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AIBU?

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Original poster

To wonder why dog owners get offended because mychild is scared of their dog?

229 replies

hoovercraft · 17/01/2011 07:26

My ds is really really scared of strange dogs. Its something thats quite upsetting and we dont know where it has come from. We are trying our best to work with it.

Went out yesterday to a local park/woods and there were many dogs. Ds was almost crippled with fear when he saw a dog approaching...we held his hands and reassured him.One barked and he cried. We hadnt realised he would be so scared tbh but the barking dog set us up for a looooong walk back to the car that day.

What I dont understand is why dog owners get so angry because my child is scared. We made no comment about them...heck, its a park, they are allowed to walk their dogs ffs. I even went overboard telling him not to worry when most dogs went past.....it was a lovely dog, a happy tail wagging dog, it wont hurt you etc and all we got were glares and rather nasty "it wont HURT you know!".
Whats that all about then?

OP posts:
BeerTricksPotter · 17/01/2011 17:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LadyBiscuit · 17/01/2011 17:09

BeerTricks - I would much rather people said that than 'don't worry he won't hurt you'. I don't think most dogs will hurt my DS either but it's not a lot of use when the bloody owner can't get the dog to come back to them when they call.

ScuttleButter - if you know a way of stopping a 3 year old totally over-reacting, you're clearly a far better parent than me Hmm

Like I said earlier, my DS has been cured (for the timebeing) after spending a week with my friends' hugely soppy dog but we haven't been to the beach since. I was quite alarmed at the three dogs who were jumping up at us and I'm not scared of dogs generally.

thefirstMrsDeVere · 17/01/2011 17:11

goldenbear what on earth are you getting so het up about. I was simply musing on how rude it is for an adult to describe someone's dog as a rat dog. If you havent done it on whose behalf are you offended and why?

My dog has been described as one of ,'one of those rat dogs' and I dont like it much. It is an entirely innacurate description and is meant to be perjorative.

midori1999 · 17/01/2011 17:11

Yep, obviously I am sat here worried my well socialised and well trained dog might suddenly decide to maul my son whilst he eats his apple... Hmm

i40.photobucket.com/albums/e201/midori1999/79184db6.jpg

If he takes his hand off her leg she will nudge him with her paw so he touches her again and when he's eaten his apple he'll offer her the core if I tell him he can and she'll take it gently, but that will be the extent of the afternoons excitement...

katiestar · 17/01/2011 17:25

I really feel for your poor DS, my DS1 is nearly 16 and is still terrified of dogs.he feels sick and faint if he sees one off lead and is soon reaching for a stick.
he has never been bitten by one , but his brother has three times.Every time totally unprovoked just walking along minding his own business.His brother was also badly attacked by a cat when he was about a year old ,it just leapt off a fence at him with all fout claws attacking.Another time we were at a zoo in USA and this lion got really mad when he saw him.I think some people must just give off a vibe that animals find threatening

HelenBa · 17/01/2011 17:29

and is soon reaching for a stick....
I think some people must just give off a vibe that animals find threatening

think that 'vibe' might be called aggression?

Goldenbear · 17/01/2011 17:32

Modiri, I once looked after a dog for 3 months in 1998 for a friend who was undergoing chemotherapy, if that counts?

I am not questioning that a few people can act like idiots around dogs but this it must be a minority? However, the suggestion on here by some is that it isn't a minority it is a regularly occurance of nuisance children annoying the dogs, not understanding dog minds and an annoyance with parents who don't equip their children with knowledge of the dog code! Surely you can't have it both ways. I.e children should be taught not to act hysterical around dogs as it will aggravate the dog. On the other hand, keep away from my dog as it could bite your hand off - putting the fear of god in any child and not allowing them to familarise themselves with dogs, leading them to act hysterical around dogs? In my experience dogs wonder a lot more than your average child does away from their parent, it is the nature of a dog, so given that fact it is more likely to be a nuisance to a child than the other way around!

midori1999 · 17/01/2011 17:41

It may be the minority but it happens very frequently and is a regular occurance. If I walk the dogs to the school buses everday, everyday a child (with parent nearby) will try and say hello to my dogs without asking first. If I take my dogs into town (doesn't happen often, I hate towns) then I can guarante at least one person will approach my dogs without asking first. If I am at a dog show, some non doggy spectator will always touch my dog without asking. I am happy for children (or anyone else) to say hello to or stroke my dogs as long as they ask first.

I'm not bothered how people or children act around my dog. They know how to behave and it won't aggravate them, but it might well aggravate some dogs.

Yes, some people let their dogs wander off towards people/approach strangers etc. They shouldn't. I don't.

midori1999 · 17/01/2011 17:42

Just to add, I do have a staffy cross rescue dog too. He's walked seperately to the others mostly for training purposes. People rarely approach him with or without asking.

Goldenbear · 17/01/2011 17:44

thefirstMrsdeVere I don't have a dog so i'm hardly going to feel that passionate about it. Your right in that it isn't a witty comment for an adult to make but it's hardly offensive- are you being a little oversensitive. It's not as if you gave birth to it and someone is suggesting it is inherited your rat like gene pool!

