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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to want cosmetic surgery on my genitals?

78 replies

NooniEnvy · 26/01/2011 13:19

I have name-changed for this.

Since I was a child I have been very embarrassed by my genitals. My inner labia hang down quite a lot, and the area where my clitoris is kind of sticks out rather than being hidden by the top of the outer labia. It has always bothered me, especially when I was about 22 and a guy I was seeing said "you're not like other girls down there".

I have been looking into cosmetic surgery options and I think that I could have two procedures that will make my genitals far more attractive looking. I would like my inner labia reduced and my outer labia and mon pubis (never knew it was called that!) augmented so that it is a bit plumper and not look so odd. Hopefully that will also encase my clitoris so that it doesn't stick out.

The thing is, everyone I have mentioned it to is absolutely horrified. They all think I'm insane. But it really bothers me. I can't pinpoint exactly when I knew I was a bit 'different' and I never saw any porn when I was growing up, so I didn't have anything to compare myself to, other than other girls at school, I suppose. I really want everyone to be happy for me, but they're just not. It is an expensive operation (about 12k) and I'd have to go abroad. I know that if I do this I would never, ever be able to moan about having no money as everyone would say, "well, you had that operation...". Also, I worry that people who I have told will lose respect for me. I wish I hadn't told anybody, but I have.

I so wish it didn't bother me and I could just grow up and accept it, but I feel so ugly. It really affects my relationships as I cannot enjoy sex as I am preoccupied with this.

Any thoughts? Does anybody else out there feel like me? Thank you.

OP posts:

Memoo · 26/01/2011 13:21

You just want us to talk about our fannies don't you?

TattyDevine · 26/01/2011 13:24

Why would you have to go abroad? I dont like the idea of going abroad for something like that. Surely BAAPS and BACPS registered consultants do this kind of thing?

LadyTremaine · 26/01/2011 13:24

Bless you. And as for the guy, I hope his knob dropped off.

TattyDevine · 26/01/2011 13:25

And I dont really think you are unreasonable to want to change something you are not comfortable with - same as anyone, but I am pro cosmetic surgery under most circumstances anyway

Original poster

NooniEnvy · 26/01/2011 13:25

Because they do it by laser elsewhere, but not here. With a laser there are no scalpels involved.

OP posts:

TheCrackFox · 26/01/2011 13:26

I feel ill thinking about the level of pain.

FabbyChic · 26/01/2011 13:28

Have you considered what it could do to the nerves? Would it cause you in some rare case to not have any feeling down there? Would being neat and tidy really be worth it if you could not feel anything and it was just for show?

Everybody is different down stairs, none of us are the same.

MrSpoc · 26/01/2011 13:28

As a man I would not find it off putting but rather the oppersite. The guy was a cock. But if you are not happy then do something about it.

Butterbur · 26/01/2011 13:29

All fannies are odd looking things, with a huge variety of shape, size, colour etc. Don't get hung up on what one young and inexperienced guy thoughtlessly said. You should have told him his cock wasn't like anyone elses, too.

From what I've been told, it is the infinite variety in appearance that is part of the fun and excitement of a relationship with someone new, rather than there being some definition of a perfect fanny.

What if you get a post surgical infection?

barteringlines · 26/01/2011 13:29

It seems like this guys comment has really bothered you. As if he would know what other girls are like - he will have seen about 10 at most out of the whole world - or porn star ones which are unlikely to look normal as a lot of them will have had surgery!
I've no idea what other womens fannies look like but I suspect they come in all shapes and sizes.
12K is a lot of money and when you meet someone who loves you they won't give a rats clacker what shape your labia are.

dockate · 26/01/2011 13:30

No, laser procedures are also done here. I have referred several women for the same procedure; it is generally quite satisfactory. However labioplasty is quite painful, and you may not end up exactly as you imagine now; certainly have a detailed consultation with your cosmetic surgeron before you commit to anything, and please have it done in UK, not overseas.

pinkyredrose · 26/01/2011 13:30

I had my inner labia reduced, found the op v easy really. It didn't cost anywhere near 12k tho! There's no need to worry about scalpels! If it makes u happy then go for it! Pm me if you want details x

dockate · 26/01/2011 13:31

surgeon not surgeron!

solo · 26/01/2011 13:33

We are all different down there though. Lots of women have large labia. As for your clitoris, don't you worry it'd be less sensitive? I would worry about having it sliced up whether it was with a scalpel or a laser.

YANBU to want to change yourself, but I thinks it's a huge issue and not to be taken lightly at all.

bubblewrapped · 26/01/2011 13:33

Have you actually discussed this with a doctor. Everyone is different, and I would suspect you are probably no more abnormal than anyone else, but a dickhead of a bloke has said something which makes you think you are.

I would be very very wary of having surgery in such a delicate area, and the risks of infection after are quite high too I believe.

steamedtreaclesponge · 26/01/2011 13:33

You sound perfectly normal to me - that guy was obviously a total idiot.

Have you considered counselling? At the very least it might help you realise whether your problem is actually with the way you look, or more to do with the way you feel about yourself generally. And it'd be a hell of a lot cheaper and safer than surgery.

tyler80 · 26/01/2011 13:34

Do you have a partner now? If so what does he think? Do you plan on having/having more children?

winnybella · 26/01/2011 13:37

There was a thread about it a while ago and I remember I asked DP (who has slept with lots of women) whether it was unusual and he said that plenty of women have inner labia that is longer than outer labia and he said that it's not off-putting at all.

HecateQueenOfWitches · 26/01/2011 13:39

It's really no different to a nose job, is it?

If it is affecting you so much, and you can't accept that part of your body the way it is, then it is your choice and your choice alone.

I am thinking of having some sort of fadge lift. I look like I've got a huge bollock in my knickers.

Trixiebelle30 · 26/01/2011 14:00

I completely agree with Dockate.

Please do your research and look into having it done in the UK, I have seen and heard of no end of horror stories about procedures overseas, (think of the aftercare as much as the op itself).

Have you not seen your GP yet? They could also refer you for counseling if you wanted to go down that route first.

Please dont feel bad about wanting to change how you look, its your body and if you want to change it to feel happier about yourself then its up to you. Try not to worry what others would say or think of you - its not like you're going to be stripping off every 5 minutes to show them!

MollysChambers · 26/01/2011 14:11

I remember the thread of which Winnybella speaks (assume it was the same one). It was actually really enlightening and completely changed my perceptions of what is "normal" and attractive.

Wish I knew how to find it OP... Anyone cleverer than me?

Original poster

NooniEnvy · 26/01/2011 14:15

Thanks for all your replies. I thought people would criticise me for doing this, so I am very grateful for how supportive everyone is being. I would love to read the other thread, if somebody could find it.

Thanks again.

OP posts:

sleepwhenidie · 26/01/2011 14:20

There was an article on this in Zest magazine February issue. A woman recounting her feelings (sound similar to yours and how she had the procedure done, also a section on what is involved). I think it said you would have to go private as it is considered cosmetic but is definitely possible. The woman in the article was very happy with the results. Not sure if the magazine is still on sale but if not or if you prefer I can post it to you if you like, PM me your address.

BalloonSlayer · 26/01/2011 14:21

I think it might have been this thread?

Butterbur · 26/01/2011 14:27

Here are some picture from Channel4's Embarrassing Bodies website.

Needless to say don't click if you are at work/have DCs looking over shoulder etc.

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