Binfullofmaggotsonthe45 "Better discouraged than.....sleepy?"
Discouragement, sleepiness and misdirected effort all achieve the same end - SFA.
Dittany I addressed you because you addressed me. You addressed me rather in the manner of a peeved wife at the dinner table saying to one of her children 'tell daddy to pass me the salt'. Am I allowed to call this silliness? If you include my name in a post I can include yours.
begonyabampot I agree it's got to be both a hearts and minds operation and a control operation. Hearts and minds can be changed. Men who visit prostitutes see women as somehow accepting or benefitting or less worthy of consideration. Some see them as the enemy or have severe anxieties, anger, etc, and these men are going to be dangerous. If they're foreign women it's easier to wrap these justifications up in attitudes to do with the foreignness.
It's a tricky one! Part of the problem is that men see women as the 'other'. That allows different rules according to how the 'other' is perceived. Many women endorse this, tacitly or otherwise, but have their own ideas about the rules. While it's necessary to ask men to take responsibility for their behaviour as men, it doesn't help women to strengthen these notions of 'otherness' by setting men apart from them. Honesty, fairness, empathy, proportionality, understanding, consistency and forgiveness are necessary but so is calling a spade a spade, that's what's tricky. What doesn't help is constructing careless mythologies too much based on the least generous interpretation of the actions of the worst. People change in the direction of expectations, good and bad.
Calling a man who has sex with a prostitute a rapist regardless of the nature of the encounter doesn't help him. I guess it depends on priorities. If you want to make the case for a connection between prostitution, wider values, a whole lot of other things and rape, with examples and supporting arguments then that's one thing. However, if you want to persuade that's another. For most people 'shock and awe' doesn't work - it's impressive but it doesn't work.