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Original poster

To wonder why dog owners get offended because mychild is scared of their dog?

229 replies

hoovercraft · 17/01/2011 07:26

My ds is really really scared of strange dogs. Its something thats quite upsetting and we dont know where it has come from. We are trying our best to work with it.

Went out yesterday to a local park/woods and there were many dogs. Ds was almost crippled with fear when he saw a dog approaching...we held his hands and reassured him.One barked and he cried. We hadnt realised he would be so scared tbh but the barking dog set us up for a looooong walk back to the car that day.

What I dont understand is why dog owners get so angry because my child is scared. We made no comment about them...heck, its a park, they are allowed to walk their dogs ffs. I even went overboard telling him not to worry when most dogs went past.....it was a lovely dog, a happy tail wagging dog, it wont hurt you etc and all we got were glares and rather nasty "it wont HURT you know!".
Whats that all about then?

OP posts:
PeeringIntoTheWintryVoid · 19/01/2011 09:10

A1980 Shock that woman is just plain rude!

As TheFirstMrsDeVere said upthread;
"Some people are rude and stupid, some of them have dogs, some of them dont."

I find some of the experiences (of dog owners' bad behaviour) I'm hearing on here just Shock Hmm but to tar all dog owners with the same brush just because you've met a lot of rude, inconsiderate people who happen to have dogs, seems a bit of a blanket judgement.

Goldenbear · 19/01/2011 09:18

Doinmecleanin do you realise that you sound a bit of an immature 'tosser' for suggesting that you would essentially encourage your child to assult other children on your behalf over a dog. Did I say my child was only THREE! I think your a bit strange to be recalling that behaviour with such glee.

I have to say I don't think our paths will ever cross we don't sound like we move in the same kind of circles. Were I live you don't tend to see parents child baiting!

IntergalacticHussy · 19/01/2011 09:23

we were taking a walk with dd1 and 2 - a massive dog bounds over, not on a lead, leaps up onto 6 month old dd and licks her (terrified) face. dd1 is screaming in fear and running off, dh has to literally drag this enormous beast off our baby.

dog owners response? stands there laughing with her mate. i'm talking about two 'respectable' middle aged women. I challenged her and she just said 'i don't know what you're getting so worked up about she wouldn't hurt a fly. she's fine with my grandchildren,.' i replied that she wasn't fine, she could've bitten my baby's face off by now for all we knew, whereupon this old bitch (the owner) says that she doesn't care. 'I don't care about people. i prefer dogs' were her exact words.

DooinMeCleanin · 19/01/2011 09:30

I never said I would enocurage her I said she would. Dd2 has behavioural difficulties and possible SN. I have more control of my dogs than I do dd2. She tends not to work for tit bits and and squeaky toys Wink

And as for immature I don't allow my children to make insulting comments about others and/or their pets. Even dd2 would not cross that line as it has been explained to her that it is rude and may upset people.

prettymuchapixiegirl · 19/01/2011 09:35

I'm always aware that not everyone is going to feel the same way about my dog as I do. When we're out, she is so busy sniffing and running around that she doesn't approach anyone, she just isn't interested. If she was the type of dog to jump up at strangers and go up to people, I would put her on her lead.

On the flip side, it does annoy me when people come round and start screeching about the dog and demanding that I shut her away, when she has no interest in them and is just in the same room. One of DD1's friends (aged 13) comes round regularly, knowing full well that we have a dog, and starts saying "Shut her in the kitchen" when she comes in. I refuse and say that the dog lives here and if she doesn't like it perhaps she shouldn't keep coming round. She's not phobic about dogs BTW, she just thinks that the dog is looking at her all the time.

whoodoo · 19/01/2011 09:40

Beer-that is exactly my point which I make to my dad on a regular basis. The dog is huge compared to him so he is understandably scared. I have never said anything to encourage his fear- I actively try to talk him round.

BeerTricksPotter · 19/01/2011 09:51

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

whoodoo · 19/01/2011 10:02

Thanks beer

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 19/01/2011 10:05

I haven't read the whole thread - I read as far as Shodan's post about her ds's fear of dogs, and how he has overcome it, and her story demonstrates very well what I want to say.

I would never be angry or offended if someone was afraid of my dog. It only takes one scary incident to set up a real fear - one of our neighbours' little girl was knocked over by a boisterous lab puppy, and became very scared of dogs - and I can really understand that.

Dh and I have always been happy to spend time with this little girl and our labrador, holding tight to the dog, making her behave impeccably, and letting the little girl take her time to approach the dog if she wanted to. Gradually, she has got happier around our dog, to the extent that recently she was walking her round the end of our cul-de-sac on her lead, pleased as punch at her achievement.

A good, wellbehaved dog can be a huge amount of fun for a child (or an adult) to play with, and it saddens me that some children are afraid of dogs.

StayingDavidTennantsGirl · 19/01/2011 10:34

And Goldenbear - I'm sorry, but I think it is rude for you to let your son refer to small dogs as 'rat dogs'. As you have been told on this thread, many owners of small dogs would be offended by that.

