Hi Lesley... I've been catching up on your posts as per a suggestion; I think I missed them first time, this thread moves quite fast! Like Hester, you make me think hard with your posts and I'm actually learning something here.
Just to make it clear, I'm not at all disgusted by ANYBODY'S sexual practices - I just don't want to see them or hear about them. I've never seen gay people kissing but I can't stand the slurping that some 'straight' people make either. "Do what you want but not in public, whoever you are" probably coins my feelings best of all. Perhaps I'm just horribly uptight... I'm a product of Catholic school 
I saw the recent Elton John thread about the surrogate baby and, other than thinking that it's a shame that he couldn't have swooped in and adopted half a dozen orphans, I was pleased for him - he has a partner and that child will have two parents. Gender matters not to me - TWO parents is what I personally think is best.
I think you're right about the 'newly or recently out'. It must still be very raw for some people who perhaps have not had the support of their family and feel estranged from the society and communities they're supposed to be a part of. I can't imagine what it must be like for somebody who one minute is an accepted part of a loving family and the next, by dint of wanting to live the lifestyle that they're destined to - are 'disowned'. 
I can imagine a scenario where a person so rejected might see themselves as having to 'take on the world' and 'fight for their rights to be'. That's very sad, to feel that way. Perhaps it is being gay and feeling that they are in a minority group makes people defensive and a bit 'battle-weary'. I don''t know. As I've said, this thread has made me realise that I can't truly put myself in the shoes of a gay person and see where they're coming from. But I can and do feel empathy with a human being that isn't treat fairly.
I have an example of the self-absorbtion that I was referring to in an earlier post. My colleague (who is gay) and I were staying in an apartment. It wasn't a great place, quite run-down. Anyway, there were two bedrooms. My colleague picked the one she wanted and I had the other one. A minute later there were appalled shrieks coming from my colleague's. Her bedspread had some kind of questionnable stains on it and she thought they might have been semen. Instead of ringing down to housekeeping for a change of bedding she said, "We'll have to swap, I can't sleep in this bed, I'm a lesbian". We laugh about it now and I remind her of it when she's being a diva. 
I've thought about my views on this subject and, as I've previously mentioned, I have gay friends and colleagues. I probably have a great deal of acquaintances at work that are gay also and I don't know it. At the end of it all, sexuality doesn't - and shouldn't - define a person, their character is what makes them what they really are.