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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask what YOU have done for people with disabilities and their families today?

158 replies

working9while5 · 20/01/2011 13:46

I know there are millions of threads going on at the moment.

So this one is just an AIBU reminder to keep up some positive action.

It might be money that you give to a charity or practical help you give someone you know who is struggling.

It might be a fact that you have learned that has changed your perception of how people with disabilities survive manage in this country.

If you know a bit about disability, maybe you can post to help inform others.

Let's get as many posts on this thread as on all the others combined. Then I shall eat my words about MN not being powerful and join in the backslapping Grin

There is a more practical thread going on in Mumsnet campaigns but I am useless at linking, so if anyone can help please do.

PLEASE, if you can think of nothing (or even if you can think of loads) EMAIL THE DLA CONSULTATION and state that you want the government's assurances that any reforms will result in increased real-term support for people with disabilities and their carers: [email protected]

OP posts:
QuintessentialShadows · 20/01/2011 17:16

It has never been more shit than now. (my most recent thread, though not updated, is here I am unable to cope, as now I have responsibilities in my own home and work, maintaining my fathers house, and being at the hospital. I fear for my own mental health at this point) Thanks for asking.

Original poster
working9while5 · 20/01/2011 17:17

Yes, Kaloki as I said.. I did so on purpose. I had posted my thoughts about this on several threads over the day. I did wonder if I was just being cynical as I work with children and young people with autism and complex communication disorders and wondered if my Hmm reaction to the "go mumsnet" reactions to the recent events were coloured by that.

OP posts:
Marne · 20/01/2011 17:17

Hi, i have 2 dd's with Autism, its not always about money (giving to charity) its about offering to help and offering to be afriend. Being a carer to a sn child can be very lonley, people tend to avoid you as they don't know what to say to you or how to react towards your child Sad. Anyone can give money to charity but it showing you care by offering your time is much more helpful.

JaneS · 20/01/2011 17:18

working, you asked a rhetorical question, that's the problem!

It wasn't a question seeking a range of answers, so you can't pretend you were just curious.

I know I don't do enough for disabled people. I also know that - like most people - I identify more easily with someone whose story I know, than with a stranger. That's not good, but it is very human. It's the reason why so many charities tell us about the people they're working with, so we can empathize with them. Riven has constantly put forward her family as an example of people in need, and it is now very sad to see her in this position.

You, however, imply that you'd judge us if we didn't do as much for people with disabilities and their families as you do.

Don't you see that your thread title is offensive?

What about those people who are disabled, who are the 'families' of which you speak? Your thread title implies that you're only addressing those people who're not disabled, or who are not families with disabled members. That is offensive and, if you think about it, very inappropriate. Plenty of people who post here are disabled, or have disabled family members, for whom they are doing as much as they can. When you ask 'what have you done', you imply that disability is someone external to ordinary people, and that is very wrong.

Disabled people are normal and all different: it is rude to ask what is 'done' for them.

pagwatch · 20/01/2011 17:19

Aw quint. I didn't realise it had become so over whelming.
I can't help but I really do wish I could.

Shall we sit here you and I and hope someone who wants to send lots of chocolate to people arrives?

LadyOfTheManor · 20/01/2011 17:20

Oh right. Yes I pay tax which funds some of the DLA pot. So I did two things.

  1. Left a disabled space open (which I never do)

  2. Pay tax which funds disabled people. Also funds single mothers, low income-rs, schooling, people on the dole (genuine and otherwise)...and I'm happy to do this as this is the society in which we live. There are some societies which leave the above to die on the street.

So I feel I've ticked enough boxes for the day, where do we get our badges from?

justaboutmaintainingorder · 20/01/2011 17:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
working9while5 · 20/01/2011 17:20

Why does it make me seem magnanimous?! Weird.

I was accused of being really negative in my response to the "power of mumsnet" thread. I thought: "hang on, maybe I'm wrong, maybe this has made a difference..". I did genuinely want to know what the response "out here" was.

I spend my life doing what I can. When I'm not at work, I'm campaigning. I spend a fair amount of time trying to help MNers on the SN forum, too.. I am doing an MSc in the area. Yesterday, I gave blood. So no, I didn't want to ask what else I can do, because I don't have additional time at the moment.

