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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be annoyed when parents hog high chairs

221 replies

Mapley · 23/01/2011 22:49

I hate it when you're in a busy cafe, that only has a couple of high chairs and they are invariably in use.

But what annoys me more is when they have a 6 (or something) month old baby in them that has finished being spoon fed 20 minutes ago and is now being ignored (and conveniently contained) while his mum drinks coffee and chats. In the meantime i'm wrestling my one year old who is too little for an adult chair, wriggles all over the place without a high chair and won't eat half as much as he should when he can't reach the table and isn't strapped in.

Surely when you've finished feeding your baby you give up the high chair, and either hold your baby or put them in their buggy, not hog the highchairs and make other parent's lives difficult?

Today I was in a cafe and this woman literally sat there for over half an hour with her baby in the high chair playing with toys while I tried to feed my toddler on my knee! I finally decided to ask her if she finshed with the hugh chair, and she said no and carried on chatting! Grrrr

I usually do carry round a portable fabric high chair, but it's still not as good and I usually pick cares to go too because I know they have high chairs.

Aibu?

OP posts:

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 23/01/2011 23:01

what DOES bug though is when a couple/group of friends come into somewhere and while some stand in the queue the others jump the queue and swipe a table and high chair and sit at it ages before they've got their food.

DS1 asked me if I could do that the other week and I put him firmly in his place

bellavita · 23/01/2011 23:02

Yabvu!

Original poster

Mapley · 23/01/2011 23:02

IMO she finished with it 30 minutes previously when her baby stopped eating!

I go to a cafe so I don't have to feed my baby in a buggy. If all the high chairs are full of children eating then fair enough, that's what they are for! So I go somewhere else, use a fabric high chair or make do.

If they are full of children playing with rattles while their rude mothers drink coffee then I'm annoyed. I see that as selfish.

I'm obviously in the minority though. Wow! Can't believe I got a tit and two v's!

OP posts:

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 23/01/2011 23:04

god I would love to meet you in a cafe someday when you've finished but your child/friend/OH hasn't - I'll come up and ask for your chair

mutznutz · 23/01/2011 23:06

Oh how very dare they..drink coffee in a cafe??

Orf with their heads, the unreasonable bastards

No seriously, I think you need to get over yourself. The baby in the high chair is not just there to eat and drink...it's there so the whole family/company can eat and drink too.

It's unreasonable to expect them to free up the high chair until they've all finished what they came (and paid) to do.

QueenLaQueefer · 23/01/2011 23:07

They're for sitting in.

Why is drinking coffee in a cafe rude?

chipmonkey · 23/01/2011 23:08

Sorry but YABU. First come first served. I regularly used a cafe which had only one highchair while ds1 was doing OT for an hour. Couldn't go anywhere else as it was the only place nearby and they did a fab breakfast!
I bought one of these which is not as compact as some of the others linked on the thread but having it's own tray made a big difference. I never used the toy thing on top after I discovered it was a PITA to clean crumbs out of.

taintedpaint · 23/01/2011 23:08

You are definitely in the minority I'm afraid! The mothers (or fathers for that matter) are neither rude nor selfish (as you say they are), they simply got there before you.

There's no issue here.

Kewcumber · 23/01/2011 23:08

how is having a baby in a high chair hogging it Its got a baby in it hasn;t it? Its not called an eating chair.

As others have said do you leap up when you've finished your coffee and stand?

Original poster

Mapley · 23/01/2011 23:08

Right ok, I've never considered that dome mother's see the high chairs as their baby's seat even if they are not eating. Personally, unless I'm the only one in a cafe needing it, I'd always offer the high chair once ds has finished his meal.

And yes I would offer my seat if other's needed it more. I often do!