You don't have to go into some long explanation about vermin - all you have to say to your ds is 'DS - people might be upset at their dog being called a rat dog - so why not call them little dog instead.'

gypsymummy · 19/01/2011 10:43

My DS who is 5 is scared of dogs too especailly big ones and many a time he has screamed his head off when a huge dog comes sniffing him and i do get agiatted but the reaction of the owners has been varied: some are understanding and even aplogetic, but some will frown as if the dog has been offended! now, DS does like the smaller ones and even pats them but not the particularly big ones..we have been trying to make him feel less fearful of the big ones too but you can't force it and i have been thinking: hey it is natural to have such a fear and as long as we reassure him he will eventaully come to terms with it..fear is instinctive and not something children can always control. Also,not everybody adores dogs as do dog owners.

mjovertherainbow · 19/01/2011 13:00

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wizardora · 19/01/2011 19:08

Oh FFS get over it, some small dogs do look like rats

hephaestus · 19/01/2011 19:32

Some small babies look like Winston Churchill but you'd lamp me if I dared to say that about your baby.

SarahStrattonsBaubles · 19/01/2011 19:49
Hmm

There are some very odd threads on MN sometimes. This is one of them.

wizardora · 19/01/2011 19:59

hephaestus - if you were 3 years old I would find it funny ... Some small dogs look like rats & some very young children say things that wouldn't be appropriate for an adult to say, it is a very very simple thing for anyone to get their head round.

Agree, very odd thread!

kelway · 19/01/2011 20:01

a women in our street has one of those scary dogs, makes a staffi look like a poodle. she is only frail and i see the dog taking her for a walk a few times a day. i avoid her like the plague as if that dog wanted to take someones head off she'd have a right job stopping it (wink). some other bint let her dog do a shit at the top of our path, not by the wall but at the top of our bloody path. she did, fair doos, bend down and wipe it up however it was a runny one and there was loads left behind, i had to take a bucket and brush to it, wasn't happy. my sister has three retrievers. her dh gets angry when i go round there (which isn't often, her house stinks of doggy smell which i really hate). i have bad asthma and when i go there i weeze terribly within about 10 minutes, he gets pissed off with ME because my sister insists he keeps them in the other room, which he does for all of 5 minutes but then he always lets them out. he is an odd character, never been able to show affection to either of his kids but fawns over his bloody dogs. personnally, i quite like dogs although for me smaller the better as seem to smell 'less doggy' and thus i weeze less, he gets cross with dd as she is fearful of them, gentle buggers but rather large and like to jump up, she is only a petit 7 year old. just a bit of light doggy banter.

lovelyopaque · 19/01/2011 20:20

Just yesterday, my 3yo ran into our local park. A man with a dog was sat at the side. As my child ran along to the swings, the dog bounded out straight at her, barking and charging at her. The man kept saying "it's fine, it's no problem". The crying child suggested it was a problem.. I don't want my dc to be frightened of dogs, but I fear the 3yo might be now. Unless you have a dog or a close relative has a dog and have spent time with them since birth, I think most children are wary. My dc have never spent time with dogs as we know no dog owners well. For that reason training my children to be around them has never been high on my list of things to do.

BeerTricksPotter · 19/01/2011 20:29

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Onetoomanycornettos · 19/01/2011 20:36

I would like to stick up for all the dog owners who (after my children asked them, having been taught to ask politely) have allowed their dogs to be patted gently and stroked and so on by my two dog-mad girls. I am really scared of dogs myself, and assumed my two would be the same, but when a big dog jumped up and knocked my dd1 over as a toddler, she just jumped up and wanted to cuddle the dog...(cue me restraining her not the other way around).

Our next door neighbours in particular are really kind, and let the children go over to play with the dogs, and have taught them which one is really friendly, and which is a bit grumpy and nippy. They need to know this stuff, they can't live in a world with no dogs in it and personally I think it's wonderful they know how to handle themselves and animals, my daughter even wants to be a vet (and has not picked my phobia of biting animals).

So, thank you to the lovely mum with children who saw how excited mine were and stopped to tell us all about her dog and let us pat him, thanks to all the older ladies and gentlemen who have let us stroke their dogs, not all dog owners are selfish inconsiderate types!

Onetoomanycornettos · 19/01/2011 20:37

I'd like to clarify that my phobia is of animals that bite, not that I personally don't want to bite animals...

kelway · 19/01/2011 20:38

why hasn;t my wink worked? beertricks' - how did you make your wink work?? (i like hamsters but get upset with anything kept in a cage, and don't get me started on those plastic ball prison things..........)

kelway · 19/01/2011 20:42

the market i work in seems to be a mecca for people to come down with their dog, it is like crufts down there. the other weekend i was sitting down to enjoy my home made egg mayo' sarni' when i had to put it down to serve a customer. when i looked round there was a dog with my sarni' in it's mouth, i was really gutted but i saw the funny side, the owner looked really embarassed but i was easy going about it so she didn't need to feel bad. but the odd thing was that three more times that day the dog kept coming back (to see me) looking for more eggy sandwhiches, no sign of the owner, strange.....but i thought it was really funny although i starved for the rest of the day as the food on offer where i trade is not very nice

BeerTricksPotter · 19/01/2011 20:53

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Goldenbear · 19/01/2011 22:13

Ahh