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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed when parents hog high chairs

221 replies

Mapley · 23/01/2011 22:49

I hate it when you're in a busy cafe, that only has a couple of high chairs and they are invariably in use.

But what annoys me more is when they have a 6 (or something) month old baby in them that has finished being spoon fed 20 minutes ago and is now being ignored (and conveniently contained) while his mum drinks coffee and chats. In the meantime i'm wrestling my one year old who is too little for an adult chair, wriggles all over the place without a high chair and won't eat half as much as he should when he can't reach the table and isn't strapped in.

Surely when you've finished feeding your baby you give up the high chair, and either hold your baby or put them in their buggy, not hog the highchairs and make other parent's lives difficult?

Today I was in a cafe and this woman literally sat there for over half an hour with her baby in the high chair playing with toys while I tried to feed my toddler on my knee! I finally decided to ask her if she finshed with the hugh chair, and she said no and carried on chatting! Grrrr

I usually do carry round a portable fabric high chair, but it's still not as good and I usually pick cares to go too because I know they have high chairs.

Aibu?

OP posts:
mutznutz · 24/01/2011 00:46

Look you two...the least you can do is wait in the queue whilst my and my husband try TTC Angry

Oh and no pervy youtube clips unless you cut us in..ok? Hmm

mutznutz · 24/01/2011 00:48

I'm guessing if I conceive in this cafe, give birth in this cafe and breast feed in this cafe...that's got to at least get me a free latte - even if it doesn't give me dibs on the high chairs Wink

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 24/01/2011 00:48

is that a 3 way split or 4 (your DH)mutz?

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 24/01/2011 00:50

what you gonna call it mutz? Mocha? Lattea?

mutznutz · 24/01/2011 00:51

Blimey...that's a little more kinky than even I'm willing to go for Boo Shock Blush

Original poster
Mapley · 24/01/2011 00:51

Boo, that's not fair. I said half way thru the thread, on my 4th post

"I will keep in my mind other's reasons and views on this though in future and try to not get annoyed. Apologies for calling yous rude and selfish, we obviously just view this very differently!"

have fun you three!

OP posts:
ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 24/01/2011 00:52

i meant the money mutz? Grin

mapley what isn't fair? i have said alot on here tonight.

mutznutz · 24/01/2011 00:52

No I'm going to call it 'Get out of that high chair you child of a coffee swilling bastard Smith' Grin

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 24/01/2011 00:53

Grin @ smith!!!

mutznutz · 24/01/2011 00:54

Anyhoo...I'm off to bed.

OP, this shouldn't be a problem for you for much longer anyway...so unless you're intending to eat brekkie, lunch and dinner in a cafe every day, it's really not a bigee in the grand scheme of things Grin

Night all x

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 24/01/2011 00:55

night mutz!

WimpleOfTheBallet · 24/01/2011 00:57

YABU people use them so the baby can be part of the sitting at a table...learning to interact. They're not just for eating in...they elevate the child...put them at the same level as their parents.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 24/01/2011 06:41

My 4 year old very tall dd still gets crammed into a highchair if she will fit (the wooden ones without tables).

She has SN and wouldn't sit or learn to , but oh the looks of outrage we get!

This thread just made me laugh a bit at the intensity of cafe politics.

oP, YABu and have a strange viewpoint.

WimpleOfTheBallet · 24/01/2011 08:02

I have put my tall 2 year old in them too! People do look but she's 2!

Bucharest · 24/01/2011 08:07

Never used one, even when dd was teeny.

But yes, of course YABU.

Louii · 24/01/2011 08:19

If I am in a cafe with dd and she is in a high chair and has finished eating, then if someone else needs it to feed their child then of course I offer it to them.

If my child had finished eating and I see another mother struggling to feed her child on her knee then I give them the highchair, that's what most people do.

Original poster
Mapley · 24/01/2011 08:27

Well after having slept on it I realise that I must undeniably hold a very different opinion to everyone else as to the purpose of high chairs in cafes.

While I think it's ok to hold a view if you're in the minority, it's daft to expect it to be upheld by the rest of society and rude to insist it is. I still don't particularly agree and will continue to offer my ds's highchair to those waiting if he's finished, but I won't get annoyed anymore as I understand people's reasons even if I don't agree with them.

So thanks for my first ever flaming and thanks for helping me understand and be more tolerant.

Cheers aibu!

OP posts:
Original poster
Mapley · 24/01/2011 08:29

And thanks louii, that's what I'm going to continue to do too!

OP posts:
Tee2072 · 24/01/2011 08:32

Louii I think this thread proves that is not what most people do. In fact, only a small minority do.

And I wouldn't. I agree with everyone else. If my child is in a highchair, he will stay in a highchair until everyone else is through eating.

Just like I wouldn't give up my own seat to someone else, why should my child?

NeilsBoar · 24/01/2011 08:48

Well, I'm going to join the small minority who would strap their baby/toddler back into the pushchair or, now DS is a bit bigger, sit him on an adult chair if he has finished eating and another family need the high chair...

However, I wouldn't have gone over and asked someone else to turf their baby out if they hadn't volunteered!

Also... our DS is 21 months and on the 90 something centile for height and he isn't anywhere near tall enough to comfortably eat on an adult chair and table yet. I guess he could if he really had to but would be phenomenally messy and uncomfortable for him. So do all the people who have 20something month old children have very tall ones or very short furniture (or do we have freakishly tall furniture)??

BexieID · 24/01/2011 09:03

I'm torn really. It has certainly annoyed me that theres no free highchairs before and none at all once (in a family pub on holiday Shock). I've either not eaten there or gone elsewhere. Not all cafes let you have buggys at table either.

Those fabric things only work properly on certain chairs (and depends how tall your child is) and the inflatable things are no good if your child is quite big. Tom sitting on a normal chair didn't really work till he was about 3.

It's never dawned on me though to look to see if any kids are just sat playing in the highchair, rather than eating. I'll be doing that now!

threefeethighandrising · 24/01/2011 09:17

"Just like I wouldn't give up my own seat to someone else, why should my child?"

Because it's a nice thing to do. It's bloody difficult to struggle with a toddler sometimes.

If you can help by simply sitting your child on your knee, then it's a nice, helpful thing to do.

And FWIW I would give up my own seat for someone else if they were struggling for some reason and I could help in this way.

I guess most people are just pretty selfish. No wonder the tories are in Wink

porcamiseria · 24/01/2011 09:18

ive heard it all now.....

get there early, go elsewhere, sit child in buggy

many options

yabu and tres petty

theresapotatoundermysink · 24/01/2011 09:21

YABVU, A high chair isn't just for when the child is eating. Why shouldn't the mum get to relax and enjoy her coffee?

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 24/01/2011 09:23

"And FWIW I would give up my own seat for someone else if they were struggling for some reason and I could help in this way."

What -even if the adult person you were with was still eating - you'd stand and hover over them???????