To wonder why dog owners get offended because mychild is scared of their dog?

[hoovercraft]

My ds is really really scared of strange dogs. Its something thats quite upsetting and we dont know where it has come from. We are trying our best to work with it.

Went out yesterday to a local park/woods and there were many dogs. Ds was almost crippled with fear when he saw a dog approaching...we held his hands and reassured him.One barked and he cried. We hadnt realised he would be so scared tbh but the barking dog set us up for a looooong walk back to the car that day.

What I dont understand is why dog owners get so angry because my child is scared. We made no comment about them...heck, its a park, they are allowed to walk their dogs ffs. I even went overboard telling him not to worry when most dogs went past.....it was a lovely dog, a happy tail wagging dog, it wont hurt you etc and all we got were glares and rather nasty "it wont HURT you know!".
Whats that all about then?

Just seen another thread and wondered if any of you who loathe dogs own cats?

Peeringinrtothewintryvoid Are some animals more equal than others then? Perhaps, I don't want to teach my son that some animals are more worthy of a place on this planet than others. I don't really want to encourage my son to think of some creatures as vermin to be eradicated - pigeons, foxes, mice where do you draw the line. You have a dog and that's great and all but you obviously think about them a great deal but some of us don't really give them a second thought other than when we see them out and about. The suggestion by some dog owners on here that a hysterical child around dogs is objectionable and needs to receive therapy if it doesn't want to get bitten is ludicrous! It is not always that easy to contain a child's reaction to something that scares them. Equally, the suggestion that it is incumbent on the parent to teach a child the 'dog code', how to look at them, how to stand, how to speak etc. Is ridiculous, your dog and it's behaviour in public places is your responsibility and a child's needs/rights are always going to take precedence over a dogs! I saw a squirrel in a small city park getting ripped apart by a couple of greyhounds the other day. The owner demonstrated no compassion over this incident and banged on about tree vermin to someone who questioned her lack of control over these dogs. My DS enjoys seeing what some class as vermin at the park, what some dog owners seem to forget is that the park is for everyone, indeed, the outside world is for everyone, I will not teach my 3 year old the 'dog' code before we set foot out the front door as I have not chosen to have this type of pet- an animal that needs to be trained by the owner if it is to enjoy public spaces not take them over!

Goldenbear you are either wilfully obtuse or just plain obtuse.

I don't personally regard rats (or any other creature) as vermin, that is not the point and I think you know it. I'm not going to explain it again, as I have already done so and so have other people.

I didn't label fearful children 'objectionable', and the reason that I suggest they are given direction in how to behave near dogs (or therapy in the case of a severe phobia) is because, like it or not, we live in a society where they will regularly encounter dogs. Of course it is the responsibility of the dog owner to control their dog, but sadly not all owners do so adequately. A child who is screaming and flapping is more likely to be in a dangerous situation with a dog - I repeat, as I said in my post, that I realise this isn't always a voluntary reaction.

As a parent, I consider it my responsibility to ensure DD's safety with dogs, as with everything else. I haven't not bothered to teach her road safety just because it's a driver's responsibility not to run down children.

Also while we are on the subject - dog owners that let their dogs crap anywhere and just leave it also get on my tits, as do those that collect the poop in a bag but then just chuck the bag in a hedge?!?!

Shuffle, We're not on the subject, this isn't supposed to be a dog/dog owner bashing thread in general - shit wasn't mentioned in the OP's post - so take it somewhere else.

Goldenbear, dogs are different to rats as dogs are a domesticate (the first domesticate in fact) and so are entirely dependent on humans.

You are suggesting that people put their vitriol over a really quite trivial issue before the wellbeing of their children. Children have to be taught how to deal appropriately with risks. All dogs pose a potential risk to children, but dogs are part of everyday human experience and have been for 15,000 years. This is not going to change simply because you want it to. Allowing children to behave inappropriately around dogs simply because you don't think dogs should be off the lead in public spaces is dangerous.

DD doesn't like motorbikes; I don't tell her it is okay to panic and run about in the road in alarm if she sees one coming.

Only read the OP and first few replies, so apologies if I'm repeating what others have said.

I was thinking this very thing the other day, OP!

My 2 yr old is petrified of dogs. No idea why, really. She just is. Every time one comes within sight of her at the park she screams and clings to me, shaking and crying. I stay very calm, tell her that the dogs are just having a walk and aren't interested in her, not to be scared etc. I try not to make a fuss, basically. I think I am probably dealing with it in an OK way (?).

However, roughly half (or more than half, actually) of dog owners either give us dirty looks or tut or say 'he wont bite' in a narky way.

She is two. Its obviously not rational, she is just scared, and your narky attitude won't help. Really pisses me off.

I am sorry you've met some twunty dog owners OP, I think you would approve of me however, I always leash my dog when I see someone approaching in the distance and assume they would rather not meet my dog unless they indicate otherwise [polishes halo]

lol LotteryWinner - spot on!

My DD is terrified of dog, when she was 3 a pit bull type thing (luckily only a puppy) came bounding up to her, I shouted at DH to pick her up and before he could it jumped up at her

She started crying and I shouted at the the man to keep his fucking dog on a lead, he replied I should keep DD on a lead... Had to walk away before I did something I would regret...

Wiazardora, I think you committed a criminal offence under the public order act.

Peeringintothewintryvoid do you call everyone obtuse that doesn't happen to agree with you as you seem to like to use the word A LOT!

