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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed when parents hog high chairs

221 replies

Mapley · 23/01/2011 22:49

I hate it when you're in a busy cafe, that only has a couple of high chairs and they are invariably in use.

But what annoys me more is when they have a 6 (or something) month old baby in them that has finished being spoon fed 20 minutes ago and is now being ignored (and conveniently contained) while his mum drinks coffee and chats. In the meantime i'm wrestling my one year old who is too little for an adult chair, wriggles all over the place without a high chair and won't eat half as much as he should when he can't reach the table and isn't strapped in.

Surely when you've finished feeding your baby you give up the high chair, and either hold your baby or put them in their buggy, not hog the highchairs and make other parent's lives difficult?

Today I was in a cafe and this woman literally sat there for over half an hour with her baby in the high chair playing with toys while I tried to feed my toddler on my knee! I finally decided to ask her if she finshed with the hugh chair, and she said no and carried on chatting! Grrrr

I usually do carry round a portable fabric high chair, but it's still not as good and I usually pick cares to go too because I know they have high chairs.

Aibu?

OP posts:
cece · 23/01/2011 23:21

Mapley is this your first child?

cat64 · 23/01/2011 23:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ILoveFrogs · 23/01/2011 23:23

I can't believe you asked a mum if she was finished with the highchair while her baby was still in it lol, that's hilarious!

Your ears must have been burning as soon as your back was turned Grin

Original poster
Mapley · 23/01/2011 23:24

I have got a fabric high chair, yes I agree they are good, I usually use it. They aren't as good as high chairs though. Forgot it today though. Curses.

Baroque, no I don't suppose I would. But I don't see the anology completely as I can't just sit on my friend's knee while she finishes. But I do see where you're coming from. I obviously view cafe's more as places for eating than socialising, and I never realised that I was unusual in that. Wow, you live and learn eh ?

I've never had a problem with ds sitting on my knee when he's finished either. Never spilt coffee on him or felt put out by having him there. Obviously not as liberating as him being in a hugh chair, but I'd rather be considerate to others than just look out for myself.

I will keep in my mind other's reasons and views on this though in future and try to not get annoyed. Apologies for calling yous rude and selfish, we obviously just view this very differently!

OP posts:
mutznutz · 23/01/2011 23:25

Jesus your child is nearly 2yrs old..surely you'd have to grease him to squeeze him in to most cafe high chairs?

A good age to start learning how to sit nicely and listen to Mummy when she tells him not to get off his chair and run off.

Alternatively, you could sit him on a chair with baby reins.

Original poster
Mapley · 23/01/2011 23:26

And sorry for continually typing hugh chair! It's damn auto correct.

OP posts:
BaroqueAroundTheClock · 23/01/2011 23:27

On the (very rare these days) I go out for a coffee/to a cafe the main aim of the trip is to socialise.

Hell - I can have a mug of coffee and sandwich at home for a lot less money if I just wanted to eat Grin

Honte · 23/01/2011 23:30

I'm a parent and I'm pretty sure I couldn't fit in a high chair, let alone hog one. Doesn't it make a mess?

valleyqueen · 23/01/2011 23:31

I have a lovely scar on my chest from when I grabbed my grandfathers tea out of his hand whilst on his lap, was about 10 months old.

YABU if you expect someone to drink a hot tea or coffee while holding a baby, if you want to do it then that's your call but don't expect others to do the same.

mutznutz · 23/01/2011 23:33

That's the thing isn't it? Babies do grab and they grab bloody fast. I would be quite able to make sure a baby on my knee didn't grab a cup from the table in front of us...but as soon as you lift the cup to your mouth, they tend to want to grab your arm.

Original poster
Mapley · 23/01/2011 23:34

I'm somewhat jealous of folks with toddlers that'll sit in a normal chair for a whole meal! None of the toddlers I know can do this.

Och well, shall think on. Plenty of reasonable points made. Can't pretend it doesn't still rankle. But then everyone's different. I'm quite happy to share table's in cafe's when there aren't any seats left and I've known people consider this an invasion! So hey ho!

OP posts:
RobynLou · 23/01/2011 23:34

most of the times DD was put in a highchair in a cafe she wasn't eating anything at all while we were there, it was just easier.

first come first served.

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 23/01/2011 23:35

Mapley = I think it was keeping them in the highchair for the entire meal (ie until everyone at the table was finished) that helped my DS's learn to stay in a normal chair until the end Wink

MissQue · 23/01/2011 23:36

Of course cafes are for socialising, I enjoy meeting a friend for a cuppa and a sandwich or cake. It's a nice way of getting out of the house for both of us and having a good old chinwag.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 23/01/2011 23:37

"I'm somewhat jealous of folks with toddlers that'll sit in a normal chair for a whole meal! None of the toddlers I know can do this. "

they have to learn at some point. start doing it at home where it is sfae for them to run and you can bring them back to the table without any dirty looks from other people who forget what it is liek to have a toddler Smile

penguin73 · 23/01/2011 23:43

Isn't it nicer for baby to be at the same level as everyone else, even if s/he has finished eating? And I wouldn't want to juggle food/hot drinks by having baby on lap whilst eating so, whilst it isn't ideal I think YAB a bit U.

Original poster
Mapley · 23/01/2011 23:43

Baroque, you don't need to patronise me. I'll happily keep ds in a high chair for the whole meal if we're at home or noone else needs the high chair.

Personally if ds wasn't eating then he'll sit on a normal chair, stay in his buggy or sit in my knee. And none of these things spoil my enjoyment if my drink or the experience.

If I promise though to take into account the opinions here in future, then please can you all be a bit considerate of others? You'd really leave someone to struggle so you could continue enjoying yourself?

OP posts:
ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 23/01/2011 23:45

"then please can you all be a bit considerate of others?"

erm, yeah, just for you we will Hmm

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 23/01/2011 23:47

well given that no-one else on the thread seems to be bothered about it - I think I'll go for the majority verdict and should I ever have any more babies carry on doing what I've always done Smile

ILoveFrogs · 23/01/2011 23:47

So your asking people to sacrifice their own enjoyment for yours? I wouldn't enjoy sitting eating or drinking with a one year old on my lap.

TooPragmatic · 23/01/2011 23:47

YABU

Asking someone to get their baby/toddler out of high chair is no different than walking into a busy coffee shop and asking someone who is lingering over their coffee if they can hurry up so that you can have their seat! rude, imo.

cat64 · 23/01/2011 23:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Quattrocento · 23/01/2011 23:50

Oh for goodness' sake

Just how dull are you?

AnyFuleKno · 23/01/2011 23:50

You're not going to accept that you're being unreasonable, are you Grin

Original poster
Mapley · 23/01/2011 23:54

I already have! I said I'll think on and consider the reasonable opinions made here in future! Can't deny it still rankles, but shall live and learn!

Gosh, everyone gets a bit shifty don't they ! I'm now being called dull too?

OP posts: