Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be annoyed with mothers who can't be bothered to work?

395 replies

HellaH · 28/01/2011 10:46

Went to a baby playgroup the other day and met yet another mother who has handed in her notice just because she has had a baby.

Thanks a lot! Now when I will go looking for a job employers will think that I too will hand in my notice if I fall pregnant again and will probably take on a man instead of me.

Can't wait for men to get more parental leave, maybe it will equal things out a bit!

And surely with the flexible working hours law and such a woman CAN go back to work without silly excuses.

OP posts:
Cartoose · 29/01/2011 20:54

"Man stay at home mums really do get fat, lazy and stupid"

so there are no fat, lazy or stupid people in paid work then?

Ifancykevinelevin · 29/01/2011 21:19

Cartoose I was much thinner at home with dc's as I was running around all day and cooking healthy family meals from scratch.

Now I am in work I eat late, my metabolism is wrecked and I live off junk. I have put on tonnes of bloody weight! I can't go out for a run in the evenings as I am stuck in the house with dc's sleeping.

So yes I am the fat person in work. (but not lazy) Grin

Cartoose · 29/01/2011 21:36
Grin
mummysmadhouse · 29/01/2011 21:36

Havent read the thread, but i am a sahm because, for one, if i returned to work i wouldnt earn anything after childcare costs and more importantly, the thought of someone else bringing up my child part-time is not for me.

Ive nothing against parents that choose to work but personally i want to bring my children up myself, make my own mistakes etc.

The time is precious imo.

IMO being a SAHM is not the easy option it can be damanding, tiring at times boring, and bloody hard work BUT also bloody rewarding!

FWIW ive have friends that do work...and say, 'we go to work for a break, its much easier.'

mummysmadhouse · 29/01/2011 21:37

ps My weight is at its lowest Grin

Appletrees · 29/01/2011 21:41

you do have a point

however consider hthe workplaces where entire workforce has to change an established working pattern to fit in with a minrity of childcare issues

on the other hand i like families where one parent is at home

CDMforever · 29/01/2011 22:42

I agree, mummysmadhouse, I too find my days at work much easier as your friends said.
I know I have the best of both worlds but think I might go mad if I didn't have the days as a WOHM.

gaelicsheep · 29/01/2011 22:45

Yeah, I get really peed off with mothers who just lounge in bed all day leaving their naked, unwashed kids to pick up the crumbs off the unhoovered floor. That's what you meant OP right?

gaelicsheep · 29/01/2011 22:46

I don't usually hand out these, but here you go Biscuit

herethereandeverywhere · 29/01/2011 23:01

Staying at home to look after DD on my mat. leave was the easiest year of my life since I was a pre-pubescent child. Fact.

I agree with your perspective that being a SAHM is an easy life. Those who choose it spend a lot of time emphasising how hard they work. I expect it's all relative to what you do in paid employment.

TBH if I could afford to stay at home and have my husband pay for everything we spend as a family including his birthday/Xmas presents and my hairstyles/clothes/holidays then I'd probably take the easy ticket too.

I choose not to be envious of the hoards of SAHM, you have to be happy with your own choices and your own situation.

gaelicsheep · 29/01/2011 23:03

Threads like these reek of pure jealousy and they are soooo boring and predictable. Have another Biscuit.

lockets · 29/01/2011 23:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

allatsea1 · 29/01/2011 23:14

Up to her. Why do you give a shit?

Coolmammy · 30/01/2011 01:16

Interesting thread this. I'm a SAHM and will be so until my child starts school.
Why? Because it is my choice to do so and I want to look after my child myself.

The choice between going back to work or not working for a few years and enjoying him while he's young, was not a difficult one to make.

I understand that some women need to return to work for financial reasons or because they really do enjoy their job and it's important to them. That's up to them and I don't judge them, it's none of my business. Same as I don't expect people to judge me for my choice either. But judge they do. I find it astonishing the amount of women (and it's always women) who react like I've got two heads if I tell them I'm a SAHM. Since when did raising your own children become so shocking?

I'm not fat, I'm not lazy and I've done my time in the workplace, had a good career and will do so again. We don't have money to burn and have had to tighten our belts since I became a SAHM, but it's worth it.

Finally, what is hardest, sat behind a desk for 8 hours or so a day making decisions and problem-solving, or raising a totally dependent little human being 24 hours a day?
The latter, of course.

rockinhippy · 30/01/2011 01:23

YABU, & if YOU where actually any good at your chosen career , you might not feel so threatened by OTHER peoples life choicesWink

gaelicsheep · 30/01/2011 01:33

The biggest woman haters in this world are other women. There are a lot of them on MN these days. Shame.

Coolmammy · 30/01/2011 01:35

Forgot to add a response to Hella, the OP, yes you are being unreasonable to get annoyed with mothers who "can't be bothered to work". That sentence in itself is insulting.

I might ask why someone "can't be bothered" to bring up their own children?

Coolmammy · 30/01/2011 01:39

Who are you directing that remark at rockinhippy?

gaelicsheep · 30/01/2011 01:42

I'm sure it was at the OP. Smile

I'm loving the idea of having children being a "silly excuse" not to go out to paid work.

rockinhippy · 30/01/2011 01:50

The OP of course coolmammy

& yes gaelicsheep only someone without kids could be THAT naive Hmm

Coolmammy · 30/01/2011 01:50

I agree, gaelicsheep, :)

But honestly, the number of comments I've had from working mothers about "skiving", "lady of leisure"(I wish!) etc since I became a SAHM is unbelievable!
Whatever happened to the "sisterhood"? :o

Coolmammy · 30/01/2011 01:54

Sorry rockinhippy, I'm up way too late and getting tired and confused. I'd better get off to bed now.

Goodnite :o

gaelicsheep · 30/01/2011 01:57

I'm a working mother. Just starting back full time after 7 months mat leave. I'm looking forward to the break. Grin

Well, not really, I'll miss the children like crazy, but boy are they hard work! DH is dreading being solely responsible again. I am envious of women who stay at home, but only sometimes and it would never ever make me vindictive like the OP.

doubleease · 30/01/2011 02:25

I would give up my job tomorrow if I could afford to.

Oh to be a lady of leisure. Just need to find a rich man

Plus I'd be unselfish, thinking of all those people who 'need' to work and there's me clogging up the job market with a job I don't really need.

YABU

GotArt · 30/01/2011 02:50

I can sort of see OP's point, as insultingly it was put across. There are some industries that if women keep putting in their notices for their positions instead of taking maternity leave, employers are not likely going to continue to hire woman, particularly young women. I'm in an industry that is already male dominated and if I take time off, I'm fucked. There is a reason why you don't see many married with children female CEO's.

As for mother's that can't be bothered to work... there out there too. My sister is one of them. She would rather sit at home and collect welfare with her husband, (in 20 years, he's never held a job, nothing) so she can spend time with her kids. They are 10 and 12, and are in full time school. She hasn't done school run since they were 5. She wants to quit a job right now that she only works 3 nights a week at, from 5-9. Hmm Her reason; because she doesn't get to see her kids... they don't do any extra-curricular activities; come home from school and park in front to the TV. She's only worked there for 5 months and her last job lasted 6 weeks, pt, 5 years ago. She can't be bothered to work.