StarlightPrincess · 17/01/2011 17:46

Some dogs do look like rats though. Just saying.

CalamityKate · 17/01/2011 17:50

Whenever I walk my dog to the school to pick the kids up, at LEAST 2 children will approach to pet her. Older ones (9ish) have been known to ask if it's OK (probably 2 of them, in all the time I've had the dogs), but I've had tiny, pre-school littlies rush up and pat/hug (or try to) without asking, with their parents WATCHING.

brokeoven · 17/01/2011 17:50

They just dont get it.
They LOVE dogs and so they presume every one else does.
They simply dont get it.
I am TERRIFIED of dogs, have a real fobia, and dont really care what dog owners think, i cross the road if there is one coming near me.

I want to scream at them, get the fuck away with that animal, i dont like it, i dont want it near me i dont give a flying fuck how fucking friendly it is, just get it on a lead and keep it with you.

But i dont i shiver and shake past them..on the other side of the road.

Dont get me started about the shit that they think is ok to leave smeared all over the pavement outside the school gates and outside my house...dont get me started.

ditavonteesed · 17/01/2011 17:56

of course it is offensive to call someones much loved pet rat like. Also a lot of dogs have been carefully selected by breed. I love the way my dog looks, it is one of the many reasons I chose the breed, tio call her a rat dog would be insulting me just as much as insulting anything else of mine, you wouldnt tell me my children are ugly.
I also get approached constantly by children who I tell they must ask their parents and also the owner before they touch any dog. My dog is soft but will jump up, she is a puppy. I am training her not to go up to anyone, she is called back whenever I see a child and either focused on me with training or put on her lead.

StarlightPrincess · 17/01/2011 17:56

Brokeoven- "Dont get me started about the shit that they think is ok to leave smeared all over the pavement outside the school gates and outside my house...dont get me started." That's why I like cats, they're clean and they bury their shit!

OnEdge · 17/01/2011 17:58

Yes, cats are good for that .

midori1999 · 17/01/2011 18:00

Yeah, it's lovely finding cat shit in your garden... Hmm at least responsible dog ownwers make an effort to clear up after their pets... (and I own two cats. They live indoors)

I also own quite a few pet rats. Love them. However, they look nothing at all like any dog I have seen...

maighdlin · 17/01/2011 18:06

i have a dog and will not let her near a child without express permission from the child. i know she is friendly but she can be over friendly and it could freak a child out, but if the child willingly goes up to her or asks to see her i warn and try to get her to behave herself. My dd is dog mad (17mo). she will happily toddle up to any dog be they chihuahua or doberman.

if you are thinking about introducing your DS to dogs i highly recommend the cavalier king charles. DH's wee brother is terrified of dogs except for CKCs. I have never encountered a child who is scared of a CKC.

StarlightPrincess · 17/01/2011 18:07

Well, correction- they don't shit in their OWN garden.

LairOfTheDetermined · 17/01/2011 18:10

I was going to make a comment about people who get upset when i cross the road to avoid them and their dog but see that the debate is getting a bit side track.

In view of the OP there are a number of people who can not understand why people do not wish to be in the same space as their beloved animal. There are also people who cant understand why anyone would want to spend their time with such an animal.

I dont like cats, i am overcoming a phobia of dogs. I dislike rodents and think that a lot of fish are kept in cruel conditions. that is by the by. These are my opinions and i understand that not everyone will share them. What I cannot abide is people who cant, dont or wont accept that other people might feel differently about the animals to them.

Perhaps if the government wants to raise some finance, and to prevent unnecessary animal hording and resultant cruelty; they should go back to people needed to buy lisenses for owning cats and dogs. Just a thought.

StarlightPrincess · 17/01/2011 18:11

I totally agree on the dog/cat licence idea. I really can't see why they ever got rid of it.

midori1999 · 17/01/2011 18:13

We have dog licences here in Northern Ireland. It costs £5.50 per dog IIRC (DH deals with it) and is a waste of time in terms of welfare or control of dogs.

CalamityKate · 17/01/2011 18:15

Bloody cats! For some reason nobody seems to care if their cats come and shit in my garden. That's just "what cats do" Hmm

Be different if I went round and said "Excuse me - my dog needs a shit and apparently your garden is his toilet of choice today. We'll just pop round the back, shall we?"

mousymouse · 17/01/2011 18:24

katiestar my husband is such a person as well. one day we were walking hand in hand on the beach. dog + owner walk past and dog bites dh in the hand, just like that no growling beforehand, just a snap. when he is close to dogs for some reason they behave funny, without him provoking them in anyway. maybe he smells funny?

Scuttlebutter · 17/01/2011 18:25

Virtually every coastal authority in the country now has at least seasonal dog bans, and some have year round ones and all Councils have very wide ranging powers to ban or restrain dog behaviour in public areas. For those who dislike meeting dogs in parks and on beaches, have you lobbied for change?