What do I do for single mums? Nothing. My interest was in finding out if the recent events had raised awareness in this area, as it is of interest to me. However, keep picking my actual intent to bits. It doesn't change it.

OP posts:
QuintessentialShadows · 20/01/2011 17:20

oh Pag, yes, that sounds like a good idea. I think a a overseas gift subscription to hotel chocolat would do the trick. Grin

fairtradefloozy · 20/01/2011 17:21

I recruit foster carers who provide the short breaks service for families with children like Riven's. We had a major recruitment drive on right now anyway - please see our ad on the Jobs Board if you would like to help children like Riven's and are able to offer support. Its been there for a few weeks (and I dont care if I am BU to plug this).

ReclaimingMyInnerPeachy · 20/01/2011 17:21

MArnbe I agree

IN many ways the best thing people can do for my lot is to simply koke or listen if I whinge on here

Just chat

That's all

Actually NOT ;labelling me as Mrs Carer and just having a laugh

missmehalia · 20/01/2011 17:22

Paid tax.

And re-posted a link about the Riven story on Facebook to step up the pressure on the Bristol politicians who allow this to happen. Anything more than that relieves the politicians of their responsibilities.

pagwatch · 20/01/2011 17:23
Grin

I live near a hotel chocolate.

Send ne your address, I will surprise you will their Christmas sale stock finest products.

g 'wan - pm me. Then I have an excuse to go in there...
Grin

MissQue · 20/01/2011 17:23

I'm a carer too, and even when my dd isn't here, she's on my mind all the time. I also spend a lot of time with other mums who have kids with disabilities, sharing support between us and doing some of the more normal things that mums do, like shopping together and having a nice lunch Smile So not only do I help others, I'm helping myself too.

LadyOfTheManor · 20/01/2011 17:24

Can I have the link for Riven's post?

HecateQueenOfWitches · 20/01/2011 17:24

What have I done? What I do every day. Look after my own 2. Plus try to help others who ask for advice or information. I quite often get approached by a professional (school or paed or physio etc) because they know someone who's just got a dx for their child or who needs to know about gluten free diets or is generally having a tough time and they ask if they can give out my number.

FioFio · 20/01/2011 17:24

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FioFio · 20/01/2011 17:25

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Original poster
working9while5 · 20/01/2011 17:25

Oh Christ, everythings offensive.

I wanted to know what all the people who were thrilled with MN as a campaigning power for people with disabilities had done in the wake of what they felt was an effective campaign. I am sorry if my communication was not sufficiently clear for you, but I have clarified my intentions.

I was trying not to reveal my true thoughts because I didn't want to bias a response. That probably made it a bit awkward and stilted. However, deciding I was trying to be offensive and that I don't know that there are people on MN with disabilities is a bit.. weird.

OP posts:
Casserole · 20/01/2011 17:26

Like TrillianAstra, I haven't done anything TODAY. Nor have I done anything in particular TODAY to help the third world, or the environment, or my local community. Although I suppose you could say that 1/30th of my monthly charity direct debits is attributable to today. But really, TODAY? Very little.

Why does that mean you get to cry "shame", exactly? You know feck all about what I do in my life overall to help those, or any number of other groups of people.

Sometimes you're damned if you do and damned if you don't on here. Hmm

mrsruffallo · 20/01/2011 17:27

'My interest was in finding out if the recent events had raised awareness in this area, as it is of interest to me.'

Why post in AIBU then?

pagwatch · 20/01/2011 17:27

Hecate is stingy with her titbits on a silver platter.

Original poster
working9while5 · 20/01/2011 17:28

Most traffic here. Easiest way of reaching a broad spectrum. All the other threads were here etc.

OP posts:
mrsruffallo · 20/01/2011 17:28

Thinking of you Quint. As another poster said, things will get easier soon, hopefully

ReclaimingMyInnerPeachy · 20/01/2011 17:29

Poeple calm down

Why does it have to be stuff so formal?

You want to know who makes our lives better in the biggest way?

The carnival club down in Devon who don;t care that the boys have SN or that I can;t put in as many hours as I would lilke and still includes us.

No cash, no discounts, no special adaptations- just a smile, hello and a wink at my rep for getting smashed on two spritzers.

Youc an;t quantify that and I bet most of those would type I haven;t done anything on here

But they do