To be annoyed when parents hog high chairs

[Mapley]

I hate it when you're in a busy cafe, that only has a couple of high chairs and they are invariably in use.

But what annoys me more is when they have a 6 (or something) month old baby in them that has finished being spoon fed 20 minutes ago and is now being ignored (and conveniently contained) while his mum drinks coffee and chats. In the meantime i'm wrestling my one year old who is too little for an adult chair, wriggles all over the place without a high chair and won't eat half as much as he should when he can't reach the table and isn't strapped in.

Surely when you've finished feeding your baby you give up the high chair, and either hold your baby or put them in their buggy, not hog the highchairs and make other parent's lives difficult?

Today I was in a cafe and this woman literally sat there for over half an hour with her baby in the high chair playing with toys while I tried to feed my toddler on my knee! I finally decided to ask her if she finshed with the hugh chair, and she said no and carried on chatting! Grrrr

I usually do carry round a portable fabric high chair, but it's still not as good and I usually pick cares to go too because I know they have high chairs.

Aibu?

22 months?

My dd stopped using high chairs long before that. That's not a baby.

She just used to kneel, so she could use her fork and spoon.

But tbh, even before that if no high chair was available she'd just sit on my lap or something.

this reminds me (not sure why as it's totally different ) of the time I travelled on the coach with the DS's. DS3 was only 9 months old and it was just before you could book a seat (for free) for infants. So because it was a 10hr journey I'd actually bought him a ticket so I could lie him down to sleep on the way.

Some women got REALLY arsey with me because I wouldn't move him so she could sit down. I ended up getting all 4 tickets out of my bag (that I'd already tucked away up above) to show her before she'd bugger off and leave me alone. She thought I should have been holding him and I had no right to let him have a seat to himself!!

And my ds is a freak too for still needing a high chair, and yes I'm obviously not teaching him table manners. ;-) yes I admit it I am a rubbish mother with a freakish child and if I see you I'll nick your high chair before you've even seen me coming!

Oh dear!

who said your child was a freak?

If I promise though to take into account the opinions here in future, then please can you all be a bit considerate of others? You'd really leave someone to struggle so you could continue enjoying yourself?

Dear god. The people enjoying themselves have gone to the cafe for that very reason..and paid to do so.

You're making it sound like you think it's akin to standing up on a crowded bus to let an old person sit down...this is totally different!

Would I spoil my meal so some neurotic woman with a precious almost 2 year old in tow, could squeeze him in to the high chair my baby is using?...Not a chance in hell!

Mapley, don't turn all woe is me on this board, it never fairs well.

You asked a question, you got (essentially) a unanimous verdict that YABU. You could walk away from the thread if that's not to your liking, but don't put words in people's mouths while pretending to joke about it. Very passive aggressive.

noone did, I'm just exaggerating the views stated by people who think 22 months is too old for a highchair for misguided comic effect!

Apologies!

Fair enough taintedpaint, you're right! I shall do as you say and leave it. Thanks to all for your opinions! I shall as I said think on!

Who said your toddler was a freak? My dd had to use a chair at 2 because she was so flippin short for yer age. I just didn't expect another parent to turf their child out of one for mine.

"I'm somewhat jealous of folks with toddlers that'll sit in a normal chair for a whole meal! None of the toddlers I know can do this."

Will you see my 25 month old sitting at a normal chair for a whole meal, in a cafe, without wanting to run around? No chance!

Mapley I can see I'm in the minority, but I think YANBU.

You seem to me a nice, considerate person, and your crime is to judge people by your own standards!

If I saw you struggling with your toddler and my DS had finished eating, I would definitely pass the chair on to you.

But lots of people don't think like that (as this thread shows!). I don't think they're even aware that it could be seen to be rude. I think, for some people, there's a sense of entitlement - they paid for their coffee / meal / whatever, and therefore the chair too.

But that's a bit sad IMO - I see it more about sharing resources, if that makes any sense. It is like getting up for someone on the bus. It;s about having good manners and consideration for others.

However if you've never worked out that cafes are great for just hanging out in rather than simply eating then YABU there! Next time you're in a cafe, get a coffee, relax and look at the world going by, or have a chat with a friend. It's definitely what they're there for

mutznutz that's fucking rude, and uncalled for IMO.

what did mutz say that was rude?

and also, you are aware that you are the one swearing?

Umm try reading her last post. Can you not work out which bit is rude?

yep i read it and i am still looking for the rude part.

maybe i am a bit fick, can you help me?

Get there earlier.

a sense of entitlement:??????

hahahahahahahahahha.

well yes actually if i pay to eat in a cafe i do feel that the establishment wish me to use their chairs rather than stand outside to eat, if that means i have a sense of entitlement then so be it.

You're entitled to your opinion and to be quite frank if you cant manage to keep your 25 month old child seated for a meal, then that's no-one elses problem either is it?

If you walk in to a cafe and there are no spare high chairs, then either sit your child on your lap, keep your child in the buggy or find another cafe.

It's not rocket science...the world does not evolve around you and your need to feed your child in a cafe and in a high chair.

When my two were getting too big for high chairs I would go to cafes where they had booths, so I could sit my child in the seat next to the wall, then sit on the outside to stop them from escaping and running riot.

How can you have a sense of entitlement over a highchair???

She called the OP neurotic, and her DC precious. That's pretty fucking rude in my book.

I don't think the OP is being neurotic, or precious.

Next time someone as like the OP offers you her high chair, or some other kind of help because you are struggling I hope you appreciate it!

If there were more people like the OP in the world, it would be a better place.

*I would sit on the outside, I mean

"If you walk in to a cafe and there are no spare high chairs, then either sit your child on your lap, keep your child in the buggy or find another cafe."

Of course you do. But that doesn't mean you can't come onto mumsnet to vent about what you perceive to be other people being selfish!

If choose to sit down in a cafe with a young child/baby without any highchair to put them in that's my decision - if I decide it's too much of a struggle I just wouldn't bother.

it's very PFB.

I bet the OP comes back to this thread in 5yrs time and and 's at herself.

Thank you threefeethugh, glad that atleast one person understands where I'm coming from. You've quite eloquently written what I meant.

And I do get why cafe's are good for socialising in too, I promise I'm not souless in that respect. Neither am I neurotic I hope. But then that might not come across from the half dozen posts here so ho hum, such is the Internet.

I suppose the difference is that I view the few high chairs in a cafe as a resource for folk to feed their babies, while the majority regard them as a piece if furniture for their use whilst in the cafe for multi purposes. That explains why this situation happens ! Thanks all, you've helped me understand. I'll probably not get as annoyed in future.