Daughters stop being adorable and cuddly when they’re about 10.
My 11 year old son is still like a toddler in comparison.
Patience. My 13 year old is like this too. Even using that same phrase , “Okaaaaaay” 
She speaks to her slightly younger brother like dirt, and sometimes us too, it’s the tone of her voice more than the content. We pull her up on it constantly but it’s ignored.
She’s silent and moody too. And lives in her room. Flinches away from cuddles.
However, some days you see the old innocent and sweet 10 year old, when she cuddles everyone, and is wildly happy.
It will pass ! It’s just hormones, realising the world is a scary place to exist in, losing her innocence in terms of what really goes on in the world - news, her friends’ drama issues, and so on. Mine actually worries about jobs and paying taxes and how to rent a flat, and she isn’t even 14 yet !
If you’re willing, browse through her phone and the kinds of conversations she texts with friends to get an idea of what she’s interested in, and what her worries might be.
We regularly check our daughter’s with her permission and will do until she’s 16. (It’s not an invasion of privacy, it’s because we don’t want her groomed by a man in the same way I was -she witnessed DV when she was about 2-3).
Luckily she’s currently still into Minecraft, Anime and dinosaurs, and fields off friends chat about love/sex with blush emojis.
She’ll use a wtf abbreviation here and there, but doesn’t swear. But the sh *t these young teens chat ! It all sounds daft, but they really are finding their feet in the world.
You’ve got to step back, yet let her know you’re there for support.
Her brain is buzzing at 50,000 miles an hour. Cant you tell this when she emphatically states things to you that she finds mindblowing, as if she’s the first to discover it, but you obviously already know, like, “Mumma, did you know aborigines are older than Australians??!!!!” That sort of thing.
It’s like watching a 5 year old given access to an advanced encyclopaedia brain implant and they don’t know what to do with the amazingness of all this new information all at once. It sends them spinning, and on top of that, they feel uncomfortable with things they shouldn’t, and that makes the, feel guilty, like they don’t feel comfortable cuddling Daddy anymore, but can’t quite understand why, or they lately ‘hate’ their sibling, but equally love them, what’s that all about they wonder.
I’m useless at discipline so I let her flow, but the best way of talking to a young teen I find is engaging them in an activity they —mildly suffer— like and without too much eye contact or direct questions (they can’t properly verbalise how they feel yet and that frustrates them), gently ask about their interests, their worries.
You can also always ask the school pastoral team for advice. Kids might struggle to transition into secondary school life for the first year or so. My daughter used to stand ramrod straight like a statue at break times, hiding behind pillars. Pastoral care got involved and discreetly engineered a similarly frightened, lonesome classmate to buddy up with her at break times.
I find this process fascinating, and by stepping back and not taking everything personally, because it isn’t her against you, it’s her against the world, you’ll find a way to co-exist with your daughter as she goes through this life changes.