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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask what YOU have done for people with disabilities and their families today?

158 replies

working9while5 · 20/01/2011 13:46

I know there are millions of threads going on at the moment.

So this one is just an AIBU reminder to keep up some positive action.

It might be money that you give to a charity or practical help you give someone you know who is struggling.

It might be a fact that you have learned that has changed your perception of how people with disabilities survive manage in this country.

If you know a bit about disability, maybe you can post to help inform others.

Let's get as many posts on this thread as on all the others combined. Then I shall eat my words about MN not being powerful and join in the backslapping Grin

There is a more practical thread going on in Mumsnet campaigns but I am useless at linking, so if anyone can help please do.

PLEASE, if you can think of nothing (or even if you can think of loads) EMAIL THE DLA CONSULTATION and state that you want the government's assurances that any reforms will result in increased real-term support for people with disabilities and their carers: [email protected]

OP posts:
fartmeistergeneral · 20/01/2011 17:00

Nothing.

Should I feel guilty about it?

Original poster
working9while5 · 20/01/2011 17:00

What is smug and sanctimonious about challenging people to prove that they have done more to act for people with disabilities than jump on a MN bandwagon? Or did you miss the point mrsruffallo?

Please do explain why it is "smug" or "sanctimonious" to ask people to think about what they actually DO to help people with disabilities?

OP posts:
BrigitBigKnickers · 20/01/2011 17:01

Hey Corriefan I am a ToD too! I love it too- hugely rewarding.

gorionine · 20/01/2011 17:02

I have "done" nothing as such but spent a nice morning at toddler group that does welcome everyone.

SoupDragon · 20/01/2011 17:02

Actually, I agree. The thread title is smug and sanctimonious however good and worthy the intent.

mrsruffallo · 20/01/2011 17:03

But you are not asking what they do, you are asking what they have done TODAY

LadyOfTheManor · 20/01/2011 17:04

Why not have a title like;

WHat have you done to help a single mother? I know they suffer, I have friends who are single mothers....

or

What have you done to help the elderly?

corriefan · 20/01/2011 17:05

I'm loving it! The kids are amazing. Im not qualified but really keen to do the course.

JaneS · 20/01/2011 17:06

working,

I think the problem is, you are pointing a finger and expecting we should all be doing things for 'people with disabilities and their families'.

Well, why?

What about those of us who can't?
What if - like 2shoes - some people are already doing a huge amount for our own families?
What about those who are disabled ourselves, especially if that disability means there's a struggle to earn enough to survive for ourselves?
What about those of us who are just about keeping things together financially or emotionally, who felt as if they'd done a good thing by sending emails on the threads about Riven?

It seems rude of you to phrase your request this way. Not everyone is able to campaign, and lots of people who would like to contribute more, can't. You never know: they might find later on they're able to do more. Or they might be asking for more help.

It's not wrong to be in a position where you're less able to help.

QuintessentialShadows · 20/01/2011 17:06

I have also stayed home today. Mostly on the sofa, eating a box of thorntons chocolate. This is NOT helping anybody but ME, because I need to to rest after spending the last 10 days helping my disabled father, with my mother, who has had a forced admission to psychiatric A&E with psychosis. I have been torn to pieces with their issues this week and the last, so TODAY, I have done nothing. I have also done nothing, despite my father calling me to go and buy more pay as you go credit for my mum, so she can phone from the ward. I have no energy left. So, a big fat nothing.
I have also forgotten to transfer money to dhs mum, as her disabled dds hospital bills are so huge we send her money every month. This month, I have forgotten. So I am pretty shit.

Sorry, this thread was supposed to be what I have done to support somebody disabled. Not what I havent done.

Nobody else have done anything for the disabled people in my family, so I am in good company.

Poshpaws · 20/01/2011 17:07

Agree with LitR. There are so many vulnerable familes and groups out there and if you asked about the others, maybe people have supported/worked with those but not children with disabilities.

herbietea · 20/01/2011 17:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Poshpaws · 20/01/2011 17:08

Sorry, Lady of the Manor and not Lady in the radiator ..Blush.

Original poster
working9while5 · 20/01/2011 17:08

To give you a bit of context, on another thread I said that I thought that there was a lot of back-slapping going on and warm fuzziness about the current media frenzy.

I said I didn't think really it was quite the momentous thing people were making out e.g. it was people wanting to be involved in "making the news" vs really wanting to change things for disabled people.

I deliberately did not highlight all that in the OP because it was an experiment. I wondered if maybe I was, in fact, being negative and cynical. I wondered if maybe I was being unfair, and what happened here in recent days raised awareness and acted as a call to action for all..

But hey ho, I am smug and sanctimonious for asking a question.

OP posts:
notrightnow · 20/01/2011 17:09

My husband and I both went to work and paid around £450 in tax.

JaneS · 20/01/2011 17:11

Quint, are you ok? (stupid question I know)?

You sound very down. I'm in Oxfordshire - can I help at all?

DurhamDurham · 20/01/2011 17:11

notrightnow you must have fab well paid jobs if you've paid £450 tax TODAY!! Grin

Are you Posh and Becks?

emmanana · 20/01/2011 17:13

Yes, there is a lot of anger over what has been reported in the news today over a post on MN, quite right, but instead of taking out our anger out on each other, and picking the bones over and over, please take 5 minutes to go to the AIBU thread, look for the post about the bf mum and the dog by the first mrs devere . Read the story of her daughter Billie then sign up to give blood/go on the donor register. It will take you mere minutes, but could make the difference of life. It's your choice - the story touched me deeply - make it the thing 'you do today' for someone else in need.

ThisIsANiceCage · 20/01/2011 17:13

Quint, this bit's called "caring for the carer": chocolate definitely on the critical path!

Been thinking of you over the last few days and wondering how it was going. So sorry about how things are for you and your parents.

notrightnow · 20/01/2011 17:14

Happily, no, we are not.

Yes, we are well paid. We put a lot in and take very little out. Paying tax is a social duty, and a good thing - I guess that's the point I'm trying to make. I just wish more of the tax we pay went to support disabled families and less on quangos and large office buildings and other stuff that doesn't matter.

KalokiMallow · 20/01/2011 17:14

Nothing today.

The last year or so, oh only writing emails to MP's, adding my voice to charity campaigns, giving info on my experiences to the same charities to use in raising awareness.

I care for my DH.

I look after myself.

How about you? I notice you missed out your justification in your OP?

LollipopViolet · 20/01/2011 17:15

Oh not a lot. Just helped care for my disabled uncle, as I've done since I was 7 or 8, and as my parents have done since before I was born 21 years ago.

Oh, and living with a pretty severe visual impairment that means I can't drive. But hey, I've been doing that for most of my life as well.

Some of us can't help those with disabilities in our communities as we already help those within our own families, or indeed ourselves.

ReclaimingMyInnerPeachy · 20/01/2011 17:15

I am a carer LOL

I try and help on here

I am doing an MA in autism and about to try and set ups as an ASD supporter for myself, charging as little as I can and offering discounts to those getting FSMs or who are students

Enough? Wink

FioFio · 20/01/2011 17:16

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted

KalokiMallow · 20/01/2011 17:16

I feel that if you genuinely wanted to know, rather than try and make yourself look so much more magnanimous than everyone else, you'd have asked what else you could do to help.