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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to want labiaplasty

237 replies

upsylazy · 29/09/2010 20:27

This isn't a joke. Since having 3 huge babies,(last one was nearly 11 lbs), my inner fanjo lips have turned a hideous grey/brown colour and hang down about 2 inches outside the outer ones. I just think they look vile. I have only just realised that you can have an op to have them "trimmed". On the same day that I read about this, I read a description in the novel I was reading of a woman's bits, describing "the dark red bud enclosed by the pink petals". It was such a contrast with the way mine look. It's not as though I go about flashing my fanjo at everyone but I have to see it in the shower, going to the loo etc and I hate it. I mentioned the possibility of getting it "fixed" to a friend who plans to have surgery done to everything - boobs, face, tummy etc and she gave me this lecture about how it's totally misogynistic etc. I find this really hypocritical. What's the difference between a boob job and a fanjo job? I probably won't ever actually go through with it but just wondered what people thought.

OP posts:
fuschiagroan · 29/09/2010 20:29

If you really hate something about your body and want to change it, then do it. OK, it's probably just an in-your-head thing rather than an actual problem, but if you're wasting a lot of energy stressing about it it's easier to just get it fixed.

AnyFucker · 29/09/2010 20:30

I think if it is making you unhappy, you should see your GP, find out if the situation is really as bad as you think, and if it is, ask a for a referral to a plastic surgeon

you must stop reading crappy fiction though Smile

CardyMow · 29/09/2010 20:31

If it makes you unhappy, and you have enough money to do it, then why not? It's not like you are saying that your DP wants you to get it done. You are wanting it done for YOU so how is that being misogynistic? YANBU.

plantsitter · 29/09/2010 20:33

Were you reading a Mills and Boon? Admittedly I have not seen many labia (i.e. only mine) but I bet not many are like 'pink petals'.

Anyone?

Still, as others say, if it's really affecting you you could have surgery I s'pose. Seems like it would hurt though.

PotPourri · 29/09/2010 20:33

Kinda see where you are coming from, but honestly everyone is different, adn I would bet that very few people have a rosebud like that!!! (Maybe a midwife will come on and confirm...) Be proud of what you have - if it was your babies that changed you - be proud or that, what an amazing body you have making and safely delivering 3 babies!!

AnyFucker · 29/09/2010 20:34

no, I don't have pink petals

mine bear a resemblance to an explosion in an abattoir, but hey-ho, they are mine

and DH doesn't seem to mind Grin

PussinJimmyChoos · 29/09/2010 20:41

I saw a documentary on this aaaages ago. Some women had labia that hung down so much, it rubbed when they wore knickers and in a swimming costume, there was a definate bulge and so they had surgery to reduce it

But mind you, in romance novels, the cocks are always hard, wide and last for ages....real life it 'aint so am sure same applies for fanjos Grin

upsylazy · 29/09/2010 20:51

It wasn't a mills and boon actually, it was a book called "In praise of older women" which is quite a classic and an autobiography written by a man from his teens to mid twenties who only shags older women. It's basically quite reassuring that not all men are only attracted to 19 year olds but none of the women he shags seem to have kids, hence their buds and blooming petals.

OP posts:
mumtoabeautifulbabyboy · 29/09/2010 21:10

How much does it actually bother you? It doesn't sound as if it's bothering your DP at all so it's obvviously an in your head thing.
If it is bothering you though definitely look into it. It's none of your friends business and I don't know why it is any different to getting any other area of your body done. Go for it:)

fifitot · 29/09/2010 21:11

Ah a man wrote it.............explains alot.

TheProfiteroleThief · 29/09/2010 21:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Faaamily · 29/09/2010 21:14

It's ridiculous. Really. Don't do it.

TheProfiteroleThief · 29/09/2010 21:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nickschick · 29/09/2010 21:15

I dont look at my labia so much that it concerns me does everyone look at theirs????

GeekyGirl · 29/09/2010 21:16

This issue was on Embarrassing Bodies a while ago - taken seriously because the woman was embarrassed, but also I think she was in some discomfort as Puss also mentions above.

[That would be PussinJimmyChoos]

TheProfiteroleThief · 29/09/2010 21:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MaudOHara · 29/09/2010 21:17

More kebab than rosebud here - I think its the norm.

If it really bothers you enough that you want to undergo unneccessary surgery with all its inherent risks then go talk to your GP.

TheCrackFox · 29/09/2010 21:32

I can't imagine a more painful operation. Having your minge trimmed would be agonising.

SlackSally · 29/09/2010 21:33

I haven't even had children yet and mine is not a rosebud enclosed in a cunt or whatever the euphemism was.

Think the abbatoir comment will probably apply when I do...

marriednotdead · 29/09/2010 21:38

I tend to be of the 'if it ain't broke don't fix it' school, so unless your beef curtains (copyright Jim Davidson) are rubbing on your knees underwear then I'd be inclined to avoid the knife.

Saying that, if I tripped and broke my nose, they could take the hump out of the centre while they were re-setting it Smile

HalfTermHero · 29/09/2010 21:44

Anyfucker, your post made me rofl! Grin

AnyFucker · 29/09/2010 21:47

are you laughing at my fanjita, HTH ???? Hmm

hester · 29/09/2010 21:49

Look, you need to work out what will make you feel better about yourself, and none of us are in a position to advise on that (other than the usual caveats: make a really informed choice, choose your surgeon carefully etc).

BUT I'm really sad about this huge rise in labiaplasty. It seems like there is no part of women's bodies left where we are allowed to just be the way we are, without pressure to live up to unrealisable ideals. When I was a teenager (a long time ago!) it was kind of enough to look ok in your clothes; I didn't have any idea what a fanjo was supposed to look like (and I was pretty streetwise). Now, the proliferation of porn has meant that all young people think vulvas should be small, neat and hairless.

IME (not professional, just as a lesbian for many years so I've seen a few front bottoms in my time) how you describe your labia sounds normal. Not completely average, but well within the normal range. I'm not trying to persuade you to feel happy with it, if you're not. But don't let an idealised description of a fanjo (a fanjo, for chrissake - genitalia are just not intrinsically aesthetically pleasing, let's face it) make you think you've got anything to be ashamed of.

HalfTermHero · 29/09/2010 21:51

I am sorry anyfucker! I just found the description to be cunting well hilarious. Even dh had a giggle.

foreverastudent · 29/09/2010 21:51

yabu

I think your problem is in your brain not your bits.