OP posts:

AnyFuleKno · 23/01/2011 23:09

you have the choice when you walk in to the cafe to look around, see if there's a highchair free and if not you can leave if you want to. Otherwise you're taking a chance that you'll have to hold the baby while eat

beanlet · 23/01/2011 23:09

I'm with you on the queue jumping baroque - but I'm also well aware I used to do it myself before I was a mum with large pram. I never realised before I had DS how hard it can be to find somewhere to sit with, let alone breastfeed, a baby. People who queue jump just because they're in pairs and they can really get on my nelly now.

bellavita · 23/01/2011 23:09

Mapley, how old is your DC? I think in another thread you said they were 22 months old? Surely it would make more sense for yours to sit in a proper chair? I know mine did at that age.

chipmonkey · 23/01/2011 23:10

Oh and as ds4 got badly scalded by hot tea last year which fell on his scalp and face, I would never sit a baby in my lap with coffee in my hand.

ILoveFrogs · 23/01/2011 23:12

YABVU

Why the hell would I want to sit my wriggly 1 year old on my lap while I drink hot coffee or even worse allow him to run around getting in peoples way when I can leave him in the highchair with a toy? I've never seen that happen.

Original poster

Mapley · 23/01/2011 23:13

Ooooh wow good memory, yes he's 22 months. Can just about manage a normal chair for five minutes without jumping down or falling off.

Och well, maybe I need to eat out less!

So yous are all seriously telling me that you'd not offer a high chair to a mum trying to feed a toddler without one when your child is not eating?

OP posts:

blackeyedsusan · 23/01/2011 23:13

when the baby has stopped eating it is the parents turn to eat and have aa coffee without scalding the child. personally, I either give snacks in the pushchair (two less fights to get ds strapped into something and it has a little tray on the front for putting snacks on) or if we are going for lunch somewhere I take our own boosterseat. saves the hassle of not having something for ds to sit in.

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 23/01/2011 23:13

"And yes I would offer my seat if other's needed it more. I often do!"

So if you were with a friend, and your friend was still drinking her coffee, you'd give up your chair for someone else and stand while she finishes??

KatieMiddleton · 23/01/2011 23:15

Get a Grobag fabric high chair. I have one it is brilliant. When I went to Sydney I could rarely find a high chair so I used it everywhere. It was great on the ferry's too. I could strap him to the chair and give him a snack to keep him quiet occupied while I enjoyed the view.

taintedpaint · 23/01/2011 23:16

The comparison with adults giving up chairs is actually very interesting. A reasonable person would never go up to someone in Baroque's scenario and ask them to get up. I really don't think it's any different when we're talking about babies.

ChaoticAngelofAnarchy · 23/01/2011 23:18

YABU

I wouldn't sit with a wriggly baby on my knee while trying to eat or especially drink a hot drink. As chipmonkey said baby could get scalded.

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 23/01/2011 23:18

yabu

if there are no feree high =chairs when you go in and you know your baby will be a handfull without one then you leave and eat elsewhere where tehre is a free highchair. first come first served. people go out for coffee to relax. they pay for their service and that includes use of the highchair for teh duration of their visit. so what if mum has finished eating. surely she is entitled to finish her coffee in peace while her baby sits happily in the highchair rather than trying to juggle coffee and bby?

Lougle · 23/01/2011 23:19

22 months? My 20 month old DD can sit in a normal chair and eat her meal. YABU.

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 23/01/2011 23:19

put it this way - when I used a highchair at home I never took my DS's out of it (unless they were screaming blue murder - in which case if it was a cafe I'd be abandoning my coffee and vacating the entire table ) until we'd all finished eating.

I wanted them to learn about sitting at the table eating together and about the social aspect of it. That included - once out of the highchair - not going and sharing a chair with someone else while people were still eating.

cece · 23/01/2011 23:19

Personally I don't see the problem. If no chairs available then I sit my DS in his buggy to feed him or he sits on an adult chair. He is 20 months now and could certainly sit there long enough to eat enough to fill him up. Then pop him back in the buggy while I finish my lunch/coffee.

If my baby is already in the chair I would be really very shocked if someone came to ask if they could use it.

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