to ask what YOU have done for people with disabilities and their families today?

[working9while5]

I know there are millions of threads going on at the moment.

So this one is just an AIBU reminder to keep up some positive action.

It might be money that you give to a charity or practical help you give someone you know who is struggling.

It might be a fact that you have learned that has changed your perception of how people with disabilities survive manage in this country.

If you know a bit about disability, maybe you can post to help inform others.

Let's get as many posts on this thread as on all the others combined. Then I shall eat my words about MN not being powerful and join in the backslapping

There is a more practical thread going on in Mumsnet campaigns but I am useless at linking, so if anyone can help please do.

PLEASE, if you can think of nothing (or even if you can think of loads) EMAIL THE DLA CONSULTATION and state that you want the government's assurances that any reforms will result in increased real-term support for people with disabilities and their carers: [email protected]

Enough already ladies.

I have reported it five times so far. The sooner it is gone the better.

I don't think you are making sense.

You started this thread telling people how they should act and respond to disabilities. It upset me and it upset other people.

I'd also really take issue with the idea that responding 'I pay my tax' is to be challenged.

I don't work in a field that allows me to directly help people with disabilities. I am extremely fortunate that currently no-one in my own family is ill or disabled. I do voluntary work, but for other types of organisation.

However, my household does earn a lot of money. We are able bodied, fit and healthy - we are lucky. Our duty to society is to bring up our children well, care for our families, do what we can in our communities for those who need us, and pay our taxes.

People can't have it both ways. Either we have a society which collects tax and uses some of that to support vulnerable members, or it's every man for himself, and rely on charity and 'the big society'. No-one on mumsnet seems very keen on the latter. What people want is social aid, funded by the government. Which requires taxation. I'm standing up and saying that I'm happy to be in the position to pay a great deal of money each year to the government to assist those in need. I don't quite see why that should be considered a reprehensible position.

'But curly lots of disabled people (me included) and their families/carers (DH and my DSes included) get no support. Nothing. No visits from neighbours, no understanding at school when their HW is late, no understanding from bosses when you need to take your loved one to the hospital. Nothing.'

It's understanding that matters most (well, once bills have been paid- and I do think that people mpaying their taxes help, just as I hope I did before this all started).

We have nightmare pick up issues: taxi arrives same time as school kicks out (2 disabled kids, on ein each place).

School getting funny that I am often late.

PCSO threatening taxi with action if it waits.

Sometimes I think - argh. They let the MPV's park without hassle but they just pay their fines quietly adn don;t care 9well my friend does- weekly ticket).

I just think- if the pcso could move on an mpv and let cab park my stress level would plummet

pcso response is 'we do not have to discuss decisions iwht you'; her boss wanted to talk to me when I contacted him, took number then disappeared.

Taking 1 hour tp persuade ds3 to undress- doable, can't help it can he?

Petty bureaucracy- argh.

I'm not taking issue with your wording. I understand you didn't mean to say it the way you did. I think your ideas are worth challenging, and likely to make people feel upset, and that's what I said.

I stand by that.

working9while5 now look what you have gorn and started, you deserve a couple of these

hopefully mn hq havn't got to the stage of deleting threads just gos the op doesn't like the response they get, if so most of AIBU will go

I understood your intention OP, and thought you were crystal clear.

(Given the way things are being read in this thread, I mean this, not being snide)

No, she deserves chocolate at the very least, and a fire extinguisher to put out the flaming. Poor thing, you must feel crap. If it's any consolation, I once outed myself as a smoker, still have a slightly singed ass.

Get over yourself. My idea that it would be interesting and hopefully awareness raising to have a "snapshot" of what disability means to everyone on MN needs to be "challenged"? oh but wait, I worded it badly so despite me telling you again and again that is what I wanted you can tell me that is not what I wanted even though I have said that is the nature of my own difficulty.

Nice being God, is it?

2shoes I want this thread pulled because I ill-advisedly mentioned difficulties I have I would rather not advertise and I post on here in a way that might identify me.

Also if I did upset people I'd rather it went to be honest. It's not becaue I didnt' get validation.

I understand that Peachy.

It's a shame that that very good point you made, about understanding being one of the most important things, couldn't have come through on a thread like this. But it wasn't given a chance.

It's sad when something with good intentions ends up so negatively.

2shoes I want this thread pulled because I ill-advisedly mentioned difficulties I have I would rather not advertise and I post on here in a way that might identify me.

Also if I did upset people I'd rather it went to be honest. It's not becaue I didnt' get validation.

jesus christ, I cannot believe this thread.

working - I hope I get this typed before it vanishes, and that you se it.

I commend you for trying to point out the huge gulf between feelign as thoguh you have done a lot fo rdisabled familes, and actually doing so.

I am really quite bemused as to why so many posters who deal with SN on a daily basis got snippy.

I do not see what was so wrong with pointing out that the general "wow, look what we achieved" feelign that was going around earlier was in fact just a lot of hot air.

yes, the media is talking about disability.

what comes of remains to be seen.

but has it changed anything, really?

doubtful.

and as many posters have pointed out - tiny little things can make all the difference.

holding a door open.

helping wiht a buggy.

letting a family wiht a child in meltdown go in front of you at the checkout queue.

bloody hell, someone enquiring on my facebook whether I am ok today can reduce me to tears. or a card form a friend jsut saying "thinking of you"

this situaiton with carers and respite is not going to get any better.
t
the money just insn't there. and if the money can be found to fund a place, often the place is not there - which is why children languish for years on waiting lists.

bloody hell.

Working9

I would walk away if I were you.

I think you are being given a total roasting for actually not much reason.
But there is not point fretting. Just hide it and nark it din fir experience. I think your intent was warm and fuzzy even if your op was pretty awful.

can I just laugh at my last post. I sound like a pissed bloke doing a bad Scottish accent...

(Curly teh first bit was a quote from herb ietea, I should ahve amde that clear when I posted)

Can I post an opposite to the understanding bit to show what can happen?

We were in a social group (loads on here know what we do but identifiable etc). ds1 makes funny noises etc, flaps.

Dh was possibly not watching as closely as he could but ds1 was with two early teen girls and yyards away so thought it OK.

Teen girls got him in a corner and stoned him. ds1 thumped one, dh was threatened for the thump but the stoning was shrugged off. I made ds1 make a sorry i hot youc ard which I really regret, I wish I had sent a do you relaise your child could have killed my son card instead.

I agree with silverfrog .

You have to think very carefully before you start these threads otherwise before you know it they go "viral" get seized on by the gutter press and rolling news channels and questions will be asked in the "House". You have hacks camping on your doorstep and no one benefits except for Justine and her pals as it keeps mnet at the top of the news pile, (or it did until that irritating little man Alan Johnson stole their thunder)

tbh I think every body is probably just a sensitive at the moment.

working9while5 sorry I didn't realise you had identified your self.