But, WoD, you talk about your bloke as if you fashioned him out of plasticine. Like you made him. Something you created I can get being proud of, but a flesh and blood human? It just doesn't compute.

I'm gooey over Ol' Muppet Pyjamas sometimes, and of our 13 yr old relationship, and of our daughter....but pride is just a really odd word to choose.
Like they are what they are because of their link to you.

Jenai's post a few pages back about the fluffy toys has reminded me of this monstrous wife who moved in above me in the early 90s. She popped round to introduce herself and whipped her wedding photo album out of her handbag. That's what a lot of this thread reminds me of. She Was Not Normal. She was utterly desperate to tell the world she'd managed it. Quite sad really.

Le Q, is it terribly hard work being that dense?

Piglet - you may be choose. And be judged according to the associations therewith.

Thats wonderful that you feel that way WOD, but why must everyone else make the effort to acknowledge you for it?

Sorry, but I dont care about you marital state. If I was your friend I might send you my sincere congratulations, but Im not. Neither are random companies.

So YABU. The world is changing for the better.

I assume your friends, family and aquainances know you are married and probably refer to you as Mrs just how you like though. Doesnt that make you happier than a random computer automessage?

Le Q - it's a verb: practise.

Piglet - You may choose indeed. Or be choose if you prefer of course.

The Grand High Dowager Vizier - mm I prefer LeQueen. Sounds grander.

WOD -, its funny that your name isnt Mrs-WOD, after you going on about it for 14 pages!

thanks for crediting me with all of the posts life but other people did contribute

Hully is, of course, right. But how a woman wants to be addressed is her choice, it's quite shitty that we give away our marital status or practically share our dried up ovaries or over zealous feminist traits with 'Ms'. Men don't have to make that choice, they are just Mr.

And don't get me started on the surname thing. I think my dcs should have mine and my DH's name and then when they marry my dd keeps my name and adds her DH's and the boys keep their fathers....really annoys me that my surname (which is my father's) gets lost.

Le Q...You were using it as a verb. Therefore you have to spell it in its verb form.

Practice = noun

Practise = verb

dear lord.

What lifeinlimbo said.

Between family and friends - in the private sphere - Mrs is sweet. Miss is probably OK til about 18 (watch as I make up my own list of rules).

But for the reasons already stated by AnnieLobeseder in particular I do object to its continued use in the public sphere.

Practise your piano before bed.

My aunt has a medical practice.

Like that.

Oh LeQueen- what on earth makes you think anyone gives a shit about your big fat gypsy expensive wedding gown and shoes? I think you are a grade A fantasist and never fail to make me pmsl at your dellusional tales...

Haven't had time to read the whole thread, but just to add my tuppence worth.

I'm not married but have been with DP for 12 odd years and we have two dds.

I introduce him as my partner, but then people go on to refer to him as my husband (it always makes me feel like they can't get their head around the fact that we're not married and think that if they say husband it will somehow make it so!).

Anyway, my point is that I def don't have the problem of being called Ms, quite the opposite.

mlm..........you do know that as a non married couple you have less rights if your DH left tomorrow or died.