Actually, yourself and other DOG OWNERS, coincidentally, have not explained why it is rude for a 3 year old to call a small dog that looks like a rat to him a 'rat dog', he doesn't say it with any malice, I don't want him to start thinking of some animals as vernim. As a parent I have chosen not to introduce Jim to such a severe division of thought regarding the worthiness of certain animals. If I told him it is rude because they are vermin he would have asked what vermin is. I am obviously equipping my DS with a different set of values to those you are imparting to your DC, that's my prerogative!

Nobody said your child is rude, or that you have to use the word vermin Goldenbear, as you very well know. If you want things explained again, why don't you read back over the posts that have been directed to you. I personally am not playing your game any more.

MillyR don't understand quite what your getting at. If you read my posts the rat dog comment came up because I remarked that my 3 year old describes the look of dogs with reference to other animals. You are obviously a dog owner knowing the history of dogs and all that but it's not of interest to me. I never said dogs should be on leads. What you have to deal with is that childrens' rights, being people overide those of dogs. A child should be taught to be kind to dogs, not tease them etc. I teach my child common sense in terms of dogs, so generally we avoid them as they may be unpredictable. However, I think it is more incumbent on the owner of an animal they exercise in public places to be able to control it properly rather than the onus being on the parent of the child and I'll think you'll find that is the case in the eyes of the Law.

I understand DOG OWNERS on this thread are not suggesting my child is being rude they are suggesting that I tell him it is rude to describe a dog as a rat dog. However, I DISAGREE in the suggested explanation I should give him as to why it is rude, the suggestion being that it is rude because it is vermin. This is the explanation on the thread, I DISAGREE with this, I am not playing a game or being obtuse. I am reasonably disagreeing. You and others who own dogs feel passionate about them find this rude, offensive. I would suggest there us a whole lot more to get het up about in this world other than whether a 3 year old describes a dog as a rat dog!

Ds1 developed fear of dogs out of the blue at about 2 and usually cowers when they pass him in the street. I do get the impression from some owners that they can't comprehend his fear.
What's annoying is that my dad has a medium sized dog (who is lovely) but ds is totally on edge in his house because of the dog. I feel like I constantly have to apologise for his fear as my dad just keeps saying the dog is lovely so what's the issue. As I keep telling my dad the issue is that ds is 4 and the dog is at face level with him. No matter how lovely we know he is, if I had a horse running round the sitting room with me with big teeth and only 4 years of life experience I would probably also be a bit scared. I wish my dad would just 'get it' and give it a rest.

Honestly beer- I have tried. I keep telling ds how lovely the dog is, how soft his ears are, how much I love him (as I do) but it doesn't wash. I like dogs and don't want him to be scared, he's never had a negative experience that I know of- it's just the way he feels. I wish I could change it but I can't

YANBU

It happens to me almost everyone morning but it's the other way round. This woman gets on the bus every morning with her two DC's and this huge dog. I don't like dogs as I was bitten by one as a child, and I'm allergic. One of the kids holds the dog's lead and it immediately nestles under the seats and it likes to hide. Several times it has laid down right underneath my feet so I can't put them on the ground. HEr DS was sitting next to me holding the lead.

So I beging "would you move your dog, I can't put my feet down" silence. "PLEASE could you mvoe your dog, where do I put my feet this is uncomfortable." Silence "Would you like me to stand on your dog because I've nowhere else to put my feet". I finally put my feet down the side and nudged the dog (very gently) so they realsied I meant business. The mum looked daggers at me.

FFS. They love their fucking dog but I don't. Why should sit with it occupying the floor space beneath me for 30 minutes on a bus.

1. Not everyone in this world is a dog lover
2. Control your f-ing pet in public and don't have it inconvenience anyone else needlessly.
3. Keep a huge pet off public transport in rush hour every day.

But dog owners get sooooo offended if you don't like their ugly mutt.

YANBU.

I don't think I've ever had an apology from the owner of any dog that has charged up to us. They always just say the dog is "OK", and wait expectantly for you to smile and say it's no problem

Goldenbear, I find your comment difficult to believe. Are there genuinely lots of people who do not know that domesticates have a different history to wild animals. Is that really specialist knowledge known only to farmers and pet owners?

'Actually, yourself and other DOG OWNERS, coincidentally, have not explained why it is rude for a 3 year old to call a small dog that looks like a rat to him a 'rat dog'' Personally it would bother me that much. I'd just presume you were a bit of a tosser allowing your child to label people's much loved pets in that way. But it would upset my children immensely.

As I said earlier when my Whippet gets excited she bounces around in circles like a kangeroo on acid. A little boy was laughing at her and said loudly to his Dad "Look, Dad, a rodeo dog" dd2 got really upset shouted at the boy and started crying. She does not know what Rodeo means so it was easy to calm her down, she knows that people use the term 'rat' in a degrogatory way. I imagine if your boy called her puppy a rat-dog he'd not only have to deal with dd2 (who is far more dangerous than my dogs and for some reason people display displeasure when I leash her ) but he'd have to deal with me coming over with my dogs to retrieve dd2.

It's not all dog owners, although from another perspective I have actually had some one who has seen me and my staffie approaching actually step out into the road and walk the other side of a bus in order not to have to cross us on the path. A bit OT from what you're saying, but the fact that I have a staffie and there is this stigma in society that "all staffies are dangerous killing machines" has certainly made me more sensitive to people's reactions to him and makes me wonder if it's because of his breed or an issue with him that they're reacting the way they do. Perhaps some of the dog owners who are get affronted by your child's reaction have issues with their dog being judged in other situations?

MillyR - I think you'll find the dog shouldn't have been in the children's play area, least of all without a lead.